Would you bother with this man?

[Sunshine386]

Been on a couple of dates with someone online, however one was mid December, the last one was a couple of weeks ago. He couldn't meet over Xmas due to being busy, away and not very well. First one was a drink and second one was a coffee date, meeting half way location wise.

He does text me but hasnt asked me out again, and to be honest I don't reply for a few days because it's in the back of my mind that interested men who are looking for a relationship act more assertively than this and are trying to meet you once a week or something. I can't tell if he's just laid back, because he also does seem that way. I gave the benefit of the doubt over Xmas but to be honest I thought he would be trying to meet up with me sooner after the second date, but already two weeks have gone by and he hasn't asked again. Yes I know I could ask but I don't want something where I have to drive everything.

Would you ever bother replying to messages from this man or regard him as a time waster? Or I sometimes think, maybe men hold back effort of they think you are chilled and not that interested. I'm looking for something long term and also going on dates with others. I just don't want someone where every date is 3 weeks apart.

So you're game playing and expect him to react to the string pulling like a puppy?

Do women have any self respect these days?

Seems like neither of you are bothered with eschother... do you want a pen pal?

He probably thinks you aren’t interested because you take days to reply. Neither of you sound very interested so I’d just move on

I would mug it off. If he isn't even messaging etc and leaving it weeks he can't be that interested. Sorry OP XX

I think that if you’re having to ask the question, you know the answer.

Bin this one and chalk it up to experience. You don’t sound that bothered if you see him or not, and he’s not pushing for a date either.

Move on.

I don't think either of you are interested in each other by the sounds of it.

Being the one to suggest a third date if you want one isn’t you driving everything: somebody has to do the asking. But agree with others, neither of you sound very bothered about continuing this so focus your attention on other dates with other people.

Either engage properly or ditch. Games are just silly.

Agree with people I'm not seeming interested, but it's off putting when someone seems not too bothered/ laid back. A lot of guys are trying to find out when you're free again if interested aren't they

You don't sound interested in him. Dates 3 weeks apart would be fine for me in early days but if you even have to ask if you should bother then he isn't for you.

But surely he's thinking the same thing about you 😂
It's surely offputting messaging someone who takes days to reply?

If you’ve got to ask this question the answer is already no.

Doesn’t sound like either of you are that interested tbh.
I can’t be doing with silly games. If you want to see him again, ask him. It’s 2025 and you met online. Just say what you want, if he doesn’t match energy you have your answer

He doesn't seem interested.
If you like him give him a call and ask him out.
If you don't like him enough to do that, move on.

If you're after a lasting, successful, equal relationship then all this game playing and adhering to rules like you're a regency lady wanting to be asked to a ball is a poor start.

He's probably interpreted you taking days to respond as lack of interest, so isn't sure whether to ask you out again.

Do you WANT to see him again? Did you fancy him, have fun? If yes, ditch the games and just ask him out. If he dithers, you have your answer to move on.

Neither of you are interested in each other. Move on.

It works both ways, it’s not the 1950s. You don’t even need to ask him out, just stop playing games

You're both giving each other the impression of not being interested. So, it's either the slow-burner love story of the century, or it's time to just let it go. 👍

Is this what you actively want from a relationship? Confusion about whether he’s even interested? I don’t mean that harshly but honestly, if this isn’t what you want then don’t settle for it. Put this one down to experience and move on.

I can guarantee he isn't giving this the same headspace as you are!

If you think he's an interesting person / someone who you'd like to get to know better then message him and say you're interested, but it sounds more like you are interested in being pursued / validated than actually into him!

Honestly you both don’t seem that interested or you like to be chased or validated a guy likes you.

taking days to respond would be off putting to me and I would assume the other person is not interested, so I would put less effort in.

when I was dating and interested I would just say let’s meet again. It’s modern age where women have reuse rights. If you want to see him ask. If your nog bothered leave it.

If neither of you are that bothered, just tell him thanks but no thanks. If you met online, I'm sure he's chatting to other people to - that's kind of how it works. Playing games is just really immature.

If I was messaging someone who took 3 days to reply back, I’d assume they weren’t interested in me!

OP…grow the fuck up!

You haven't said anything about how the two dates went or what you like about him that explains why you're bothered he hasn't asked you on a third date.

I doesn't look like it's meant to be. Forget it and move on.