Visiting friends’ freezing cold houses

[Lardychops]

Yet another evening visiting a friends’ house for a mid week catch up natter and couple of drinks, 7.30-10pm type affair. Absolutely fucking Baltic with no heating on Went to the loo, radiator like ice not even warm from maybe having clicked off at 8.30/9pm
Home warming up in bed.
Baffling as this seems to be the case with loads of our friends - all not short of a bob or two, nice holidays, homes, cars etc especially as half of us grew up with sod all and often joke about our relatively impoverished upbringings by today’s standards ( myself included which is why I hate hate being cold at home)
I mean, even at my skintist as an adult with a young family, making sure the meter was plugged with 50p’s so the flat was warm for visitors would have been a given

After having grown up with chilblains in winter as a kid I just don’t get the freezing cold house thing when it doesn’t have to be.

I’ll raise you ‘cold house and big lights on’. Went to someone’s house warming in December and it was misnamed as their house was freezing. Was an evening thing and people had come in party clothes as it was near Christmas and were freezing in their shirt sleeves and dresses. The ‘house warming’ joke was made more than once.

They also had the bright white powerful ceiling lights on in every room. So unpleasant. Maybe they decided they wanted an early night and it worked because we all went home early.

You can’t make everyone happy all the time, but generally speaking 20C is considered room
temperature and is a safe bet. It’s not entirely subjective.

Yanbu. If they can afford holidays they could afford to heat their house. I wear thick tracksuit bottoms, socks and thermal vests to other peoples homes these days. Being cold makes my IBS really bad.

My heating is whirring away even at this time of night. My room is 22.6 and I could be warmer.

I have a friend like this. When a house is so very cold it doesn't matter how many layers you wear --- you are still cold.

I used to stay overnight with my friend as it is too far to go there and back. Even in bed I have never had so many clothes on and still felt absolutely freezing!

It has now got to the point that I just can't stay there anymore as I can't cope with the cold, so I choose to stay over in a hotel instead.

YANBU. Especially if it’s a “shoes off” household. Hosts sit there in their slippers and fluffy socks, you’re there in standard socks or tights with your toes turning blue and the draught whistling round your ankles! 🥶

What a bizarre thing to say 🤔 I'm not British but all my friends and colleagues are, they're all very much avid fans of heating their homes - entirely unsurprisingly.

Yes there's been some eye opening threads!

My heating is set to 18.5C and sometimes I even find that too hot, and I don't wear a million layers inside. Just jeans and a jumper over a t-shirt. Normal socks and those cork footbed slippers the youngsters wear. I'm mindful I'm running hot so when we have guests, it's cranked at 20C and my jumper is off 😬

I have a vague recollection that when I was younger I possibly walked past someone’s thermostat in a situation like this and twisted it a bit. In hindsight that wasn’t the best move, but it didn’t cost as much back then either.

My ex-MIL didn’t feel the cold so very rarely had any heating on. It was always absolutely freezing in her house. To the point where if you went round for dinner, your food would be stone cold before you’d eaten half of it. It was bloody miserable.

I feel the cold quite badly so my flat is set at 20 degrees minimum all day and I’ll often be sat with a heated throw over me as well. I’ve got a duvet, weighted blanket and a throw on my bed and still wake up cold some nights.

I have a mate who has the boiler turned off (so no heating or hot water) it's a small flat and on the top floor but my God it's freezing in there. She does it for environmental reasons, but if I'm going round I usually bring an additional jumper so I can put it on when I take my coat off. Tbh though I usually meet her somewhere else these days!

Where as I am incredibly uncomfortable in overheated houses.

I would assume that they are keeping the heating off for a reason, and if visiting again, take a lovely long chunky cardigan and a large fine woven wool scarf (to cover lower legs & feet).
If comments were made, I would just say that for some reason, I’m really feeling cold at the moment, so wanted to make sure I could layer up if I did…

£60 a month? Are you kidding? It costs me £60 a month just for standing charges and to keep the WiFi, fridge and security cameras on. If I had the heating on 18°, my bill would be around £10 a day.

What were your hosts wearing? If they were just in normal indoor clothes including a jumper and looked comfortable they probably genuinely don't feel it like you do. Did you say anything? I would always happily turn the heat up for anyone but I'm not good at judging how other people feel.

OP do you have a Victorian house? We have a big draughty victorian house and it costs a fortune to heat. Seriously. Our gas and electricity is £4-600 a month as a minimum. One month last winter was £770 for gas. And our kitchen is still 15c a lot of the time. Don't assume they are not putting the heating on or not spending, they easily might be.

Also agree with PP that people wildly overheat their houses. My PIL have their house constantly heated to 23c or more and complain all the time about how cold it is while everyone else has stripped down to their vests and is sweating. It's bizarre.

Sounds like you could do with a thermal vest and socks.

We have relatives like this. They’re both working adults with good careers, lovely 4 bedroom new build house that should be relatively efficient for heating and yet it’s freezing cold. No only that they have stark white LED lights so it’s literally like sitting in a fridge. How anyone can live in such a cold environment is beyond me.

Oh there’s nothing worse than sitting in a friends house cold, it’s miserable. We have friends that set their thermostat to 15! If I say I’m cold they tell me it isn’t because the heating would come on if it was less than 15degrees! I refuse to take the kids now as it’s not pleasant at all. They have a dog and I always feel so sorry for it as it must be freezing. My friends are very overweight do I guess they just don’t feel the cold.

If it’s freezing stop going round, meet at a nice warm pub instead.

I have a friend who I don't actually visit in the winter because her house is so cold that you can see your breath- I invite her to mine instead. She has plenty of money- her Dad passed away 4 years ago, leaving a sizeable inheritance. She doesn't work but claims PIP. Her outgoings are tiny.
The house is damp and smells musty all year round. The guttering is broken and water pours down the side of the house, and her garage roof has fallen in. But she won't pay out to get it fixed.

Maybe they wanted you to go home 😂.

Did you say you were cold? I'd have asked to borrow a cardigan or thow.

Reminds me of one Christmas Day at my ex IL's house with our very young children and exH saying to his mum 'I know you don't like to have the heating on but please, it's Christmas Day and it's actually warmer outside!'

Is that a joke? You're not seriously suggesting someone should need to wear six layers inside?

When the house is that cold and you are having drinks, think like a Slav and hit the vodka to keep warm.

I pay £60 per month for heating (gas). Electricity is another £60. This is averaged over the year, I obviously pay more in the winter, less in the summer. Three bed terrace, 2 people.
I do have a 3 years old combi boiler, so perhaps that makes a difference

Maybe they needed the cue of a coat?

If there's one thing I've learned on here it's that a lot of people genuinely don't realise they're at an extreme end of the temperature spectrum. People do have really significant preference variations, both ways. I could not bear my central heating to be 22 degrees for example, but I've learned from here that it's not an uncommon preference.