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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not have sister and her autistic child (nephew) in my home.

1000 replies

BetUWanna · 29/01/2026 17:27

Hi all,

I'll try and give as much detail here with trying to remain anonymous. I've NC for this as this will have outing details in it. I'm here to ask for some genuine advice and opinions on a current situation with my family. I'll try not to drip feed so this may be long.

i (30F) have an older sister aged 33. She is my half sister with us sharing 1 parent.
she has 2 children, 5 and 11, one who is autistic (diagnosed) and the other is NT. I also have a 4 year old myself.
She was young when she had her son who was diagnosed autistic when he was 8. I want to preface that she is a single mum, with both kids having different dads, so I'm not saying for a second that this is easy for her at all. I genuinely love her with my whole heart, but our relationship is suffering hugely due to her son's behaviour. She came to stay for Christmas at my home for 5 days. Some of the instances that happened over Christmas:
We were playing board games in the lounge, my nephew said he was going to watch his iPad. I had a Christmas tree at the top of my stairs, and while we were playing games he picked off each bauble individually and threw each one down stairs and most of them smashed to pieces. There was glass everywhere and there were little children who could have hurt themselves.
he picked up one of the pillows on the bed he was sleeping on, took it to the bathroom and peed on it. Left it there for me to find it. He ate his Christmas dinner with his bare hands, slapping gravy over his face and genuinely making a mess. He picked up a glass, launched it across my kitchen which ultimately chipped my wall and smashed. He refuses to use any sort of cutlery whatsoever. He refuses to brush his teeth, to the point he has black, rotted teeth at the front of his mouth. He's apparently been to the dentist and it's 'fine.' He hits, kicks and pushes my sister and the younger children including his younger sibling. I'm worried about my niece who has to live with this and the effects this is having on her. I have offered countless times for her to sleepover at mine with my DD, but it's declined each time.
He scribbled over my walls and regularly went outside to pee in my garden.

He is incredibly intelligent and my sister says he is high functioning, but i don't know if this is accurate. He is home educated and goes to his dad's house every other weekend. My sisters house is clean, he doesnt wreck things in his house, but if someone comes over his house he will start to lash out and misbehave. He will call us names and tell us he hates us.
I am worried for my sister as he is aged 11 and the same height as me, she cannot control or restrain him at all as he is just too strong. She has had training / classes for this but he is too strong. There is no respite for her. My relationship, and the whole families, is suffering now. We don't want to go to her house because he will lash out, mainly at her. We don't want him at our houses, because he trashes the place and can, at times, cause danger to other family members. What is the answer? My sister works hard home educating her children, and works part time when they are at their dads.

I can see this whole situation is isolating her from the outside world as she lives in fear of her son. I want to offer support, but aside from being a listening ear, I don't know what else I can do. I unfortunately won't allow him in my home now, as I have to keep my DD safe and I will not allow her safe space to be compromised. Which means my sister and niece don't come over, as they are always together.

can anybody please advise me on how / what I can do? Will this ever get better? She won't call out his behaviour as she is too frightened of him, which I understand. But it's straining our relationship hugely.

my relationship with my sister is hanging on by a thread. She has other friends and family members but they all seem to be in the same position as us which is isolating her further and resulting in her losing friendships. I am heartbroken for her. Please can anybody share any words of wisdom or any advice. My parents are in the same situation as me, they cannot cope with his behaviour in their home and their house has also been trashed over the years.

ultimately this is a disabled child who is being gloriously let down by the system.

thank you.

OP posts:
Gagamama2 · 30/01/2026 08:55

You sound like a compassionate person. I too would not have your nephew in my house in your situation. I would meet up in neutral places (farm parks, playground etc) instead until the situation improves.

has your sister tried to find him appropriate education outside of the home? If not I feel sorry she is becoming isolated but it’s all her own doing. While I understand the benefits of homeschooling (have researched a lot into it for my own children, and did homeschool for a year when they were little) it’s not always the best solution. The younger sister sounds like she could do with some time away from the autistic brother. And the brother sounds like he could do with the structure of somewhere specialist. I would talk to your sister and ask if she is waiting for a placement for him somewhere?

homeschooling works when you have a network of other families to homeschool with and the means to do lots of trips outside of the house. If you have a child who is anti social / doesn’t like new environments then homeschooling becomes extremely limited. I assume he isn’t getting much socialisation if he behaves like this at other people’s houses? A specialist school environment would give him social interactions with other children and teachers, and learning opportunities, without having to go into new environments all the time.

