To think this was rude!!

[Whatsmyusername85]

I’m going to keep it short and sweet, I live close to another family member. Said family member had their sister over today, she visits often enough. Sometimes she pops over to say hi, I don’t mind this at all. I love a visitor. So she calls over and I’m offering her a cup of tea. She turns and says “Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!!” Just laughed and said “well you know me I love being organised etc” she said “no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

AIBU to think this was rude!! I mean think it all you want but there’s no need to say it like that!!

I agree. It was a backhanded complimented and most likely came from a place of jealousy. I struggle to keep my house in order and I know people with houses like showrooms. I say things like 'your home always looks immaculate, whats your secret!?' I am always genuinely impressed and dont try to imply they are abnormal or try to secretly make them feel odd or strange as a byproduct of my compliment. Its shows such little insight that so many posters are picking up on the fact that you have a tidy home (which most people would love) rather than the apparent intention behind the comment, which is revealed in how comment is worded. Its othering, and was intended to be so. I say this as someone who really struggles to stay on top of things. I wouldn't dream of saying "Jesus, why are you so weird?' which is pretty much what the person said to the OP.

The back roads being the roundabout way

I wouldn't worry about it, OP. What's her place like? I have a couple of friends who are deeply casual about housework, and think I'm really quite house-proud. My MIL, on the other hand, always thought my house was a terrible 'muddle' and had no qualms about sharing her thoughts with me if she came round and caught me with a cupboard door or a book open. She's been dead a couple of years now, so I suppose you're not the only one to take these things to heart. Point is, other people's unwanted remarks only really reflect their own inner world. Maybe she intended to be rude, or maybe she was clumsily expressing admiration at how you manage to keep your place so clean.

Do you always think really carefully before you speak or just say out loud what pops into your head?

I don’t think her use of ‘weird’ was rude or unkind. It simply means outside of her norms.

I’m extremely untidy and find other people’s ability to keep their home’s spotless is a complete anathema to me, because it’s not something I find easy to do or have any real interest in doing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, it was rude to say “weird”. There are some thoughts that should stay just that!

I admit that I find clinically clean homes a bit much. I always think worrying about a teaspoon being left on the drainer or a drawer not being perfectly organised isn’t really any healthier than being lazy about housework. But I do recognise that part of it is envy that I’m not closer to that end of the spectrum!

I can’t believe you started a thread about this.

I'd take it as a compliment. I'd be really chuffed if someone said my home was so clean it was weird! That's highly unlikely to happen...

My In-Laws are exactly like that!! Liking ketchup in your burger (because they only like mayo), having tea or coffee with your breakfast (because they only have it after), having chicken pasta (because they only have it with bell peppers), having garlic butter in your jacket potato, or brushing your teeth after a shower not before is all weird!

YANBU

The way they said it was judgmental.

We all live how we choose and in a way that suits us. Unless it’s affecting the safety, health or well-being of the household or neighbours, it should be of no one else’s concern.

It’s quite possible they said it because they were actually judging themselves against your standards. Then justified their way of living by suggesting yours was strange.

If you’re happy with how you live, I wouldn’t let it bother you.

I think it is rude.
It’s one thing to be complimentary and say how clean someone’s house is. It’s quite another to call someone weird for keeping their house clean.

It was a compliment!

I wouldn't be bothered, in fact I would love if someone said that to me. Never gonna happen!
I know someone who overuses the word weird - she uses it about her own kids, any random thing that isn't her is described as weird. I even found myself saying it after time in her company about things that weren't weird at all.

It's a backhanded compliment.

I think she is rude.

Not rude.

I wouldn’t have said it was weird, I’d have said I was jealous. She sounds like the sort of person who doesn’t have much subtlety about her.

It is a bit rude to say it out loud but I’d secretly think it too. Find it a bit odd and awkward being in houses where it feels like no one lives there.

No it isn't rude. It's weird that you've clung onto a throwaway comment.

It's not really rude. You could say the word weird maybe could be substituted. It sounds like you house is uncommonly clean and she cannot visualise yours as a living space.

Gently, you seem quite sensitive.

I always say his tidy someone’s home is, even if it’s not that tidy.

She may be a massive bitch who hates you but more likely she was just trying to compliment you.
I’ll often call a friend a bitch for looking so hot or say things like I wish I looked like you at 9 months pregnant when I’m not even pregnant - not literal things and a compliment without being too over the top.

Scruffs have to think that hygienic people are weird, otherwise they would have to look at their own standards.

Blasphemous and rude. That woman needs an etiquette lesson.

Backhanded complement. Don't sweat it!

Oh OP. One day you’ll actually have something to worry about 🤣🤣

They just seem like throw away comments... although MN is the place where people rush over to clutch their pearls, metaphorically speaking.

I'd be preening if someone said that to me. However, unless they lived in a bin with their bar set accordingly, i feel its unlikely.
She's saying your home is lovely, clean and well kept. It's a nice thing.