To think you do have to do more than read with your child?

[areyousurre]

I’ve read a lot on here and other resources that all you should do with primary aged children is read to them / with them, and I suppose I’m questioning that a bit.

I’ve always read widely with my children but I’m not sure it’s made any real discernible difference in terms of language development or progress academically. And I now feel guilty that I haven’t done more!

I’d be interested in hearing what people honestly think. I don’t mean I’m going to stop reading to them but I do think I should be maybe doing more.

It’s interesting there are two prevailing assumptions here. One assumption is that wanting your child to fulfil their potential is being a ‘tiger mum’ and the other is that if your child is reading a lot with you bizarrely the rest of the time they are on tablets!

Both these make little sense. I know tablets are the absolute devils work with children. I don’t need anyone to tell me that. It’s not what their thread is about.

I didn't do worksheets because they got enough of that at school. But I read with them every day and then I read to them every day, and we did museums, nature, history etc. The other thing we did was cooking and baking, because that has maths embedded in it without anyone really realising. Both of mine did very well at school and have completed their degrees.

I don't think people are saying you should just read with them and nothing else matters, more that if you are only going to do one thing to support children's learning at home then make it reading. This is because evidence tells us it's the thing that has the most impact, it's also relatively low effort, and accessible because you can pick up books cheaply or for free at a library.
Of course in an ideal world you'd be doing other things as well, but not all parents have the time, the resources or the capacity so that's why schools place a lot of emphasis on reading. There's a wealth of research confirming that reading at home (being read to and reading independently) significantly improves children's language skills and academic progress across various subjects. There's also evidence that it boosts empathy and social skills.

It's not necessarily just about listening to your child read (although that's important), it's about discussing the books with them, asking questions, checking their understanding, getting them to predict what might happen, talking about the characters. Because progress in reading is about more than fluency, it's about comprehension. If they are bored of their school reading books then you can look for books specifically linked to their interests. I have one child that devours novels and another that much prefers non-fiction such as books of facts about sports, or science that he can dip in and out of. Sometimes we think a child "doesn't like reading" but it turns out they are not being given access to books that appeal to them.

I don’t know @neverbeenskiing … I have definitely seen the view that you should only be reading with your child a few times, and that in fact anything else is likely to be counterproductive.

I used to buy into this myself until my own son started reception.

I read to mine daily up until P1 (scotland). She then decided she didn’t like books and all she really let me do was the reading book plus one or two other books, for the last year. This panicked me no end and i felt like a shite mum. She did let me use an audio book at night sometimes. But she loves music (i find this great for language development) and would fall asleep to that. She talks and converses well and would play games/roblox with her friends and write to them - this is what I feel has really been her motivation to read and write/spell (all supervised by me and only to people she knows).

She’s now P2 and only started letting me read with her again but she’s reading chapter books and i’ve been told she’s a really good reader at school. This has really surprised me as i did worry.

We don’t really get told what the topics are, I will ask at the next parents night (once a year near end of term), i’m not even sure they do them like they did when i was a child (rainforest, egyptians etc). I ask her and she’ll say things st patrick’s day, robert burns etc or that she doesn’t know or no. She’s in a small rural school very big on the outdoors and outside time. She’s very active and in lots of clubs. I have a historic scotland pass and we do go places but not every week as we live far away from it all 😅. So i’m on the fence about books themselves - but it certainly did help her from 1-5 i’d say but haven’t been her only source of learning this past year at home and she’s done well

@areyousurre what is it that you think you should be doing as well? Trying to figure out what sort of thing you have in mind.

Reading any books to your children (longer story books, picture books, the usborne book of sharks, anything) and also encouraging them with their “school” books that they read to you (at this stage like the ones you say - pat, dog, mum - etc) are both important.

The more you know about their phonics stuff at school the more you can reinforce that when listening to them read / trying to get them to read.

It’s a hard stage because they cant do it much yet so all the books are way dull - but that’s why you mix it up with ones you read to them. Get them to point things out in the pictures as well, all that sort of stuff.

I think the only real answer, OP, is that you need to be responsive to your own child's very individual needs.

I think putting too much pressure on DC to perform academically absolutely is counter productive, at any age. But I fail to see how finding fun and educational things you can do with your DC that are linked to their interests and that they enjoy could possibly be counter-productive, as long as they also have some chill time built into their schedule.

I think it’s also important to remember/realise your child’s reading at school. I’ve worked in 2 inner London state primaries and 2 private elite schools in my career. Both types of education have their pros and cons. But in my state schools, children were heard reading once a week. Once a fortnight in one. One of private schools children were heard daily, the other every 2 days.
i don’t know what type of education your child in, it’s not my business. But it is something to think about if your child is only being heard reading aloud once a week or once a fortnight. Every school is different remember , but your child will benefit so much with him reading once a day with you. Even if he is being heard at school once a day, you’re reinforcing his learning. Just make sure you’re up to date with the program he’s on and how to say the phonics 🫶

I think whether it's counter productive really is quite child dependent.

I think at reception age the most important things are reading and whether they are excited about school and learning.

With my younger one especially the thing that best supports his learning is getting a lot of fresh air and exercise out of school, it really helps him. My older one has more obsessive interests and likes it when we follow these.

Doing lots of worksheets wouldn't have been good for mine but by all means give it a go with yours if you want to

Reading Is massive and if you do one thing I think it should be this. Their are lots of things you can do with children to help them learn tho and not in a classroom way, making cakes, arts and crafts, gardening, taking an interest in them / their world!