Having said all this, your nephew and niece are not your children, and your sisters life is not yours. While upsetting to see, there’s not much you can do about it if your sister refuses to look at other options besides what she is already doing. Perhaps she is happy in her own little isolated family bubble? Could she be autistic too? Maybe she feels that working part time gives her enough social interaction without having to socialise on her free time as well?

liamharha · 30/01/2026 08:56

BetUWanna · 29/01/2026 17:27

Hi all,

I'll try and give as much detail here with trying to remain anonymous. I've NC for this as this will have outing details in it. I'm here to ask for some genuine advice and opinions on a current situation with my family. I'll try not to drip feed so this may be long.

i (30F) have an older sister aged 33. She is my half sister with us sharing 1 parent.
she has 2 children, 5 and 11, one who is autistic (diagnosed) and the other is NT. I also have a 4 year old myself.
She was young when she had her son who was diagnosed autistic when he was 8. I want to preface that she is a single mum, with both kids having different dads, so I'm not saying for a second that this is easy for her at all. I genuinely love her with my whole heart, but our relationship is suffering hugely due to her son's behaviour. She came to stay for Christmas at my home for 5 days. Some of the instances that happened over Christmas:
We were playing board games in the lounge, my nephew said he was going to watch his iPad. I had a Christmas tree at the top of my stairs, and while we were playing games he picked off each bauble individually and threw each one down stairs and most of them smashed to pieces. There was glass everywhere and there were little children who could have hurt themselves.
he picked up one of the pillows on the bed he was sleeping on, took it to the bathroom and peed on it. Left it there for me to find it. He ate his Christmas dinner with his bare hands, slapping gravy over his face and genuinely making a mess. He picked up a glass, launched it across my kitchen which ultimately chipped my wall and smashed. He refuses to use any sort of cutlery whatsoever. He refuses to brush his teeth, to the point he has black, rotted teeth at the front of his mouth. He's apparently been to the dentist and it's 'fine.' He hits, kicks and pushes my sister and the younger children including his younger sibling. I'm worried about my niece who has to live with this and the effects this is having on her. I have offered countless times for her to sleepover at mine with my DD, but it's declined each time.
He scribbled over my walls and regularly went outside to pee in my garden.

He is incredibly intelligent and my sister says he is high functioning, but i don't know if this is accurate. He is home educated and goes to his dad's house every other weekend. My sisters house is clean, he doesnt wreck things in his house, but if someone comes over his house he will start to lash out and misbehave. He will call us names and tell us he hates us.
I am worried for my sister as he is aged 11 and the same height as me, she cannot control or restrain him at all as he is just too strong. She has had training / classes for this but he is too strong. There is no respite for her. My relationship, and the whole families, is suffering now. We don't want to go to her house because he will lash out, mainly at her. We don't want him at our houses, because he trashes the place and can, at times, cause danger to other family members. What is the answer? My sister works hard home educating her children, and works part time when they are at their dads.

I can see this whole situation is isolating her from the outside world as she lives in fear of her son. I want to offer support, but aside from being a listening ear, I don't know what else I can do. I unfortunately won't allow him in my home now, as I have to keep my DD safe and I will not allow her safe space to be compromised. Which means my sister and niece don't come over, as they are always together.

can anybody please advise me on how / what I can do? Will this ever get better? She won't call out his behaviour as she is too frightened of him, which I understand. But it's straining our relationship hugely.

my relationship with my sister is hanging on by a thread. She has other friends and family members but they all seem to be in the same position as us which is isolating her further and resulting in her losing friendships. I am heartbroken for her. Please can anybody share any words of wisdom or any advice. My parents are in the same situation as me, they cannot cope with his behaviour in their home and their house has also been trashed over the years.

ultimately this is a disabled child who is being gloriously let down by the system.

thank you.

