Neighbour just rung doorbell at 2.30am!

[greywolfie]

I'm now wide awake and fumming. She rung twice so I opened the front bedroom window as I worried it might be an emergency. Women stood there on her phone in tears and I thought - oh, she could need help.
My husband is on his way down to.open the door.
Then she says...."my cat is in your garden"
I mean - FFS!
I said "well your cat will get out of our garden"
"Really?"
"Yes. If your cat is still in our garden in the morning we will bring it back"
Shut window.
Husband then opened the door and she started telling him about the damn cat- I yelled at him to shut it.
He wanted to go out and get it but I said that was mad and would encourage the over protective cat mother to do it again in future.
For reference, we have 2 elderly cats that very rarely scale the fence. One night one got over very late and was struggling to make it back (we have stuff by our fence that would've also helped her bloody cat up, if he cared - but their side is just the bare fence). I was a bit worried but would NEVER have rung their bell in the middle of the night! About an hour later our old lady regained her energy and made it back.
AIBU to go round in the morning and point out you don't ring people's doorbells for this reason? It's batshit right?

The fact that she was young and distressed ? Ostensibly it was about the cat but she was clearly desperate or she wouldn’t have knocked at that time. We can’t know what’s going on with other people - she may have been under other stresses and this was just the catalyst (no pun intended) for her distress. Yes, that’s not OP’s business but a little care and concern wouldn’t go amiss. I hope OP isn’t in need of help from her neighbours any time soon. You know what they say about Karma.

Once again, no cat is going to let a random man pick them up, so what is the point of going out in the garden at 2.30am in subzero temperatures? What's he meant to do, lasso it?

If you can't handle the fact that your cat will like to wander around the neighbourhood then you shouldn't have a cat.

If you cannot understand that a cat who gets into a garden can then get out of a garden, then you shouldn't have a cat.

If you are knocking the neighbours awake at 2 am and 5 am over a car, then you definitely shouldn't expect "kindness"

I think the OP was very considerate. I'd have told her to FO home and wait for the bloody thing.

No, what do they say about karma? my best friend's 6 year old son recently died unexpectedly - was that due to karma?

Do tell me what she must have done to deserve karma like that.....

OP didn't help because it was an outdoor cat doing normal outdoor cat things. There was also no need for empathy too because it wasn't an actual emergency, it was just a cat.

DH was fast asleep again within 5 minutes so clearly wasn't actually that concerned about going to 'help' either.

What would the help involve anyway? Chasing a cat around the garden in the cold in the middle of the night? Fuck that. There's a reason why I don't have cats.

My neighbours are so dodgy I wouldn't let any into my house id be in garden looking for her cat whilst im being robbed, she doesn't know her apart from she lives close by. We sadly don't live in good times.

I don’t know my neighbours behind me that well. To be quite frank, if they were ringing my doorbell at 2am, crying because their cat was in my garden, I’d assume they were on crack. And dangerous. Very worrying behaviour.

and I bet the neighbour didn't give any of that a second thought before disturbing OP at 2am.

So OP should show concern and care despite the fact that the neighbour didn't show any for her? She has no idea of what's going on in OP's life either.

And we come full circle again in not knowing the full situation. Again, caring once doesn’t have to mean allowing it every time. You can care at the initial (and unprecedented) incident and still put the boundary down going forwards.

You can, but you don't have to at your own expense at 2.30am. And 5am.

I still disagree that #bekind isn't used on here to mean "To everyone all the time."

If someone on here posted that she knocked on at 2am and the woman who answered yelled at her because she has a newborn she'd be told to #bekind to a sleep-deprived mum.

What the fuck? The neighbour wasn't being kind or thoughtful knocking on her door at 2.30 in the morning, how does she know the OPs alarm wasn't going off at 5am for work? I'm sick of all this "be kind" bollocks it's usually used as an excuse for someone to get away with shitty behaviour...

The last time DS woke me up in the middle of the night I was thinking thoughts not fit to be uttered! He's a toddler though, so gets a free pass. Someone banging on my door at stupid o clock in the morning for a damn cat will get told to fuck off, and I'm usually very polite.

Firstly, it’s all one incident when OP has not been bothered by neighbour at all before this.

Secondly, OP posted after first knock only - ‘fuming’ and shouting orders at her husband. So subsequent knocks aren’t relevant.

I am. She said: ‘Husband then opened the door and she started telling him about the damn cat- I yelled at him to shut it.
He wanted to go out and get it but I said that was mad and would encourage the over protective cat mother to do it again in future.’

She simply didn’t want her husband to help.

Anyone else want to know the cats name and see a photo 😆

Helping someone in distress is quite often done at your own expense. It will always take time, energy and effort to extend that. People shouldn’t only ever help others if it’s of optimum convenience to them.

If someone on here posted that she knocked on at 2am and the woman who answered yelled at her because she has a newborn she'd be told to #bekind to a sleep-deprived mum.

There’s no point fictionalising a completely different scenario where the only likeness is a 2am knock on the door.

If he had really wanted to help, he would have.

Since he was sleeping again within 5 minutes, it sounds like he wasn't that bothered either.

Though I'm still waiting to hear what the 'help' would've looked like at 2am in the dark with a cat who didn't want to be caught by its owner, never mind a stranger.

With respect, and my deepest sympathy for your friend, what on earth has this got to do with OP’s situation ?

I have quite literally said many times, to have asked the neighbour why specifically she was so upset.

It’s good that her husband did what he wanted to do despite OP trying to shout him down.

Explanation given at 5am for anxiety was:
Cat is anxious
Cat doesn't understand gardens

Didn't know that at 2am. This information was disclosed at the 5am visit :)

Yep. And all my points are about 2am knock, not 5am.

I think you need to read all my posts then as you're getting wound up about stuff that didn't happen.

I have thank you. And I’ve followed the timeline accurately.

If I was woken at 230, and someone ‘popped around’ with chocs, guess what? I’d still be at work, exhausted.