To think you do have to do more than read with your child?

[areyousurre]

I’ve read a lot on here and other resources that all you should do with primary aged children is read to them / with them, and I suppose I’m questioning that a bit.

I’ve always read widely with my children but I’m not sure it’s made any real discernible difference in terms of language development or progress academically. And I now feel guilty that I haven’t done more!

I’d be interested in hearing what people honestly think. I don’t mean I’m going to stop reading to them but I do think I should be maybe doing more.

Oak @BlueMum16 .

@notsurewherenotsurewhy I don’t think it’s about hot housing. I suppose I just think reception is so important for getting that foundation right. If he doesn’t really understand one aspect of phonics it could be hard to catch up (and impacts confidence of course.)

They are learning a pattern of letters and sounds. I'm not sure Oak fits with Pan or reception sounds but ok...
Teach the letters. The blended sounds of 'oa' stand like an oak tree, still as statues, in the bath add a S and then soak them with a sponge. Or grab a coat and make a cloak.

It's about everyday reminders, fun. You do know fun? It's exhausting until they can read more themselves but it is worth it.

My adopted son didn't seem to understand what a book was for when he came to us. He was quite little but I think he had been given books as toys rather than read to and it took me a little while to get him into the rhythm of sitting and listening to a story and looking at the pictures together. I'm in no doubt that reading to him daily and then listening to him read several times a week once he started school has helped him.

Edited to add I do agree you have to do more though! We love being outside, spending time with friends and family, going to lots of different places etc etc.

I used to work in early years and the best thing I can suggest is finding a phonics game. One of the kids I worked with struggled with the phonics books as they were dull. So we used a game for him to learn the basics of decoding words. This meant he could then get through the boring books to something that held his attention a bit better. When I read to him he always chose the book, it was often a Pokemon/Superhero book (he had older siblings) and I'd get him to "help me" with some of the words. He was much more engaged with reading.

It's a long time since my children were your age OP but I don't think we did any formal educational activities beyond what the school asked for, which in Reception was basically reading and later on in primary school they'd have a few spellings to learn or a bit of arithmetic. But we did look for real life learning opportunities all the time. So things like in the Supermarket asking them to count items for me, in the train station, can you see the name of our destination on the board, count how many stops it is etc. Get them to read recipes and weigh stuff when you're cooking, work out times when you're travelling, count money and work out change when you're shopping etc. You can support the school curriculum at home by things like say they're learning about the Romans, get the relevant Horrible Histories book or find the tv programme, take a family trip to a Roman site if you have one near enough - museums and historical sites are often very child friendly and run educational activities that are really fun. But just involving your child in every day life helps them learn too, you don't have to sit them down with a book or a worksheet to be teaching them.

I said OK, not oak Shall we move on, as you do seem to be wanting to move the thread in a direction I don’t.

@MonsterasEverywhere I’ve seen those ‘teach your monster to read’ etc - not sure if they’re any good?

@AgeingDoc i think it’s definitely those activities (that the school asked for) I need to engage ds more with.

Ha ha. Ok makes so much more sense than Oak. I did read it twice to be sure what you'd typed 🤣

Threads go in multiple directions, with replies you don't want or expect.

I was only offering an opinion like everyone else. Take it or leave it.

Enjoy your Sunday.

There’s so much brilliant advice on this thread from teachers and education specialist of all stages. The message being loud and clear that reading is THE most important thing. So you are doing a great job by sticking with it, OP. Once DS has grasped basic phonics, a world of wonderful books will open up. In the meantime, there is nothing a child loves more than feeling successful. So celebrate his achievements loudly, even if it feels cringe - for example, if you have a DP, call them in to hear how well DS is doing. Find those boring 3 letter words in the outside environment and go wild when he correctly decodes them. Take heart that reading is the very best thing you can be doing for child’s education.

The only time I've done extra with my primary aged child, is when she's told me she didn't get something in maths - then we've practiced at home until it clicked. She has spellings to learn as homework with a weekly test - she always does well in that, so I don't feel the need to push that.

Other than that, it's just reading. Her reading to me and me reading to her. I think far too many parents give up on reading to their children too early. I read her a broad range of books, including children's classics, which use old fashioned words and a writing style that us different to modern children's books. I always ask questions to check comprehension and expand her thoughts.

We do go to museums, the theatre, play games and watch things like Horrible Histories. IMO, giving children the opportunity to find areas of interest is more important than tiresome, soul destroying worksheets.

I recently found one of my adult kid’s reading records from reception. It was full of comments from me saying “he didn’t want to read the book sent home, so we read one of his own books instead”. He wouldn’t engage with the phonic ‘pan’ ‘pat’ books, so we’d read them to him, try to point out the words, then just read whatever he wanted. We did read a lot of books though - he liked books but found the school readers boring. It worked out fine, there were times when he seemed a bit behind in reception, but he learned to read and became (to this day) the most prolific bookworm I know. I suggest reading what your child enjoys, even if it’s you doing all the reading. Insist they at least look at the phonic reader, if they’ll do it, but don’t stress over it if they’re really resistant. Also remember that the UK starts teaching reading earlier than many countries and it’s not the only way - we have relatives who didn’t learn to read until they were 6 or 7 - it took them about a week to grasp what my kids had spent a year on.