Autism is a spectrum it's not one size fits all .
I have 3 kids DX ASD, 2 of them I could take to someobody else's home,the other one I would sooner stick pins in my eyes than take into another persons home .
I do think your nephew would benefit from a Sen school if your sister can get him one I also think it will benefit her massively aswell ,it will also allow her to access outside support as her life is probably really challenging.
What she dosent need is a load of armchair psychologists and parenting experts telling her what poor and neglectful parent she is .
Really if you havent had a high needs SEN child sit this one out ,it's brutal and the support and solutions that many of you think is just available at the click of fingers is not there .
Social services likely won't do anything as he is clean and fed and sister is meeting his needs .
As he's home educated the LA will be doing regular checks to ensure he's recieving a appropriate education in a appropriate environment .
We went through a brutal time with our 7 yr old last year where we asked school to do a ss referral as her behaviours where affecting the household and our other children alot they didn't even visit as as where meeting need.
Remenber also you have only seen a snapshot of your nephew when he's been taken out of his home environment at Christmas this will have a massive impact on his behaviours .
Also autism is sometimes the reason for this behaviour,,yes many ASD kids don't behave like this but some do .

Breadcrumbtrail · 30/01/2026 09:03

All autistic people have differences in their social communication and interaction, their flexibility of thought, and their sensory systems, compared with NT people. If you do meet those criteria and it impacts your daily life you will receive a diagnosis. If you don't, you won't.

@DrRuthGalloway
Differences in sensory systems/experiences are not part of the diagnostic criteria for autism afaik.

Elderlycatparent002 · 30/01/2026 09:04

Breadcrumbtrail · 30/01/2026 08:55

OP’s nephew wasn’t diagnosed until he was eight and this is common in high functioning children with (as is very likely in this case) no speech delay.

Early intervention is usually much earlier than this, preschool age.

Often it’s when these ‘high-functioning’ children get older or start struggling in school that their difficulties become more apparent. DS was also diagnosed aged eight.

There was no early intervention.

This was not due to neglect on my part, though I admit if I had been an autism professional I may have recognised the (in his case subtle) signs sooner. However most parents are not experts pre-diagnosis. His teachers noticed nothing btw. As I said it becomes clearer as they grow older. He is very much set apart from peers now (in his teens).

In fact the diagnosis of this age-group is often delayed because the system does focus a lot on 2/3 year olds to be able to give them the early intervention advantage…so if you’re a child who’s a little older (eg six) you don’t go to the top of the list. We had to go private in the end as the public system was taking so long.

Edited
Show quote history

Absolutely this.

The only thing I disagree with is that you could have had him diagnosed sooner. I work professionally in this area and knew as certainly as I could my child was autistic, aged 3 (the signs were there but he was verbal). Despite this, it still took until age 7 for a formal NHS diagnosis.

Lmnop22 · 30/01/2026 09:12

What did SS say?

Moosiemoo14 · 30/01/2026 09:13

Breadcrumbtrail · 30/01/2026 09:03

All autistic people have differences in their social communication and interaction, their flexibility of thought, and their sensory systems, compared with NT people. If you do meet those criteria and it impacts your daily life you will receive a diagnosis. If you don't, you won't.

@DrRuthGalloway
Differences in sensory systems/experiences are not part of the diagnostic criteria for autism afaik.

Edited

I would like to gently correct this as someone who recently went through the ASD diagnostic process - sensory differences and reactions are considered as part of the criteria re: restrictive and repetitive behaviours and interests. A helpful explanation here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/diagnosis/assessment-and-diagnosis/criteria-and-tools-used-in-an-autism-assessment

OP I hope the call to SS goes well today. It matters particularly for your niece that you have reached out to others and are taking action.

Criteria and tools used in an autism assessment

Information about the diagnostic criteria used for an autism diagnosis and the tools used by the specialist team carrying out the assessment.

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/diagnosis/assessment-and-diagnosis/criteria-and-tools-used-in-an-autism-assessment

DrRuthGalloway · 30/01/2026 09:15

Breadcrumbtrail · 30/01/2026 09:03

All autistic people have differences in their social communication and interaction, their flexibility of thought, and their sensory systems, compared with NT people. If you do meet those criteria and it impacts your daily life you will receive a diagnosis. If you don't, you won't.

@DrRuthGalloway
Differences in sensory systems/experiences are not part of the diagnostic criteria for autism afaik.

Edited

Yes, it's true that they aren't part of the triad/dyad,
But they are assessed in ADOS, and the 'restricted and repetitive behaviours' of DSM often incorporate self soothing or sensory seeking or avoidant behaviours.

Criteria and tools used in an autism assessment https://share.google/lOEGjD5pu0MgUtsiO

ETA - cross posted with poster above!

ForEdgyHare · 30/01/2026 09:17

OP you sound very caring but I would be making a call to your local duty team at social services.
Rotten teeth is medical neglect.

