If your partner goes away for a jolly…

[ticketwoes]

Do they step up at home a bit more in the few days before they go?
kids are involved. Away with friends for a week.
step up as in offer a bit more alone time, do the odd school run to save you having to. That kind of thing.

AIBU to think that they should??

I don’t expect him to do more as he’s so helpful when he’s home. My DP doesn’t often get to go out and enjoy himself (our lives are quite full on) so I wouldn’t want him feeling stressed before a weekend away doing more than his lions share.

I was married to a man who travelled more than he was home and I never expected him to make it up to me. Actually, life was easier when he wasn’t around. I think rather than expecting him to offer, ask him to do whatever it is you want him to do. He’s clearly not picking up on your hints.

You make it sound as though OP is a " lady of leisure " for heavens sake.

I hardly think working part time, looking after a home full tine as well, and looking after children is an easy life. It's incredible hard work. And still very very undervalued.

You obviously are one of those who puts no value on anything other than paid employment. You don't see any value in the incredible contribution made by those who keep the home running and care for children. It's very very insulting.

Book yourself on a women’s retreat. There’s all sorts.

If he works full time and you never go away then he probably has no experience of managing everything without you.

He needs that experience- then he might think of doing things to make your life easier when he goes away. Also you need it :)

@NotAnotherScarf
Oh I have now seen that you are actually a man.
That goes way some to explaining your point of view point regarding the value of a woman and her contribution.

None of us do extra before going away, it’s not necessary.

Exactly affords you the luxury.

Us.
Not me.
I’ve offered to go back to work full time and we’ll split the home/child work load 50/50. He’s said he’d rather I didn’t.
I wonder why.

also, my working hours aren’t actually the topic of conversation here.

Whether I am male or not makes no difference. She could go away and leave him to do everything but chooses not to. I was raised by a strong woman with lots of sisters, but they accepted that if their husband was working 50-60hours a week, a lot fell on them re the home.
I have a tiny part time job where I work a max of 3 hours a day at most 4 days a week My wife works 20hours a week but her mum is her late 90s and my wife runs a charitable organisation one day a week so I cook, clean, wash up etc....because she's doing other stuff that's important. The op works part time, her husband works "long hours" to facilitate this, she doesn't ask for time off but he's off for a bit...

Also, just to pick you up on something else you’re wrong about - i haven’t ’not asked for time off’
For the last 4 YEARS I have pointed out that I would like him to give me time to myself and pick up some of my slack before he goes away and I pick up all of his. I’ve been vocal on what I would like to happen.

I do wonder if some people on here live in the 1950s with these comments.

OP works part time in order to take on the bulk of the caring responsibilities in the home, which NEWSFLASH is draining and hard work.

Nobody is saying her DH doesn’t work hard or deserve time away but banging on about him affording her the LUXURY of working part time when she has in fact got majority of the caring responsibilities as well as working part time is just like ugh!

Anyway, OP YANBU a kind thoughtful partner would most defo go the extra mile to make sure they could cover a few extra bits before they go and make your week a little bit easier. It’s called teamwork and you deserve that.

The op works part time, her husband works "long hours" to facilitate this,

This is just downright offensive.
It feeds into the narrative that looking after a home and caring for children is fun. That it is not hard work. And is not worthwhile.

Before my DP goes away I expect them to help with things they might miss before hand. So if they are away during school time, I expect them to help reduce the weight on me by making sure school uniform is sorted, taking bins out etc. I dont think I should have to carry the can of double responsibility while they are off having fun!

He doesn't offer to step up or give me more alone time, I just take it and leave him to work out what's going on. The kids will tell him if he doesn't know.

My DH doesn't unfortunately however I do get equal time on 'jollies' and theres no exoectation for me to step up housework and childcare in those instances. So I've left it like that.
I do personally think in an ideal world you'd have everything a bit more sorted for the person who was caring fir the kids alone whilst you're gone.
I used to do that before I realised I wasn't going to get it in return