Friends asking for their money back

[Nicolasaa9]

Hi, I am not even sure if this is the right place to post this, but I really need to vent.

My two closest friends and I planned to go to an event together. I live in London, one friend is in Hertfordshire and the other lives up north. We agreed to book it in Leeds, get a hotel, and make a proper girls weekend of it, especially as the friend up north is usually the one travelling south.

Both friends have now said they are too unwell to go. They asked me to put their tickets up for resale, which I have done, and have also asked me to pay them back for their share of the hotel even though I am still going.

The hotel is non refundable, and I used around £200 of my own points to book it. There was an extra £60 to pay, which I asked them to split between them at £30 each, which felt fair given the points I used.

They are now asking for that £30 back. I am still going because I have wanted to see this event for ages, but it means driving four hours to something I could have reached in ten minutes on the tube, and spending the weekend alone.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling this is unfair

Jeez these people are your friends? Disgraceful! Points are still money paid that could have been used elsewhere. I agree with PPs - say actually I've decided I don't want to go alone. So given hotel room cost me £260 and you've paid £30 each you now owe £70 more each, given none of us are able to go now as you two have dropped out, which means I will lose £200. Hopefully that will help them get it. If not and they're still whinging I'd struggle to stay friends with them.

You should keep any funds from selling the tickets, if they do sell, to offset your costs on travelling and the hotel! Cheeky buggers.

This friendship is over really, but I'd pay them back and if they ever suggest anything like this again, ask them to do all the admin/paying. Or just say no.

They are right tight cheeky fuckers. I'm sorry OP.

"as regards the £30 you asked for, I will happily give you each one third of any refund from the hotel" which is nothing

"The room is not refundable. I've already subsidised you by using £200 of my points that I could have used for a family trip, so I'm afraid I won't be refunding you, or this room will have cost me £290."

Might they change their mind when they realise nothing is refundable and that the tickets didn’t sell?

It's one of those isn't it? How poorly are they? If it they had an all-expenses paid holiday to Greece, would they catch the flight?

This thread is the final straw that I need to get off this site - why on earth would you pay them, for what? I’d love to book hotels. Holidays. Hair appointments and two days before cancel and get a refund. I mean in what world!?!?

I would be sending them a message like this! Your points have a value that have lost because of them. If their tickets sell, I would be keeping the value of my points before only refunding them what’s left after that.

Unless you booked everything without checking costs etc with them (which sounds highly unlikely) YANBU.

If you don't want to just say a simple 'No', you could tell them you've looked in to cancelling the hotel so you can sell your ticket too, but it's completely non-refundable so there's no way to get the money back for them.

I wouldn't be booking anything with them again

Just be clear the hotel was non refundable, therefore no refund available.

If you call the hotel and explain your 2 friends have cancelled, see if they can you downgrade to a smaller and cheaper room and get a refund for the difference?

How is THIS thread the final straw for you? Have you even read any of the others? Have you seen what some people can do with a single chicken?

@Silvers11 "I also wonder if you had only been paying for yourself at the outset, would it have cost you less? I'm assuming that you paid for a room big enough for 3 of you to sleep in, rather than individual rooms, given the price you are quoting?"

I understood it that OP could have gone to the gig local to her anyway, so no hotel costs incurred for her, but agreed to go elsewhere so that all 3 of them travelled to some extent, to equal it all out!!

The more I read, the more irritated I'm getting with these so-called 'friends'!

I think my question here is why are you having to do the donkey work to sell the tickets? They can't go - they should be trying to do that and you just need to facilitate it? Don't cave on the £30 either! Good luck!

yes.... You paid for a large portion of it in points... which everyone knows are not refundable.

Do they somehow think you are going to use 3 beds in the hotel?
No.
Therefore they owe you for the cost of their 2 beds.
How can they not see that?
It's irrelevant whether you used points or money. They owe you!

This is a classic case of it being better to get the money from the friends before booking and not to use those precious points in a situation like this. If this had happened I highly doubt they’d be feeling poorly right now.

Ask them for their full shares of the hotel cost and if they refuse then bin them off. They should be selling their tickets, not you.

OP what event is it? Maybe someone on here would be interested in going to it with one of the additional tickets (doesn’t help your hotel problem though).

I’m sorry your friends let you down, that really sucks. I think that is really hurtful, but to ask you for a refund of the £30 each on top of that is really taking the piss. They definitely aren’t thinking about the fact you were saving them money by using your points, or that you could have used those points for something else if they hadn’t planned to go to this event with you.

I’d be tempted to reply and say “just to clarify, you want me to pay you two for the “privilege” of now going on my own to this event, in a location that was picked for YOUR convenience, for a hotel room that wouldn’t have cost me as much if I’d booked it for just me, or wouldn’t have needed at all if I’d been going closer to home had I known you were both going to flake on me at the last minute”.

Do they have history for flaking or is this a first? That would determine whether I put flake or cancel in the message.

It's not the OP's fault.. its the CF friends and I think its good to have a sounding board like this when people are pressing you. She knows its not right, but its good to get opinions which might help her strengthen her argument.

Posts like this one wouldn't make me leave. I've found them helpful insights in the past when similar situations have cropped up.

Dear CF friends.

You are more than welcome to phone the hotel on xyz number and see if you can persuade them to refund you.

They can't help being ill, so that is the hit you have to take.

Your friends, in their turn, should accept that they have to take the financial hit of cancelling, too. It is crazy that they think you should absorb the cost to them of cancelling.

I hope you manage to enjoy the event, regardless of the circumstances.

Cheeky fuckers! They are very lucky to only be losing £30. What part of non refundable do they not understand?

I will laugh if their tickets don't succeed in being resold. Will they ask you to pay them back for those too? Thank god you got the money from them earlier because it would be blood out of a stone otherwise.

Good for you deciding to go anyway, I hope you enjoy it and am glad your points wont be wasted. If I was the friend I would feel mortified about letting you down, not whining about £30 and a "bad leg" ffs.

The hotel is non refundable, and I used around £200 of my own points to book it. There was an extra £60 to pay, which I asked them to split between them at £30 each, which felt fair given the points I used.

I think I have read all the posts, but not sure I saw this point made.

I think you need to translate the 200 points into cash equivalent. I'm not sure that 200 points = £200 cash but for the purposes of this point, I will assume so.

Therefore the total cost was £260/3 = £86.66 each or so. You have £30 from each of them which you keep, of course, and they should now be paying you the balance they owe i.e. £56 odd each.

This way you have some money available for your own use, and haven't unnecessarily used all your points.

They are really horrible people, I'd find it hard to continue the friendship after this.

This