Original poster
BetUWanna · 30/01/2026 09:18

DrRuthGalloway · 30/01/2026 08:48

@Miashu "Autism is a collective term for a group of neuro divergent experiences and behaviours; it isn't a set disorder"
Sorry, that is not true. Autism is a defined condition. The criteria are available in DSM5 and ICD 11 and diagnosis must be according to these criteria. All autistic people have differences in their social communication and interaction, their flexibility of thought, and their sensory systems, compared with NT people. If you do meet those criteria and it impacts your daily life you will receive a diagnosis. If you don't, you won't.

You are correct that there are no fixed outcomes in autism. However behaviours that are driven by autism are usually ascribable to those areas if difference. For example a young person being anxious if a supply teacher is in the class, because they don't know them, their expectations, their teaching style etc. is ascribable to communication differences and executive function differences.

If you read further in my post I wonder whether some of these behaviours could be impulsive ADHD type behaviours and enquire whether this has been considered. I struggle to reconcile the idea of sensory differences which could drive a small autistic child to explore baubles in this way with a "high functioning" 11 year old. It could be behaviour that happens in meltdown of course, but DC apparently said he was off to play on his iPad and was sidetracked into this destructive play. That sounds like an impulse control issue to me, more linked to ADHD or AuDHD or parenting (does he know that this is inappropriate? Was he seeking a reaction? ). Of course I don't know this lad, we do only have OP's word for it, so it's only a musing opinion for OP to consider as part of a wide range of opinions on this thread.

I assume I am the "Dr" you refer to in your post? It's a user name. It's a character from a series of novels I like, and the character is a forensic archaeologist. If my user name was 'theQueenofEngland' would you assume I am the actual Queen?

You have been incredibly helpful on my thread, thank you.

OP posts:
Breadcrumbtrail · 30/01/2026 09:20

Moosiemoo14 · 30/01/2026 09:13

I would like to gently correct this as someone who recently went through the ASD diagnostic process - sensory differences and reactions are considered as part of the criteria re: restrictive and repetitive behaviours and interests. A helpful explanation here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/diagnosis/assessment-and-diagnosis/criteria-and-tools-used-in-an-autism-assessment

OP I hope the call to SS goes well today. It matters particularly for your niece that you have reached out to others and are taking action.

Show quote history

Yes, you’re right. My apologies. It’s been a while now since DS’s diagnosis and they weren’t taken into account for him (at least officially, though there was a discussion about it). Glad to see things have changed!

Breadcrumbtrail · 30/01/2026 09:24

DrRuthGalloway · 30/01/2026 09:15

Yes, it's true that they aren't part of the triad/dyad,
But they are assessed in ADOS, and the 'restricted and repetitive behaviours' of DSM often incorporate self soothing or sensory seeking or avoidant behaviours.

Criteria and tools used in an autism assessment https://share.google/lOEGjD5pu0MgUtsiO

ETA - cross posted with poster above!

Edited
Show quote history

Yes, my apologies, I got this wrong.

Original poster
BetUWanna · 30/01/2026 09:25

Update: I've made the call. I called my local authority but I needed to do it under where my sister lives so was signposted to there. I felt incredibly torn and had a lump in my throat through out, but I raised my concerns to them, stating there are 3 vulnerable people in the household and specifically spoke about my little niece. I asked to remain anonymous. They asked if I wanted to be contacted again and I said I was open to it as long as I could be anonymous.

I just feel so fucking sad. She is my sister and I love her. I adore my niece and I do, despite what I've said, have love for my nephew despite not being able to bond with him just for now. Hopefully.

I have an email address for me to send screenshots of conversations over which I will do, I just feel like it's a huge invasion of privacy for my sister but something has to be done now. I desperately want to have my little niece for a weekend. I desperately want to see my sister get help and to see stability for them all. I'm new to all of this and I don't know what will happen or if, at all, she will get any help. But at least I've done my thing. The parent we share has also toyed with reporting over the years so I will tell them what I've done in strict confidence.

does anyone know what's likely to happen after this? They said they will do a risk assessment and look into this but apart from that they couldn't tell me much more.

i could genuinely cry. Thankfully I have annual leave today and Monday just to process this all and have some time out. Something she and my little niece really needs. Some fucking time out.

sorry for my swearing. It's an emotional subject for me and I'm starting to realise that I can't save her. I wish I could.