We read alot to our children from being Tiny babies until they were confidently reading by themselves. Even now as adults they are both bookworms.

Throughout school teachers told me that they could tell that they were avid readers due to their language and understanding when learning at school.

I didn't fully understand this until I started working in early years and can see for myself. The children who enjoy books have a vast vocabulary, comprehension and imagination compared to children that dont engage with books.

When our children were younger, We would also visit libraries, museums, have days out where learning was fun.even going food shopping is a learning experience,weighing fruit, counting tins, money. Children can learn inlots of different places.

Im not a fan of workbooks and worksheets as they do enough of that at school.

Reading with/to your child is so important. But there are so many other things you can do to help them educationally that’s not death by worksheet. Lots of chat. Lots of games. Music in the background. Writing postcards. Crafts. Good TV. Cooking.

The most useful thing you can do is speak to them like real people.

Use the vocabulary you would in everyday life and encourage them to ask for clarity when needed rather than dumbing down.

Discuss a range of topics and encourage them to ask questions, form opinions, make comparisons.

Share whatever interests you. People are most interesting when they are talking about something that they themselves are interested in. Let you kid see you as an interesting person.

I read to my child from birth, which led to her learning to read before she started school. At 7, the school said she had a reading comprehension age of 13. I've never done any work sheets or anything else with her (not that I can remember). She's 8 now and in top sets at school.

I read to my child from birth, which led to her learning to read before she started school

I think this is quite a commonly held belief that even if it didn’t directly lead to them learning to read, certainly give them an advantage. Mine have both been read to since birth. Neither can read yet.

Read to him as well. This is how he will access and experience books he is not yet able to read.

Apart from reading to my dd. I would use longer words she didn’t know in conversation, then add a quick explanation. Her language skills
were great.

We read to ours from birth too, all the time. Neither of them could read before starting school - recognising some letters yes, not reliably! We read to them and listened to them read for years and years. Tbh neither are “avid readers” now as teens - I would love it if they were, I am and was also as a child - but they’re great and have always got along v well.

Reading to them and listening to them read doesn’t guarantee “avid readers” and it doesn’t guarantee they’ll be ahead. But it does help them do better than they would have done without it.

Hi OP,

I would be doing three things to support their learning at this age:

1. Reading a bedtime story every night, or reading to them at another point during the day and listening to your reception aged DC read as often as you can.
2. Talking (and listening) - when I was a teen, I noticed that children who had parents who talked to them a lot always seemed really advanced and it always stuck with me. So when I had DC I did the same.
3. Having adventures - this could be anything. Going on walks, bug hunts, going to museums and galleries, going to parks, going to the beach, to theatres, to botanical gardens, to farms, aquariums, zoos, arboretums and so on.

Our DC got homework from year 2 - reading, maths, spelling and piano practise. Homework seems to be divisive on mumsnet, but we support it. I'd also encourage extra-curricular activities as they get older such as learning musical instruments, sports clubs, outdoor clubs and creative clubs. We're also fans of brownies and scouts, where they get to hang out with their mates and do loads of interesting stuff.

It sounds obvious, but talking to and interacting with your kids. I spoke to mine all the time, from birth onwards. Once they could talk back, I’d always be asking them questions, what could they see, what colour was it - counting stairs as we went up or down etc etc. As they got older, why they thought things were the way they were, how did they think it happened etc etc.
They both acquired language differently - firstborn was responding to prompts by 8 months (find the spider toy), speaking by 12 months ‘more’ in relation to food and by 18 months was speaking in short sentences and using works like helicopter/accordion/hippopotamus.
Younger one said almost nothing until 2, then sentences and complex words came very quickly after that.
They are teens now. Both bright, the older one is probably more naturally bright overall but the younger one is better at English and essay writing.

I think this is what I’m inclined to think - it’s interesting!

I think the thing is that children are complicated and it's not as simple as "I did the thing you're supposed to so my child should be top of the class". As you say, there are no guarantees

My kids are avid readers and I could put it down to having read to them a lot but equally my brother brings his kids up the same way I did and his kids don't read much at all. Some of it will just be personality

What I did with mine when he was finding the school books boring was to write my own. I picked characters he already loved (Zog in my son’s case) and then I wrote a story for my son to read alongside me. I read all the words he hadn’t learnt the phonics for yet, he read the rest.
It meant I could tailor the the story easily to his learning, eg if he was struggling with the “ee” sound I could include lots of those words. And because it was about a favourite character he was excited to read it!

I read loads to mine. They loved books and stories, but neither could read before they started school-in fact the one who turned out to be the more academic was late to read independently. And neither were “avid readers” One still isn’t -the other is now as a young adult.