To think this was rude!!

[Whatsmyusername85]

I’m going to keep it short and sweet, I live close to another family member. Said family member had their sister over today, she visits often enough. Sometimes she pops over to say hi, I don’t mind this at all. I love a visitor. So she calls over and I’m offering her a cup of tea. She turns and says “Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!!” Just laughed and said “well you know me I love being organised etc” she said “no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

AIBU to think this was rude!! I mean think it all you want but there’s no need to say it like that!!

Of course it's rude.
I wouldn't make any comment about another person's level of tidiness/untidiness cleanliness/uncleanliness ever. It's none of my business. And I can't think of a single context in which using the word "weird" is complimentary.

The OP isn't wailing in a corner or threatening to bar the relative from her home, she's just expressing surprise that someone thinks its ok to pass judgemental comments. And I agree with her. It's not a compliment, it's a backhanded compliment i.e. an insult.

I would say it is a house that looks like nobody real actually lives there. There is no sign of human life - not even a stray coaster or a remote control on the coffee table; or a mug on the draining board in the kitchen.

It's the sort of house where you feel like an accidental sneeze would see a Monsters Inc type hazmat crew descend on you, but seriously, not cute cartoon characters.

1. What makes you think im worrying about this?
2. What make you think i have no other worries?

How do you get "your home is lovely, clean and well kept" from what she actually said which was:

"Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!! no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

Not remotely rude.

Depends on where you stand on a sensitivity level. Some people can just brush these things off, others don’t feel a bit hurt. We all react differently to situation’s. She sounds like the sort of person who will just speak her mind and it sounds like she might be more on the untidy side so is perhaps a bit envious? I would take it as a compliment as others have said. In the future make sure you have a come back like “well that’s a bit of a weird comment, thanks!” Big grin on your face. If she asks why, say “I feel a bit judged but I’ll take it as a compliment from you!” Then just laugh so it’s not awkward but you got your point across.

Definitely rude. One of those things that are better off staying in your brain , rather than coming out of your mouth.

Its a nack I have of extracting the positives. I find it makes my life a lot more pleasant than if I was constantly seeing insults. I'm a great believer that people can deliberately or inadvertently try to give offence, but its up to me whether I take it or not.

Sounds like a compliment to me.

There’s no need to gaslight yourself or others though. A simple “I don’t actually care what you think” is enough to shrug it off.

She’s complimenting you

It sounds a little more than “clean and tidy”, though. Is it minimalist and sterile?

I’d be so happy if someone said this to me 😂

I have the knack of understanding what someone is saying.

I can choose not to have a hissy fit whilst still recognising when someone is not being kind or complimentary. Pretending someone is paying you a compliment when they are in fact being (however mildly) snide, is not a healthy way of functioning.

I've seen homes which are clean, tidy and very minimal but feels like the personality of the person doesn't reflect in their home.

When it's the other way around the chaotic disorganised personality of some people I know DOES reflect in the cluttered homes.

It's not a good or bad thing, just an observation.

Wrong.

To call someone weird bc their house is clean is extremely rude. And weird.

She was being sarcastic and meant that your house is a shit tip.

I'm basing this on people saying my house is a shit tip.

Thanks for the correct spelling of knack. I thought it looked wrong when I typed it!😊

Of course it’s rude to say anything about someone’s house is ‘weird’

I hate posts like that. As if no one is allowed to voice anything because people have ‘real’ worries etc. I have real worries but that doesn’t mean I can’t also worry or complain about something minor. Such a smug and superior stance.

I'd have said "Oh, is your house a bombsite, then?"

I like it when people say my house is clean and tidy. That's what I aim for.

Depends how low your bar is for manners I suppose. Her delivery of this ‘compliment’ sounds more like disdain.

Probably not.

I expect the guest's house is extremely messy and dirty, though.

I have a friend whose house is very messy. Always has been, always will be. I wouldn’t dream of going over there and saying God look at the state of this. Don’t you ever put anything away. It’s so weird”.

Nope not rude