Visiting friends’ freezing cold houses

[Lardychops]

Yet another evening visiting a friends’ house for a mid week catch up natter and couple of drinks, 7.30-10pm type affair. Absolutely fucking Baltic with no heating on Went to the loo, radiator like ice not even warm from maybe having clicked off at 8.30/9pm
Home warming up in bed.
Baffling as this seems to be the case with loads of our friends - all not short of a bob or two, nice holidays, homes, cars etc especially as half of us grew up with sod all and often joke about our relatively impoverished upbringings by today’s standards ( myself included which is why I hate hate being cold at home)
I mean, even at my skintist as an adult with a young family, making sure the meter was plugged with 50p’s so the flat was warm for visitors would have been a given

After having grown up with chilblains in winter as a kid I just don’t get the freezing cold house thing when it doesn’t have to be.

Totally with you - hate it and wouldn't dream of it - would be devastated if my guests were cold. Makes you less keen to visit doesn't it??

I wasn’t rude enough to keep my coat but utterly miserable
these are people that would give you the shirt off their back but there is a trend of tightness around not putting the sodding heating on I’ve noticed
soooo uncomfortable and as you say it makes you not want to go over as not relaxing x

Perhaps your friends when they visit your house find it too warm?
Perhaps if you are the only one of all your friends that find their houses cold it's a " you" problem.and not a " them " problem?

I suppose it depends what temperature you're used to versus them. We turn our heating up for hosting. We usually have it set at 18 for us, but appreciate some like it warmer and I'd hate to think our guests are cold. My dad has his thermostat at 22 but the house is very different to our house, where 19 has the same effect.

I hate being cold, as my arthritic fingers and toes really hurt. #LifeAndSoul

I’d probably do something mad if I went again like take my own hot water bottle and sit clutching it wearing a stoic look on my face.

When it was really cold I was working from home more due to ice and my office being closed. I kept pouring the heating up (dh wfh normally) and dh did comment our bill will be higher. I made it clear I couldn’t care less and we’ll make savings elsewhere but I will not be cold in my own home. He didn’t argue thankfully.

We once stayed with a friend and she popped an oil heater on for 15 minutes. She was skint but it was -4 outside and not far off inside. We slept the night and I wore a hat and dh’s ski gloves. It was bad. I was trying to work out how I could give her money without her feeling like charity (we weren’t rich but I would have given her £50 just to give us heat).

in short - op in with you.

Maybe they can’t afford to heat their house to the same temperature you can .

why don’t you just wear more clothes ?

I grew up poor and cold, so heating is the one luxury I don’t want to go without. It doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, only £60 per month (averaged per year) if I keep my thermostat 18 degrees downstairs, 19/20 upstairs. I can easily afford to turn it up higher, but I’m trying to find the right balance between being comfortable and not being wasteful.

All my friends have more money than me and, with one exception, they don’t really put the heating on much. I have concluded that they don’t feel the cold. Or perhaps there’s a psychological thing about not spending money on things you can’t see/ experience (as they have no trouble spending money on expensive dinners or nice clothes). I can’t get my head around why a couple whose combined earnings is several hundreds of thousands per year don’t spend £100 extra per month (on top of their regular bills) to warm their home. So I have to assume they don’t mind the cold

Our house is pretty chilly but we have a big open log fire in the sitting room. IMHO modern houses lack a focal point of warmth to gather around for congeniality.

That won't warm your face and hands. Being freezing is horrible.

It was Baltic
I know what Baltic feels like but yes fair play I guess that’s how they like it

I worry about this because I like my house cold and belt on gas fire etc for hours before I expect visitors to compensate. But if they just turned up they wouldn't be comfortable.

Next time, wear lots of layers. I recommend a strappy vest, then a t-shirt, then a thin cardigan, then a fleecy jumper and a fleece jacket or a big thick jumper on top, with a coat on top of that. If necessary, keep the whole lot on while you're there.

in our skint days in order to keep the house warm and not have the kids suffer the freezing interminable nights I remembered as a child, we happily had beans on toast /jackets potatoes/ veg stew and all the Spanish peasant food I grew up with as well as taking any extra hours going work wise for higher bills in the winter months.
I simply did not ever want me or the kids wear three layers in bed and hold onto a wee for as long as poss hating the idea of getting out of bed.

Sitting socialising having a chat and a drink while really cold means not really being present as too uncomfortable and stiff
not enjoyable x

If I have guests over I would want them to tell me if they’re cold, I have no issue turning the heating on. The problem with me is, when I’m hosting I get very hot just moving around that I don’t realise it’s cold! We had relatives over at the weekend, I did a lot of cooking before they arrived and then setting up the dinner table and serving them, I was hot, the heating was off. I heard my husband ask them at one point if they’re cold, they said no. It’s only when I saw my sil putting a blanket on her legs that I realised my god she’s cold! I felt terrible! Bc I would hate to be in a house that’s cold. I straight away put the radiator as well as the electric heater on. I usually have the heating going before anyone arrives, but this time I was doing so much stuff around the house that I didn’t feel the cold at all. I wouldn’t mind at all if they told us they’re feeling cold.

As I said in in OP they are not short of a bob or two
Both professionals, we are all off to Costa Rica in the Spring

For me it’s my back - seizes up xxxx

I think I would have had to keep my coat on. I can’t bear the cold. It’s worse in someone’s house, when you’re likely to just be sitting around. At least outside you can go for a brisk walk to warm up!

People really do experience temperature differently, though. I am often uncomfortably hot in other people's houses. I do ask my friends if they are cold and have some supplementary heaters on standby

Are you dressed for winter? I haven't had any heating on here today. It's not that cold out, I'm properly dressed and have been moving about doing some jobs (which makes a huge difference) but I'm on the sofa now and it's not cold.

For me, lots of people over heat their homes, which I find really uncomfortable.

Interesting observation to be fair ..

Jeans, t/ shirt , jumper , socks, trainers ..

Coat and scarf while out

Senior Social worker, working full time with 4 kids still at home and grandkids duty also so I’m in /out /up down running around like a blue arse fly - plenty of ‘moving about’ that is to say

I have to say that -pulling out the big guns a bit I suppose -as a SW I know a cold house when Im in one

I'm on blood thinners which make you feel colder and I've always felt the cold even before I started on them. My ex husband used to call me a lizard🤣. So when people come to my house they definitely never are cold! We also got triple glazing in a few years ago which helps a lot.

all the Spanish peasant food I grew up with
Does this mean you also grew up in a warmer climate than the one you live in now OP?

Yeah it sounds like heating was off-off! I run hot and hate overly warm spaces, but they sound unreasonable. Ice cold radiator means hasn't been on in hours. Very bad for their house as well, could get damp 😑