To think you do have to do more than read with your child?

[areyousurre]

I’ve read a lot on here and other resources that all you should do with primary aged children is read to them / with them, and I suppose I’m questioning that a bit.

I’ve always read widely with my children but I’m not sure it’s made any real discernible difference in terms of language development or progress academically. And I now feel guilty that I haven’t done more!

I’d be interested in hearing what people honestly think. I don’t mean I’m going to stop reading to them but I do think I should be maybe doing more.

Talk to your child’s teacher if you’re concerned. They know your child and can see how he is progressing from September, they will be able to give ideas of little things you can do at home to help in any areas he may be struggling more.

In those books the pictures will tell the story so after sounding out the words then discuss what you can see in the picture. Is he tapping on a door? Is he tapping his card to pay for the bus?

Can he guess what’s going to happen on the next page?

My mum used to read to me and I remember it fondly but my dad used to write with me. He would set me projects in summer and we would write stories and plays ect. I think this actually helped me more than reading. I’m dyslexic so I was a reluctant reader and writer but the projects gave me a reason to read. Sometimes he would print them out and put them in a folder for me (I loved that as a kid, real grown up stuff). I do this with DD and am starting to do it with DS and honestly it’s got them a lot more keen to read than reading to/with them ever has. It’s a bit time consuming, but I think it has way more pay off.

We used to read with them when younger - they independently read now but they’re older and have homework from school daily etc. Sometimes I still read to my youngest just as a for fun as there might be book I find interesting for them (9) - but 90% of the time they read independently.

I'd say it depends a lot on what people mean by 'reading'. For loads of people it means listening to their child sound out and read aloud a simple reading scheme book every night.

For us it meant doing that but ALSO reading stories TO them from babyhood right through to upper primary school age. Reading books more advanced than their own reading ability makes it much more interesting, widens their vocabulary and also gives them a reason to want to get better at reading - to read the more interesting books themselves not just the boring reading scheme ones.

When my daughter was 7 in year 2 she went to a sleepover with a friend and came home horrified that there hadn't been a bedtime story. In casual conversation with the mum, she said to me that she no longer needed to read her daughter because she could read herself now. Her daughter was not yet a 'free reader' at school so was still reading very simple books. Meanwhile my daughter and I were reading Frances Hodgson Burnett's The Secret Garden and A Little Princess.

If your Reception child is bored by you reading to them you need new, more interesting books (could be from the library), maybe you're reading books that are too young for them. Try some longer books (you can read a chapter a day). Let them choose.

Also reading is not only for bedtime, we used to take books with us wherever we went, and frequently read during the daytime. Finally letting your child seeing you read for pleasure has an impact too, shows them it's something everyone can enjoy not just something children are made to do.

My DC are all adults now, but apart from reading, the most important thing you can do is talk to them. About what you’re doing, what they’re doing, what’s going on around them, the weather, what was just on tv Etc.

As screens have pervaded life, I’ve seen quite a few parents out with their children in prams and buggies, who are either constantly in a call, or sitting down ignoring their children while they check their devices.

What is always wonderful to see is the exception: where a parent is fully present for their child, even as a baby, and is engaging with them from a very young age, having full conversations with (at) them and getting constant reactions from the baby.

Once children whose parents do this start to talk, they tend to be little chatterboxes, more interested in everything, and more eager to learn about and enjoy the world. This, in tandem with reading, is the best thing you can do for your child…

Totally agree, one of the best kids books ever. My teens got our copy out a couple of years ago and still laughed over it.

I depends on what the child needs really. When DD was ks2 and came home saying she didn’t understand something in maths , I didn’t just shrug my shoulders and say “well I read to/with you, so that’s me done “. The same when she wanted to know more about a certain science/geography/history topic.

his speech can be very rambly and nonsensical (which is why all these posts about a curiosity in the world make me smile a bit - perhaps those posters have children a lot older!

This caught my eye. My children are older but not by that much. Their speech at that age was often a bit random but I wouldn't have said rambly or nonsensical. They also definitely had curiosity about the world. Can you elaborate on this?

By curiosity about the world, I mean things like - my older son was obsessed with how our bodies work, he would listen again and again to an audio book called Kay's anatomy. My younger one had a similar obsession with plants for a while and also dinosaurs. I think most 4-5 year olds that I know have some sort of special interest

My child was summer born and got stuck on those early books for a long time. They are dull and off putting. They are great if you move through them quickly but not if you get stuck on them.

I had to do phonics games to motivate at that stage.

I also researched 'real boooks' which were books not in phonics schemes but at the right level. This probably is rubbish advice, as schools do phonics first and only and thats evidence based as the best way to learn. But the real books were more interesting and after a year of reading 'pat' i had to try something. I then did joint reading so i'd read all the bits where it hadn't been covered in phonics and he just read the 'pat' bits. Id just point at the words he should be able to do.

There was actually a range of books where there was a parent page and a child page side by side to get more story in. The child stage being the phonics level.

I think for bright children, reading with them once a day is enough. But I very much found (even before we realised DC had SEN) that once a day just wasn't helping progression. We now read twice a day for a bit longer than school advised and it has made an enormous difference. We incentivise it, so it isn't a battle and IF DC wants to do more (to earn money for a toy etc) we run with it. I think the real issue is that classes at school are so big that children just don't get enough reading time with an adult allocated to them.

We also do handwriting practise at home daily. Not sure that is helping as much though.

Reading and talking.
With both of my dcs we'd read all the time and talk, on the way to school, at the supermarket, at home, lots of conversations about, well anything and everything really. Lots of children spend a lot of time on screens and therefore struggle to have and hold conversations or in some cases just don't talk as all of their time is on screens.