OP posts:
HappyFace2025 · 30/01/2026 09:29

BetUWanna · 29/01/2026 18:13

I have since retracted the statement. I assumed that because I see it written on here all the time but I'm evidently trying not to blame her. But it's clear to see that she isn't helping herself in this situation and has nothing to do with the professionals.

I don't know the process of being diagnosed with autism, that after diagnosis then that's it, you're left to your own devises.

Show quote history

You aren't left to your own devices after an autism diagnosis if you are in the system IE at school which your nephew is not. I'm glad you are involving social services now as the children are being neglected even though your sister doesn't see it that way. My DGS is autistic as is my son in law. DGS is in mainstream school but his mental ill health is very poor. His angry episodes led to him going to karate which helped massively, also climbing.

cocog · 30/01/2026 09:30

Go and visit her take her coffee offer help and offer day trips for little one this situation will be effecting her too. Tell your sister she’s doing a great job seems like she’s having a really rough time. He can’t cope staying away from home his behaviour was him being overwhelmed. lots of autistic kids struggle with Christmas staying over Christmas didn’t work for him I wouldn’t do this again visit them at there home next Christmas maybe he could cope with a few hours sister probably needed it though and niece. She needs family support she’s not actually getting any breaks at all as she’s working while the kids are at dad’s houses and homeschooling she must be exhausted.

Original poster
BetUWanna · 30/01/2026 09:32

Gagamama2 · 30/01/2026 08:55

You sound like a compassionate person. I too would not have your nephew in my house in your situation. I would meet up in neutral places (farm parks, playground etc) instead until the situation improves.

has your sister tried to find him appropriate education outside of the home? If not I feel sorry she is becoming isolated but it’s all her own doing. While I understand the benefits of homeschooling (have researched a lot into it for my own children, and did homeschool for a year when they were little) it’s not always the best solution. The younger sister sounds like she could do with some time away from the autistic brother. And the brother sounds like he could do with the structure of somewhere specialist. I would talk to your sister and ask if she is waiting for a placement for him somewhere?

homeschooling works when you have a network of other families to homeschool with and the means to do lots of trips outside of the house. If you have a child who is anti social / doesn’t like new environments then homeschooling becomes extremely limited. I assume he isn’t getting much socialisation if he behaves like this at other people’s houses? A specialist school environment would give him social interactions with other children and teachers, and learning opportunities, without having to go into new environments all the time.

Having said all this, your nephew and niece are not your children, and your sisters life is not yours. While upsetting to see, there’s not much you can do about it if your sister refuses to look at other options besides what she is already doing. Perhaps she is happy in her own little isolated family bubble? Could she be autistic too? Maybe she feels that working part time gives her enough social interaction without having to socialise on her free time as well?

Thanks for your detailed post.
she has never (that I know of) attempted any care or education setting. She believes a lot of conspiring theories and has a very tough childhood. She only came into my life when I was a young teen, we didn't know she even existed but that's another tale for another time. So we only get her account on what happened and I will always believe a woman unless given a reason of doubt.

the neutral places would work but she does live far away from everybody sadly. But I think it would be something im willing to do.
I have offered countless times to have my niece for a long weekend but she won't allow it. I think but this is just an educated guess, is that if my niece stayed with me for chunks of time she may get an insight of what 'normal life' looks like. She will get peace and quiet, a bedroom to sleep in (her own room as she shares with her brother) she would get calpol if she was sick and she would be in a calm quiet environment that she'd share with my daughter. It's only an educated guess and it may be because my sister just wants to be with her kids all the time. She may be happy in her bubble but this is sadly to her children's detriment.

OP posts:
Original poster
BetUWanna · 30/01/2026 09:37

cocog · 30/01/2026 09:30

Go and visit her take her coffee offer help and offer day trips for little one this situation will be effecting her too. Tell your sister she’s doing a great job seems like she’s having a really rough time. He can’t cope staying away from home his behaviour was him being overwhelmed. lots of autistic kids struggle with Christmas staying over Christmas didn’t work for him I wouldn’t do this again visit them at there home next Christmas maybe he could cope with a few hours sister probably needed it though and niece. She needs family support she’s not actually getting any breaks at all as she’s working while the kids are at dad’s houses and homeschooling she must be exhausted.

I can't unfortunately. She lives hours away from me and she will always have my nephew and niece. She only other time she doesn't have them is every other weekend and on those days she works very long shifts.