I read to mine daily, a bedtime story.

Once at school DC read to me daily. The boring pat, mat, cat etc. how in earth do you think they learn to read if you don't do it repeatedly with them? Gradually they'll move on to short stories which you can discuss the pictures and what's happening, it's about introducing reading comprehension.

Still reading bedtime stories to get them to enjoy stories. As they get older move away from one full book at night to a longer story over a few nights.

My DS loves books and reads well. My DD hates book, is dyslexic but both have excellent vocabulary and understanding at greater depth.

Orchard toys are great - they start with simple matching games then move up to spelling & maths based ones. Any game with counters moving round a board helps with learning the spots on a dice and counting.

Agree with engaging picture books - finding objects in a picture helps with vocabulary, or books about concepts - shapes, colours, less/more - it's all key learning at Reception age.

I like the 'crayons who quit' and oddly enough a lovely Andy Warhol picture book called 'So many stars'. There are loads of beautifully illustrated ABC books out there - chose something you like style-wise, helps make bedtime more fun for you!

YANBU. My children are in y6 and y3 and I’ve read to them almost every day since they were babies. My y6 still likes me to read to him and my y3 reads to me most nights. We always do the set homework, TTRS and do bits of the CGP workbooks when time allows. Despite this both of my children are behind academically, my y6 has to go to all of the SATS booster sessions and my y3 is in a reading group with y1s. The teachers always say thank you for the support etc, but I still feel like there must be something I’m missing. Presumably they are just not academic, but I do worry for them in the future considering the education system is set up for those who are. I was always ahead in English and reading at school, I’m very average in most ways now.

This is what I want to do more of but because the book he has from school that he can read is not engaging it’s hard to encourage this! And I don’t want to put him OFF reading! I think I do need to be a lot firmer about it though, you’re right.

I think anything you can do with your kid that can be calm, positive, and allows them to get things wrong with no fuss is great including reading daily. As soon as this becomes a struggle for them after a long school day and all sorts of other things they want to be doing or a stress for you among all the other things you have to do, the positive impact is reduced because stressy times are not fun nor conducive to learning. Was much better anyways for me to focus on things that were fun and comfy like discussing stories,characters and worlds because we wanted to, playing number games, saying nonsense rhymes together. At home you don't need the structure of school to be learning all the time.

I’m a secondary teacher for 21 years and reading is the single most important thing.

The second is not allowing screens until age 8.

You are doing more than you realise as you use the word discernible in the OP.

Reading is good for the soul and the mind.

What you read is also key. A wide variety of texts from a range of authors including historical and archaic texts. We call them resistant texts. Like Sherlock Holmes, secret garden, end blyton, James Herriot, lord of the rings.

This is good to read to kids at an age appropriate level. You can also get easy versions of it.

Also what are you comparing to? How do you know they aren’t making progress? Compared to peers? If not why not what are the barriers? Are you expectations to high?

He is absolutely making progress but as a pp pointed out, time and resources at schools are not infinite and I just want to support that at home.

Ds absolutely has screen time but it is mixed with a variety of other activities as well, I do need to limit where possible though.

Make it engaging then

I used to make flash cards with the words they were learning and hide them around the room. Both DC can find them. Older DC can read them and they get 'prizes' for DC reading them all.

Prizes could be bubbles in the bath, making cakes, extra play time before bed, doesn't have to cost anything.

I don’t think it’s particularly possible to make the word Pan engaging! 😂

Of course it is...
Shout out, give me a 'p' give me a 'a' give me a 'n' what have you got? Pan.

Remember 'a' not 'A' as you're teaching phonetics.

Maybe actually get a pan out the cupboard and bash it to the letters while making dinner? Older one learns, younger one has fun and likely learns too.

Reception seems so very early to be already wondering whether you haven't hot-housed enough!

Mine are a bit older (Y10 and Y4). Both were very middling readers in Reception, both above average by Y2. DC1 has always perceived himself as an average reader and doesn't really do it for fun (occasionally he'll get v into a non-fiction book, and he has to read quietly in form time at school, but otherwise he won't, and I dont think he's read a story since I stopped doing him a bedtime story at about age 11). DC2 loves it (but still sometimes needs directing away from a screen to do so).

Phonics is boring. I sometimes prompted them to 'practise' it by decoding words in the environment (street names, recipes, greeting cards), but didn't push hard. In those years I figured my main reading support role was to read more interesting books to them, so they didn't think they were all as boring as Bob Bug's Mum's Bag or whatever.

I did various academic type stuff with mine when they were younger. In retrospect, I think it was really only the reading that made any difference (and perhaps practicing times tables). If I had my time again I'd relax more.

My youngest in particular absolutely adored a story at bedtime, either a book or a little story I made up about one of her teddies. I remember fondly her coming out of school chanting and doing the action for the phonic they’d learned that day. Her reading came on so fast, I was amazed. She used to read the cereal box at breakfast, I remember her excitement telling me that was a “W” on the box ! Her teachers told me they could tell she was a reader.She still is many years later.

DS is now 17.

We always read with him and encouraged him to read.

What we never did though was ‘school work’. No work sheets, no extra maths, no marking and assessing.

But we value education and learning and he saw that growing up. We have a lot of books in the house and read a lot ourselves. We visited museums, talked about stuff, made him curious about history etc.

We also ate dinner at the table every night and talked about the news, what he’d learnt at school that day, all sorts of things.

I realise it makes me sound insufferable but I genuinely think it’s more important than extra school work.