To think you do have to do more than read with your child?

[areyousurre]

I’ve read a lot on here and other resources that all you should do with primary aged children is read to them / with them, and I suppose I’m questioning that a bit.

I’ve always read widely with my children but I’m not sure it’s made any real discernible difference in terms of language development or progress academically. And I now feel guilty that I haven’t done more!

I’d be interested in hearing what people honestly think. I don’t mean I’m going to stop reading to them but I do think I should be maybe doing more.

I read but also do alot of lego, puzzles and mathlink cubes with my LO as he is obsessed with numbers and patterns.
he struggles to keep interest with story books (I do try) but he much prefers encyclopaedias 😂 for his obsession with the ocean so I go along with his interests.
if I feel he needs to wind down a bit it’s a good time to read.

I taught all my 3 DC to read before they started school using different methods depending on what was the current trend. My youngest DC love Letterland my eldest enjoyed a Ladybird reading scheme. They all had flash cards and pictures on the wall with words, such as cat, dog etc.

And yes, I agree that reading is not all you should do! Reading is the foundation but lots of other things are very helpful too!

Always thinks it’s a bit disingenuous when I see so many posts which are so negative about teaching phonics before school. Reading opens the world of books to a child- why would you not help them to access it sooner? I taught my child phonics from 3 and they will start school reading. It is so lovely seeing him sit down with a book by himself and read for pleasure.

Children need help to read, to learn spellings, to count money and give change, to tell the time. If a child cannot read they cannot access the curriculum as they get older. Lots of parents leave it all to the school which amazes me. They struggle to help one child but believe that teachers can teach 30 children everything they need to know ?

Also lots of practical activities eg weighing ingredients, capacity, how to use a ruler and a tape measure. Teach them how to measure and draw a straight line.

Children do behave differently at school. And not everyone has the knowledge needed (or rather doesn’t know how to impart it.)

Reading is an excellent start, and don’t wait until school starts, it’s a habit to start as soon as they can sit up. Other things are flash card based games, maths based games etc (orchard games are excellent, keep an eye out in charity shops) basic games like uno are good for colours and numbers plus turn taking - they won’t get tactics when little but can play an adapted version. Mine also had the bbc magazine which was designed to support key stage 1, not sure if that still exists plus national geographic kids. Once able to use the computer dd1 liked making PowerPoint presentations for us on whatever her latest obsession was (autism for you)

Exactly. It’s hugely important to read with them, broaden their horizons, support the school, play games with them, talk with them - all of that. But children aren’t slot machines. They’re all individuals with their own inherent abilities, interests etc, all of which can be shaped and supported. It’s always important and it always helps.

we always read and as babies I narrated my day, but we also do lots of other activities. Over Christmas my son (5)’s teacher gave us a worksheet and it turned out we already do a lot of it but also had some new ideas
-make playdough together and then make shapes
-look for letters on packages around the house

• go on a nature walk
• make patterns out of toys or food
• do a jigsaw puzzle

30 different ideas some are just playing some are a bit more directed but still play and relaxed. But it shows that playing is learning too.

My son was very happy to be read to. My daughter liked imaginary stories, so I used to start off with the beginning of a story and ask her what do you think happened next? etc then I carried on, then she did,,

@areyousurre if your DS is getting fed up with books/reading find another angle. Comics, recipes, instruction manuals anything that is in his interests will help

I'd say that reading with your child every day is a baseline for learning and that anything ontop of that is obviously a bonus. There is more to learning than just sitting down and doing worksheets etc though, talking to your child, taking them new places, museums etc and helping them to experience the world around them is very important too. children learn through everyday activity, let them cook with you, help you clean, take them to do the shopping with you. I think as long as they aren't sat infront of a screen from the minute they wake to the minute they go to bed they'll be just fine.

I took a very hands-off approach with mine unless they needed help but we always read to them. I read bedtime stories to them long after they were able to read themselves. It was just a nice routine that we all enjoyed.

We always had age appropriate books in the house. All three were keen readers until their teens but two of the three have come back to reading as adults. We also did lots of cultural/nature/arts and crafts activities etc, particularly in areas they were interested in.

Once they were able to read I stopped doing any homework with them. It was their responsibility. Obviously if they wanted me to test spellings or tables I did but otherwise they did it themselves.

In terms of what I did do, ds2 was not great at reading the end of his first year in primary school so I made alphabet flash cards and we spent a bit of time over the summer playing games with them. We also played I Spy where it was I spy something that sounds like the phonic for the thing.

