To be confused as to why hiring a cleaner is seen as an indulgence?

[Gahr]

This is something that I see time and again on this site, and it is SO WEIRD. People seem to think that it is the height of luxury to have a housecleaner, and also seem to be strangely apologetic about it, offering disclaimers as to why they need one. Also, I've noticed that on threads when someone has a problem with their cleaning service, they will get several posts telling them to 'clean their own house'. Nobody would tell someone to 'service their own boiler' or 'fix their own toilet'! I don't understand it at all. I have a cleaner and I wouldn't be without her.

We have a cleaner and it is a luxury. Odd that you don’t see it that way.

I think the reason why a lot of people dont see it as a luxury is because its something that needs doing.
You dont really need your acrylic nails or your holiday.
Your house does need to be basically clean. So if you are unable to do that because of your working hours and multiple kids ir other caring responsibilities.. and/or because of a disability. Then it stops being a nice luxury and becomes a necessity.

Of course having a cleaner is a luxury if you are a SAHM with older kids at school and you could do it yourself but you just dont want to.
Yeah then that's a nice optional extra you could pay for.

If you actually NEED a cleaner its not a luxury is it?

Exactly. It's a basic IMO.

I have Netflix and amazon prime, both of which are often used as examples of things to save money on if struggling (we are not struggling so they earn their place as my luxuries)
However between them they probably cost, per month, less than 1 hour of cleaning. Im pretty sure no one would enlist a cleaner for an hour a month it simply wouldnt be worth it.

Everyone's luxury (or non essentials, if you object to the term luxury) budget will be different, starting from zero for people who are literally living paycheck to paycheck.
For a lot of people there will be some flex in their non essentials budget but that could mean anything from a Netflix subscription <£10/month upwards. (I imagine for most people youll need to spend £140ish+ per month for cleaning ,for it to make a difference)

That is a good way of putting it, and has been better than my rambling

Yep, if you need a cleaner, then it is not a luxury.

By that logic, a butler wouldn’t be a luxury because the door needs answering when someone rings the doorbell.

Its not the cleaning that’s viewed as the luxury, it’s the paying someone to do something that you’d otherwise have to do yourself.

To be fair, I dont know many people who have ‘time to themselves’ in the week. If you have a day off in the week while the kids are at school, you are generally doing errands/cleaning the house/laundry etc. Not disputing your reason for getting a cleaner in any way, but it is still a luxury even though it feels essential to you.

Most people with young kids get very little time to themselves. You have 3 so you must have known that with one child alone!

Not taking anything away from how busy you are, but there will be thousands of parents doing what you do without a cleaner or family support. OP asked the question is it a luxury and still can’t see that it is.

I need to pay my mortgage otherwise I will lose my house
I need to buy food otherwise we will starve
I need to pay for gas and electric and water otherwise they will be cut off

If i don’t pay someone to clean my house i just to do it myself

Who is a lost cause, a disabled person needing a cleaner? Really hope you don’t mean that.

I have read all of your updates and honesty can’t understand why you still don’t comprehend how having a cleaner is a luxury for some people, of course it’s a luxury, and a privilege to ge able to afford it and prioritise your mental health in this way. Some days I feel overwhelmed by everything that needs doing, think I need a cleaner to help me but then check my bank balance

i think you are being deliberately goady and obtuse to not acknowledge that it would be indulgence FOR SOME PEOPLE!!!!

No one should feel judged for having a cleaner for whatever reason.
Being unable to see past one’s own nose and situation enough to realise that it’s a luxury is astounding though. You are privileged if you can afford to pay for this service, no matter your background or reasoning, and you should learn to recognise this. You’re not coming across well on this thread OP. I still think this is a stealth boat on your part or you’re on the windup because I cannot understand how someone can be so obtuse!

No, I meant the Four Yorkshiremanning poster, not the hypothetical disabled person.

I am physically disabled, so am unable to do my own cleaning. I have had a cleaner for the last 20 years.

Many years ago when I worked full-time (with overtime) and also had three part-time jobs, my mum would do my cleaning. It helped me and was a bit of extra money for her (I paid her the going rate).

My DD works full-time in a busy industry, so in recent times she has also employed my cleaner. I think if you can afford a cleaner and it helps you out, then why not?

I’ve not seen the four yorkshireman thing, but are you talking to me?

One thing we know is OP definately has time to clean! I work most days of the working week, can clean my house, enjoy my kids, have leisure time at the weekend and put the washing machine on every day (and go on Mumsnet!)😁

OP says the cleaner does the washing - OP you definately have time to do the washing at least! 😂

Who is this then? You didn’t quote anyone when you made this post.

I don't care that I have the time to. I DON'T WANT TO!!!!

OP, you're absolutely not being unreasonable but people seem to value some luxeries over others when it follows a certain life script for some reason over "the norm". I get baffled over how people afford say, £25,000 weddings over apparently, the AVERAGE. I couldn't or wouldn't invest in that but it's seen as normal as well for one day as well as spending hundreds on other peoples weddings, pets, cars and so on. People can be "funny buggers" about spending any money outside of the tick boxes of how we're meant to spend it. Your choice is to not faff about with cleaning and pay someone else so you can free more time and helps your well being. This is good but sadly as a society, we're still backwards over respecting living a good life how we can and the flex is not to be seen to be lazy and hustle every moment of the day as a woman and just get on with the grind and the cleaning x

Honestly, there have been a couple, they meld into one.

I have been told many times by friends to get a cleaner. I prefer not too. I am a little old and no one could clean my house they way l like it. Also wouldn't like anyone in my house when we are all out at work, uni.& college. But each to their own, my son has a cleaner, she is very good, she even takes their dog for a walk....

You don’t have to? Who said you had to? Nobody.
OP: having a cleaner isn’t a luxury
everyone: well yes it is, but you do you.
OP: no it’s not! I don’t want to do it!
Waah Waah Waah OP.

Because it's a luxury most people can't afford.

It's not rocket science OP but you do sound incredibly entitled.

I agree about wind up post. There are lots of genuine posts whilst people feel a cleaner can feel more of an essential than luxury and I think most people can see other’s points of view.

As soon as I read the cleaner does the dishwasher, it’s a wind up or boast. I can’t think of any occasion over a decade where me or my husband have been unable to empty a dishwasher before work with every age our kids have been. We would need to be wiped out with flu and physically unable to walk to not empty a dishwasher (not happened yet).

OP is on the wind up…

What do you mean 'entitled'? What does that even mean? I can afford a service. That doesn't make me 'entitled'. Honestly, I don't normally jump to this, but I honestly think people are jealous.

Because it’s a privilege to pay someone to clean the toilet you’ve been shitting in, and you don’t need a gas safety certificate. FFS doh!

I consider it a brilliant skill to work and manage a home between us alone. Most people genuinely look at that in a positive way.

No one is jealous of anyone making goady posts about having a cleaner. If you can’t stick laundry on or do a dishwasher before work, i’d be worried about your time management skills in work 🫣

There are plenty of genuine posts about reasons behind having cleaners and yours definately doesn’t come across that way.