To think this was rude!!

[Whatsmyusername85]

I’m going to keep it short and sweet, I live close to another family member. Said family member had their sister over today, she visits often enough. Sometimes she pops over to say hi, I don’t mind this at all. I love a visitor. So she calls over and I’m offering her a cup of tea. She turns and says “Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!!” Just laughed and said “well you know me I love being organised etc” she said “no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

AIBU to think this was rude!! I mean think it all you want but there’s no need to say it like that!!

Bare, unlived in, clear of any personal items etc.

I’ve known my Sis in law for over 50 years and lived next door for several years and I’ve never seen a thing out of place in her house . She is a neat freak , but I would never say anything to her . It works both ways , I’m very messy but she would never criticise it to me . Swings and roundabouts.

No it’s not majorly minimalist. I have plants on the windowsills etc. and no not sterile…

No. Clumsy, but not rude.

You're over thinking it.

Not weird sort of a compliment. Grow a thicker skin. Thats not rude.

It's not rude.

Your neat and tidy existence has made her feel bad about her own mess at home! Take no notice! It is a form of jealousy… I know this as a very untidy person, I’m jealous of your neat and tidy house!! x

Good God. How can it possibly be rude to tell someone their house is spotless.
Sounds like you posted this to let everyone know you have a clean house 😂

Sterile

Yes op, her way of expressing herself was rude. No one who is visiting as a guest, whether popping in for five minutes, or for a three course dinner, should call their host’s house “wierd” to their face!

If I wanted to tell people how clean and tidy my home is I could have just taken pictures and shared it that way…

Unless it's actually a shithole and you're just trying to make yourself feel better somehow. With an original post this silly, the possibilities are endless.

Yup, she is rude. And weird. If your house is very tidy or a mess, it isn't for people to comment on.

If you are at home to them next time and they say it again, I would say something. I would say "that sounds unkind, I'm not the right person to be saying that to."

Mine you, I hate pop ins and folk that bring extra people.

It’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it 🎼🎼🎼

That was my first thought

If people do not understand this is rude then no wonder we have such a unpleasant society..

Is this generational? How on earth is it not rude?

Other words I could use..
Tactless. Brash. Cheeky. Insensitive. Any of those work better? But yes, rude. Probably didn't mean to offend but it is rude.

It is a bit rude yes. You don’t tell your host that they are weird.

My theory is I think it’s because when you are doing something that society deems ‘covetable’, you are an easy target and anything can apparently be said.

Like it’s seen as ok to call people skinny.
Mock someone for being tall.
Laugh at someone who has spent a lot of money on something like an expensive coffee machine.
Dismiss a parent worrying about their kid being too bright for their classwork in a way you would not criticise a parent whose child is behind.

People who have achieved the ‘ideal’ are seen as fair game and to have thick skin. So your clean and tidy house means you are seen to be immune to insults, as most people like clean homes.

It is not a massive deal on the scale of offensiveness but it’s def a bit rude of her. And it’s definitely not weird to have a tidy and clean home.

I think if people took things in the spirit - a compliment- rather than thinking things are rude we would all be happier

although often someone who takes something deliberately the wrong way has a slight hang up or insecurity on the issue

OP, I am not sure MN is the place to come for insights on acceptable sociable behaviour. There are lots of views on here which are quite frankly ‘weird’, as this thread has shown. Little awareness of social norms.

Its clumsy but not rude imo. Sounds like a back handed compliment really - she probably cannot keep her house that neat and is envious - i know i am! 🤣

😂😂 I can’t even get round the thinking of this..

People saying this was a compliment. And now this. It’s fascinating to see how others think. The lack of emotional intelligence is strong on this thread.

By saying OP keeping her house clean and tidy is weird? Nope, I'd find that rude. Don't visit my home if that's how you feel - I'd want to tell her that.

See I could say the same. ..on the flip side.

You think we should ' be kind '? Give the benefit of the doubt? It's on the person recieving crap behaviours to think the best and forgive these little transgressions?

I think it'd be just lovely if people were a bit more thoughtful before they opened their mouths.... A bit less crude and aggressive.... That they had some tact and social skills and self awareness.

Sadly I don't think my point of view is the dominant one.