I don't think she's stepped foot in a coffee shop for many years. She won't take my nephew there.

OP posts:
PinkyFlamingo · 30/01/2026 09:42

BetUWanna · 29/01/2026 17:35

I think it's a mixture of parenting failures and professional failures too. But I agree.

Show quote history

What professional failures do you mean, What's happened as you say you feel he has been let down by the system?

Breadcrumbtrail · 30/01/2026 09:44

I desperately want to have my little niece for a weekend.

I don’t know of course but I think your sister may be struggling with the fact her two children are being treated differently by relatives. I know it’s with the absolute best of intentions on your part, but she may see it as one of them being offered a treat while the other is being left out iyswim. And this might be a stumbling block she is finding hard to overcome?

My NT children are sometimes offered outings (by relatives) that their ND brother is not (because he couldn’t cope). It is very hard, emotionally, to see him being left out even though it’s nobody’s fault really. And I know it’s good for the others as they miss out on things we can’t do as a family because of their brother’s disability.
I know this but it’s still very, very hard to see one of your children being treated differently even when it’s necessary.

ETA If I’m being honest there’s a bit of jealousy in there too. I want to be the one treating my kids, bringing them to place x, y or z I know they’d love. I want to be the one seeing their faces light up and I often can’t be there.
Don’t underestimate how hard this is for your sister OP. Small steps might be the way to go re your niece.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 30/01/2026 09:45

Bonkers1966 · 30/01/2026 08:15

That doesn't sound like autism. Certainly not so called high functioning. Call child services before he puts his sister in the hospital.

Actually it sounds exactly like an autistic meltdown. a physical, uncontrollable reaction to a nervous system "shutting down" due to environmental stress, pain, or anxiety.

Original poster
BetUWanna · 30/01/2026 09:46

PinkyFlamingo · 30/01/2026 09:42

What professional failures do you mean, What's happened as you say you feel he has been let down by the system?

Edited
Show quote history

I have answered this so may times. Please read my updates.

OP posts:
Slightyamusedandsilly · 30/01/2026 09:49

HappyFace2025 · 30/01/2026 09:29

You aren't left to your own devices after an autism diagnosis if you are in the system IE at school which your nephew is not. I'm glad you are involving social services now as the children are being neglected even though your sister doesn't see it that way. My DGS is autistic as is my son in law. DGS is in mainstream school but his mental ill health is very poor. His angry episodes led to him going to karate which helped massively, also climbing.

Show quote history

It is very hard to get support actually. I am in a physical support group of about 20 families, all with children with mid to severe SEN. Run by a woman who started a charity to help support families specifically due to the LACK of support by the official systems that should really be doing it.

The problem is, these official systems are massively overloaded and as a result, it is very very hard to access the support. I have listened to accounts of families being physically harmed by growing, near adult DC with various SEN. Really, these children need to be in some sort of institutional setting even at least part of the time. The families I know are fighting for this support. But it is so hard to access due to lack of space.

travailtotravel · 30/01/2026 09:54

I think it's time to stop home educating and try and get him into some kind of school provision - it will be a hideous transition, but this child needs more support than your sister can realistically offer. The structure and routine may help longer term. It will definitely help her other child. If the "system" doesn't know about a child, it can't do anything to support the child or family.

rockingroller · 30/01/2026 09:56

BetUWanna · 29/01/2026 21:52

Why should his disability trump the safety of my child in her own home?

please try and answer that too. I'd love to know.

Show quote history

Ignore the trolling OP. Obviously you can't have a dangerous destructive individual in your home with young children around.

SaySomethingMan · 30/01/2026 09:57

Have you and your parent ever chatted to your sister about getting in some help for her and her children? Sorry if you’ve responded to that.

Her life seems so difficult and together with the dad, they have ended up failing herself, her son.
Its a shame you’ve had to go behind her back ( not said to make you feel bad), but hopefully she will get the help she needs. You’ve done your bit to protect her and the children now.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting to use calpol btw. Plenty of people prefer natural methods of treatment but engage appropriately to support their children.

Can you have your niece over on her own for some weekends?

MimiGC · 30/01/2026 10:01

This sounds like a very tough situation for everyone. My main question is what is the boy’s father doing to support his son? He needs to step up big time, as every other weekend is clearly not cutting it. You probably don’t know, but I would be interested to hear how the boy behaves while he is with his father. It may be he needs to spend more time with him, which would give your niece some respite.

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