I think all children are different and some will need more parental input than others.

Sharing a love of books and learning is always good. Talking to your child lots and exposing them to a wide range of experiences is always good. Supporting them to explore things that interest them is always good. But beyond that, it's important to recognise that children are unique individuals and they will have differing needs according to their natural abilities and attitudes.

Small children do have rambly and nonsensical language , that’s very normal. By you reading to him, you’re helping his language. You’re supporting his use of words and phrases. At the moment he’s very little and his words are there, he just needs help in ordering and processing them. You’re doing that already, through language and conversation to him, letting him speak and converse, reading stories so that he can hear words and make sense of them.

small children rarely dislike books. Some enjoy them more than others if you like, but it’s rare they really dislike books. My granddaughter at nearly 3 is a good example. She’s not exposed to books really until she comes here. It’s not her favourite thing. She won’t pick up a book here by choice. Yet she still has a small nap during the day. I keep a stock of Julia Donaldson books in my bedroom where she sleeps. She loves them because she can remember the voices I use for the characters, she can join in the common phrases that she’s remembers from consistent “reading” , she can tell me what happens in the book next. That only comes from being consistent and making it enjoyable for her.

maybe you need to “up the game “ a bit to hold your ds interest in the books . Use puppets and/or voices for different characters. Find books that he’s more interested in. As I say my granddaughter has very little interest apart from her bedtime Julia Donaldson but I’m trying to expand it into peppa pig and Bluey themed books, as they are her favourite characters.She’ll flip through it in minutes but she’s still being exposed that we read left to right, the book is the correct way up, we can look for clues in the book to give us the story etc.

Do you mean you read to him, or he reads to you (reinforcing what school have already done, that is to say?)

Haven't rtft but the studies all show that reading for PLEASURE is what indicates the best academic outcomes. So yes read to them and with them, talk about the stories, make it cosy and wonderful and fun. Phonics and all that is for school to do. Your job is to engender a love of it so they WANT TO take those important technical skills school are teaching them and run with them.

Reading with them and talking about the stories is great and so important.

Maths is AS important as English though, so when they get old enough to learn times tables then I think helping them with that at home is as important as reading.

I have a very academic child and a ND Child who struggles academically though bright.

both have brilliant vocabularies through reading with me & conversations.

strangely I think this has worked to dd2’s disadvantage- her excellent vocab masks her ND & resulting ND struggles & challenges in many ways.

Depends on the child, I suppose. Once I COULD read (v early), nobody in the family ever read "with" me again - but then I was addicted to reading and just did it all the time without being prompted. I was supplied with all the books I wanted but my parents never had a clue what was in them. But if you've got a child who isn't so keen on it, then you might need to. It's a shame, though - something that makes them feel that reading is a chore rather than a pleasure. And the same with other subjects - the school told me parents I was doing great and they accepted that - can't remember them ever glancing at any of my homework. But I'm sure if the school had told them there was a problem with anything they'd have been right on it. Very 80s parenting, I suppose. But if you've got kids who are self-motivated I think that's to be encouraged. Whereas if they need a bit more help / chivvying, then you should. I think you have to take their cue from them - don't hover and make them feel like they shouldn't be able to do stuff alone. Working the hard things out for themselves is what builds confidence and thinking skills.

Two things I swear by:
Reading every day / night at bedtime
Having dinner together

No doubt for me that these have brought my children along considerably. Having dinner as a family allows children to have exposure to more rare words than they would get through age appropriate reading.

Also - no tablets. Even on a 6.5 hour car ride, it was not needed. Take them to restaurants etc and always fine. Tablets are some mad dystopian world but of course plenty of people will say 'I needed dancing fruit on YouTube to allow me to clean the house...'

Reading is very important. Been able to read means that differentiated work can be accessed easier. Reading expands vocabulary and builds imagination.

Reading is also very accessible to all families, you can visit the library and borrow books. You don't need to buy work books or visit expensive attractions.

I personally think spending time fully present with children (not on screens) and doing activities together is very important. Things like swimming, days out, free museums, going to the park and playing with your children, taking them shopping and engaging with them round the shop.

They also need unstructured time to play both inside and outside without any screens.

Something our education policy makers seem to forget is that children of all ages need to move and play. Play looks different through the ages, children don't grow out of play.

Probably because this phone MAY be in American mode 😂 autocorrect and I don't have the energy or the will to be correcting things. Maths is British way and math is American and maybe some other I think.

I dont know what you want then. I've said all I can. I have had 30 years as an Early Years teacher (specialised in the age group at uni), am a mother and grandmother with 2 grandchildren at good universities but what do I know? I'll leave you to it.

Reading is absolutely the best and most important thing you can do with your child.

Read to your child. Talk about what you've read. Keep reading to them - don't stop once they can read themselves. Encourage them to read books around their interests - fiction and non-fiction. Listen to them read & discuss the story.

Research shows that children who read achieve consistently higher results than those who don't. The ability to read means children can access the rest of the curriculum. Reading allows children to experience world's outside their own. Reading aids brain development.

I could go on and on! It's the best thing you can do.

Op as a teacher I can tell you that reading to your children and with children in a way which builds a love of reading rather than a fear, as well as a level competence which enables your child to access education is one of the most important things you can do. Obviously, its not the only thing you can do but for some families who don't even do that, or even have books in the home the difference in achievement is very obvious. It's very hard for a teenager to keep up with the curriculum if they cannot access it.

https://literacytrust.org.uk/research-services/research-reports/children-and-young-peoples-book-ownership-in-2025/

For some children it is much more challenging, many get to their teenage years with a lower reading age than their age but at this point they just avoid reading. This children would still massively benefit from parental involvement and encouragement, maybe shared reading of a book.