That was it until leaving cert (A level equivalent) when I was tested on my memory of maths and physics (both dh and I did both at uni as part of our degrees). That was fun!

I think by letting them get on with it, they became much more self-directed in terms of their learning. They learned how to learn, rather than being directed in it. I am a university lecturer and the difference in students who learned how to learn vs those who were more spooned is huge.

Believe me, your reading with them will and already has made a HUGE difference to their chances of being successful at school.
Of course, if you wish to do more with them, then do so. But if there’s only time to do ONE thing with them, you should be reading. And if you don’t have time to do that, make time!
It’s the single most important thing any parent can do for their child’s progress at school.

My children both liked Teach your monster to read and it definitely did help, Reading Eggs helped more though.

Thanks. I may look into something like that. It’s definitely an uphill battle getting him to engage with any sort of work at home - bit of a worry for Y1!

He's still so little, so I wouldn't worry about him not wanting to engage yet, some children don't click with reading until they're a bit older. DD didn't learn to read in English until she was 8, and even then she wasn't able to really read by herself properly, not until she was nearly 10 when it suddenly clicked for her.

I've never read anything that says ALL you should do is read to children. Of course you need to do more than read to them. Reading is very important but so are manners/social skills, daily living skills, number skills, physical development/staying active. Reading is important but so are many other things.

It depends what your child is like, they all have different starting points. For example, some kids are naturally bright and perhaps just need a little reading and they’re already at the top of their class. Others may have a naturally lower intelligence and may need a lot more support to keep up. Then there’s everyone in between who varies due to lots of different reasons.

My 8yr old child is working at greater depth at everything and we did a LOT of reading with them and a little tuition due to speech delay in early years. She is also a great listener and loves to follow rules generally which I’m sure helps with the learning process.

My 5yr old is showing the same aptitude and natural intelligence. Lots of reading but probably less due to being the second child and having less time at bedtime. No tuition either.

Some children in their classes clearly have different personality types and challenges, for example, struggle to focus. They’re probably going to need more support than my children.

You know your own child. The children who really lose out are those whose parents never consider support at all because education is low on their radar.

Yes. We were told this possibly in Y1 that the children had to understand the story and put a list of questions you could ask in their reading diary (you didn't have to ask them every question). It lets you know if they're actually gaining understanding rather than reading a bunch of words.
I didn't do anything extra to what the school provided (spellings, tables, English or maths every week).
We did do holiday diaries though. So bits of writing and spelling in that but they enjoyed doing these so it wasn't like hard work.

I agree with this.

Reading is doubtless very important but it’s just as important to find what your child loves and encourage that.

My DS12 is dyslexic and has ADHD, but he’s flying in history and geography now he’s hit secondary school, because he’s learnt alot of the geography in the scouts, and we go on lots of trips up and down the country, visit castles and historical places, and all the things that make it come alive for him.

And we talk about historical stuff a lot over meals because my DD17 also loves history.

With dd in yr 1/2 her comprehension age was far ahead of her actual reading age so they said to keep reading to her even though she could read. She absolutely loves reading now at 17, but the mechanics of it took time to catch up with her comprehension so she could easily have got bored.

I’ve read a lot of things that have. Typically, the conversation will go something like this.

My DS has just started in reception and I’m keen to support his learning, what should I be doing?

I think most of us know the answers would be read, read some more, keep reading. I would once have agreed; now, I’m not so sure (which has been taken by some as suggesting I’m not going to read to him any more - I am, but I am going to be more proactive in reinforcing what the teacher has taught as well.)

He reads to us twice a day. It made a difference quite quickly. If we're short on time, it's only 5 or 6 pages. I think he only gets to read to someone at school once a week or so. There are times his reading journal isn't even updated for a week or more at school.

Reading takes longer to click for some kids than others. In particular it can take longer on average for it to click with boys and girls. When it clicks doesn't have much bearing on future intelligence. However I do think pushing children before they are ready can put them off reading later. So you can't one size fits all. It can be the right thing to push ahead with extra phonics for one child but counterproductive in another.
My son was slow to get the whole blending phonics thing. I did a lot of games with him (you can find ideas online) and quite elaborate activities. This was during Covid when we were all slightly mad and it actually took up a ridiculous amount of time looking back. I have no idea if it actually had an impact on when he learnt to read though. He picked it up quite quickly in the end but I don't know if all the effort I put in before helped..he still talks about the games/activities fondly though..so that's nice at least. Reading I think will help it all click together when its time for it to click on their heads.