To think this was rude!!

[Whatsmyusername85]

I’m going to keep it short and sweet, I live close to another family member. Said family member had their sister over today, she visits often enough. Sometimes she pops over to say hi, I don’t mind this at all. I love a visitor. So she calls over and I’m offering her a cup of tea. She turns and says “Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!!” Just laughed and said “well you know me I love being organised etc” she said “no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

AIBU to think this was rude!! I mean think it all you want but there’s no need to say it like that!!

Of course it’s rude as it is telling the OP that they have the wrong priorities in life and spend too much time cleaning.

The vast majority of people have clean and tidy homes so yours must have been significantly out of the norm to have been commented on. I wouldn’t have said anything but I would have wondered why you need to live in such an excessively sterile environment.

I'd take it as a compliment tbh and you can come to mine and organise anytime 🤷

I’d love it if someone said that about my house. I think the “weird” comment was probably not intended in a nasty way and she just meant that her house and most other people’s houses are not as tidy.

I don’t think it’s particularly rude, but perhaps that’s because you’ve achieved the socially agreed virtuous state of ‘tidy’ and it would probably be rude to say ‘Jesus do you never clean this place?’

Please do explain how a house can be more than clean and tidy…

She’s complimenting you in a roundabout way

Yes my daughter has a friend who often comments that things we do or have in our house are "weird" but I think she just means "not like our house". I did find it rude at first but having got used to it i dont think she means it as an insult because it is one of those words which has been overused so much (see also "amazing") that its meaning has been diluted to align with "different" (or "nice" in the case of amazing).

I have another friend whose house is always pristine and tidy despite having two wild boys and sometimes we tease her saying she must have a secret house elf or something. We aren't actually saying it is weird, just that we admire her organisation.

Sterile is the step above clean and tidy I’d assume

Well we all know a house can’t be sterile 😂😂

No I wouldn't find it rude.

mind you, since the stroke life has changed a lot & no one is going to say it these days 🤣

Yes certainly I’ve been in a few houses like that op, and personally I feel uncomfortable, as if you were to leave a fingerprint it would be bad. Everything new and pristine, doesn’t feel lived in. To me that is weird but I wouldn’t say it, so maybe I’ve changed my mind, it is a bit rude.

It helps to hear the tone with these things, but it doesn’t sound like she was being rude to me, just complimentary in a jokey sort of way (clearly missed the mark with you though!)

If I was trying to be rude about someone’s overly organised house I’d be using words like soulless or clinical.

I’ve never given anyone that impression though, I don’t clean around them. I don’t actually spend that much time cleaning at all come to think of it 😂😂 I do everything as I go.

I’d take it as a compliment —not that it’s ever likely to happen to me—

She is secretly envious that your house is clean and tidy so paid you a backhanded compliment by saying it is weird. This is to justify her untidiness by making out she is the 'normal' one. You are just different and certainly not weird.

I know one person who is naturally very untidy who talked about someone whose house had 'everything in its place'. The way he said it was with such disdain, it was as though it was a negative thing. When I heard this, I thought that it is a positive, not a negative!

Is this some kind of weird stealth boast?

Yes…look at me I’m so tidy…🙄

Why is any topic that is vaguely positive about yourself a stealth boast? Maybe if I had said…my family called over to my 5bed 4bath mansion it would have been 🤔

Yes.

It is a bit weird.

I used to know a woman who lived in her house with her family and it genuinely looked as if nobody lived there. Her teenage kids’ rooms looked like hotel rooms etc. She was odd in many ways and very unhappy with her guided life.

That’s a key difference between clean and tidy?

Take it as a compliment. Much better for your peace of mind than rushing to being angry.

I never said I was angry…

Well I’m very happy, I think both is obtainable.

Yes i think it was rude.
Using the word "weird" is rude, offensive and a criticism of you.
Very cheeky of her.
Next time she says something tell her "we all can't live in flea pits".
See how she likes being judged rudely and negatively.

It’s not weird to want your house to be clean and tidy. Unfortunately for a lot of us it never seems to be achievable, so we are very jealous that you manage it. Even worse that you make it seem effortless!