Friends asking for their money back

[Nicolasaa9]

Hi, I am not even sure if this is the right place to post this, but I really need to vent.

My two closest friends and I planned to go to an event together. I live in London, one friend is in Hertfordshire and the other lives up north. We agreed to book it in Leeds, get a hotel, and make a proper girls weekend of it, especially as the friend up north is usually the one travelling south.

Both friends have now said they are too unwell to go. They asked me to put their tickets up for resale, which I have done, and have also asked me to pay them back for their share of the hotel even though I am still going.

The hotel is non refundable, and I used around £200 of my own points to book it. There was an extra £60 to pay, which I asked them to split between them at £30 each, which felt fair given the points I used.

They are now asking for that £30 back. I am still going because I have wanted to see this event for ages, but it means driving four hours to something I could have reached in ten minutes on the tube, and spending the weekend alone.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling this is unfair

I think the bigger question to ask yourself is are you usually so manipulated, put on and used to part funding and babying these “friends”?

I’d send a text and simply state that the hotel is non refundable and let them know that you will give the ticket money if the train tickets resell once the money goes into your bank account.

its not £30 , its £60 that you’d be paying out of your own pocket.

If they want to be financially covered when illness changes their plans they need to buy travel insurance. If they didn’t, it’s not on you.
If you were my friend I’d be offering something to compensate you for the wasted points too.

They are both being mean asking you to cover their "illness"

you already subbed them on the hotel and now they will have to take the hit and lose the £30 and get them to sell their own tickets cheeky buggers

I am really not very well off and I would just have left the money under the circumstances - I would not expect you to pay it back. If you weren’t going, none of you would get your money back, so I’d think at least you’re getting to use it.

Not your fault they can't make it. Just say no.

I think next time keep your points, split the cost three ways, and remember money is money, whatever form it is in.

They're letting you down, there's no way you should pay them their share regardless of if you use the hotel or not.

Actually years ago I booked a summer abroad with a friend and we split the cost of the accomodation for three months. She had to pull out and didn't ask for a single penny back as she knew she had let me down, which looking back, I feel she did the right thing- even though people pleasing me protested and offered her some compensation.

Even though the booking is non-refundable, have you asked the hotel if there is any flexibility? Perhaps they could move you to a smaller room and allow you to put some points towards another booking.
I’ve done this before and got significant refunds I wouldn’t have been entitled to. The key is being very clear that you know you are not entitled to anything but if they can help you at all you’d be grateful.

dear friends, the hotel is non-refundable and same price whether it's all of us or just me. So are you basically asking me to pay you for not showing up?

Jesus, you think they’d be grovelling with apologies.

CF’s you shouldn’t have mentioned the points and split the cost 3 ways. No way are they getting a refund! You’re essentially out of pocket having contributed more for a room you no longer need to be that size. It doesn’t matter that it’s points rather than cash

Horrible friends, they should be feeling so bad for letting you down that they give you one of their tickets so you can bring someone with you.

You were already subsidising them - they would have been losing about £86 each on the hotel but you’ve helped reduce that to just £30. At the very least I’d say they each owe you a drink next time you go out as a thank you (if there is a next time).

Also I think it’s clear they discussed this before approaching you. So more likely one decided not to go so the other thought if they aren’t going neither am I. Don’t sound like a big loss if you end up falling out

They’re not being very good friends OP. They’re showing you that you’re not a priority and that they are happy to let you down.

You’re already subsidising them by using your hotel points - which DO have a monetary value.

I’d consider both of these point before committing to anything with them in the future. I’d also be assessing whether they value your friendship as much as to do theirs.

I would be asking them for a refund of the £80 (minus £30 paid) they should have each contributed towards the hotel costs.

They sound like shit friends. I'd be mortified to leave my poor friend travelling specially from London to Leeds and staying over and me not meet them as planned.

Is the hotel a fancier one than you otherwise woukd have got because using points? I can't believe they asked for £30 back. I'd never speak to them again.

Because they are the ones cancelling, they should split the hotel cost and refund you in full for your share and they should manage and take responsibility for the ticket resale, and refund you the full price you paid if they don’t get that back on resale. If you are feeling extra nice you could offer to cover 1/3 of the hotel and take the loss on the ticket resale if there is any.

Where are you selling the tickets? Is the event sold out?

Can you definitely not change the hotel booking in any way? Dates? Location?

Is this a friendship you want to maintain? Not sure I could be bothered to be friends with people who would do this to me.

In any case I would point out to them that you are paying for a hotel only because you were going with them. Otherwise you could have gone in London with much less hassle. The least they can do is reimburse you the little bit they had committed to paying (you were already subbing them as your points aren't "free" as you could have used them for something else).

I'd try ringing the hotel and begging them to allow you to cancel - offer to pay a penalty.

Are you sure the points are non refundable if you cancel the hotel room? IHG would return the points to the account if the booking was cancelled (although it is a little while since I worked for them). It might be worth checking.

You could then potentially try and sell your ticket and go locally instead.

But otherwise, tell them to jog on!

They're taking the piss. When is it, the weekend? A cold is likely to be better by then, or at least improved to the point where she can take paracetamol/Lemsip/whatever and be OK. A bad leg… how bad? I mean, I don't know what sort of event it is, but I've seen people at exhibitions on crutches and/or leg in a cast. If you want to go to something you generally make it work, unless you're genuinely laid up and in traction or something.

I think this happened too. I just get the feeling. They’ve been planting seeds in our group chat over the few days about being poorly so when they actually said they weren’t going it didn’t look so sudden.

It’s not “only” £30 because you are now incredibly inconvenienced by it. It could mean more in taxi fares etc for you as well. Don’t give them anything back

If you make any profit from their tickets selling then keep it haha