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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Visiting friends’ freezing cold houses

139 replies

Lardychops · 28/01/2026 23:27

Yet another evening visiting a friends’ house for a mid week catch up natter and couple of drinks, 7.30-10pm type affair. Absolutely fucking Baltic with no heating on Went to the loo, radiator like ice not even warm from maybe having clicked off at 8.30/9pm
Home warming up in bed.
Baffling as this seems to be the case with loads of our friends - all not short of a bob or two, nice holidays, homes, cars etc especially as half of us grew up with sod all and often joke about our relatively impoverished upbringings by today’s standards ( myself included which is why I hate hate being cold at home)
I mean, even at my skintist as an adult with a young family, making sure the meter was plugged with 50p’s so the flat was warm for visitors would have been a given

After having grown up with chilblains in winter as a kid I just don’t get the freezing cold house thing when it doesn’t have to be.

OP posts:
Oftenaddled · 30/01/2026 17:54

RegalDiamondMonster · 30/01/2026 08:54

I used to live in a country where the government decided only the northern half was allowed central heating. When I lived in the southern half i bought a small electric heater- but I remember visiting a friend's parents in the countryside a few hours away for a few nights. I have never been so cold!

Everyone wore coats inside- i was only warm in bed (eventually), in the bath, and when we cycled to play outdoor table tennis. It was a real wet, damp kind of cold as well.

What country was that!?

Polyestered · 30/01/2026 18:42

For those saying there cold memories from wooden flooring ?! I though (newish, as in not draughty Victorian) wooden floors were on the warmer side, compared to tiles or laminate for example?

Netcurtainnelly · 30/01/2026 19:08

A good host should ask the guest of they are warm enough.

MrsLizzieDarcy · 30/01/2026 19:23

We just keep our boiler on all the time over cold spells but on low so it never gets too hot or too cold. The thermostat is in the hall which is very cold and draughty due to the house design (think deranged 1980s architect) and if that's around 18c then the rooms themselves are likely to be a few degrees warmer. I did have a Gro Egg for when the grandkids were little to make sure it was around 20c in their rooms.

It's bloody rude to invite visitors into a home that you're not heating.

oscallah · 30/01/2026 19:34

I'd tolerate it the first time only, and I'm pretty sure eventually I'd say something like " Jeez Anne, it's bloody freezing in here, anyone else cold or just me, is the heating on?" We can say those things to good friends we are comfortable with. However no house I visit or drop in to is ever Baltic either!

I wouldn't meet them at theirs anymore, I'd suggest going to a coffee shop instead. BTW what were THEY wearing?

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 30/01/2026 19:37

I have two sets of friends who like a cold house. We have banter about it. They put the heating on for us now!

shellyleppard · 30/01/2026 19:38

Op my dad is the same. Won't put the central heating on unless its really really really cold -5 or lower. He keeps a log burner going 24/7 when its really cold. If I go and visit I have four layers on.....🥶

Ponderingpondering · 30/01/2026 19:58

I’m interested in the spanish peasant food recipes 😉 Agree about cold homes !

CrazyCatLady13 · 30/01/2026 20:41

A family member has a cold house, it's a 3 storey Victorian. She can't afford to keep it warm. We're used to it now and layer up, with a fake oodie on top & take slippers. It's worth it to spend time with the family 😊

RampantIvy · 30/01/2026 20:49

CocoChunnel · 29/01/2026 01:07

Its a British thing. Not putting the heating on makes them happy/proud

It's a mumsnet thing. The competitive underheating threads are ridiculous.

DH has poor circulation and is on blood thinners and feels the cold dreadfully. The thermostat is set at 20 degrees in our house.

I wasn’t rude enough to keep my coat

I don't think it is rude to keep your coat on if it is cold. I just don't function when I am cold and if someone hosting me kept their house so cold that I needed to keep my coat on the rude person is the host not the guest.

My sister and SIL have cold houses so we just don't visit them in winter.

Lardychops · 30/01/2026 21:25

99pwithaflake · 30/01/2026 08:41

Of course it’s not irrelevant - I’m not going to sit in my own house at a temperature that makes me feel unwell.

Well then you are a shit host (and you know that )

OP posts:
RegalDiamondMonster · 30/01/2026 23:01

Oftenaddled · 30/01/2026 17:54

What country was that!?

China. They were lovely hosts but didn't seem at all bothered by the cold, not sure what more they could've done anyway. Keeping coats on indoors in places south of the central heating line divide was normal, in schools as well.

Oftenaddled · 30/01/2026 23:04

RegalDiamondMonster · 30/01/2026 23:01

China. They were lovely hosts but didn't seem at all bothered by the cold, not sure what more they could've done anyway. Keeping coats on indoors in places south of the central heating line divide was normal, in schools as well.

That's fascinating, thanks - I had no idea

Lardychops · 30/01/2026 23:21

Ponderingpondering · 30/01/2026 19:58

I’m interested in the spanish peasant food recipes 😉 Agree about cold homes !

Okay for me and what typical week would look like historically-

Take a whole chicken -take the breast off and cube and fry with peppers , tinned toms, bay leaves, thyme paprika ,onions , garlic and carrot , tom puree , splash vinegar , rice and water and splash olive oil to make chicken and rice - this is not paella it’s ‘arroz con pollo’ -chicken n rice.

With the remaining carcass with legs intact , boil in loads water , an onion , carrots, stick celery,, and an 2 inch of chorizo ring (save the rest) for an hour. Strain and save 2/3 the stock separately. Then in the existing stock strip the carcass of the chicken , chop the carrot n onion and the chorizo put all back into the stock. Reboil and add a handful of broken spaghetti or crushed pasta per two people till cooked then crack in an egg or two per person with a splash of olive oil of you have it. Eat with bread

Fry some thinly sliced potatoes and onions Take spinach or any greens you have, fry in with lots and lots of garlic (save half if this in a Tupperware) now and add some chick peas and paprika and some of the chicken stock you saved earlier in the week. Crack in some eggs and mix in. Eat with bread and tomato salad.

With the pots and greens you saved make a tortilla with lots of eggs another couple inches of chorizo finely chopped if you want to and serve with tinned tuna salad

using all most of all remaining stock make a butternut squash soup with as much squash as you can , onion and carrot and lots bay leaves and garlic , have this Spanish style as a ‘first plate ‘ followed by a slice of fried meat and a sliced tomato with salt and olive oil - if can’t afford meat a one or two egg omelet per person as a ‘second plate will suffice OR the left over tortilla from day before

Lentils/butter beans/chick peas and Chorizo- final bit of stock left simmer with fried onions, green pepper, carrot, garlic, bay leaf, thyme, smoked paprika, green lentils, rest of chorizo ring, cubed potatoes the beans, splash vinegar, all the olive oil you can spare, bacon rinds if have them and then let the magic happen
eat with bread

Pisto
Fry onions, peppers, garlics, courgette and aubergine
then addd tom puree and tinned tons or pasata , splash vinegar , stock or water, bay leaf and lots salt
cook down
eat with boiled rice and fried eggs
or meat/fish on the side of can afford it

Migas
Roughly hand chop /grate chunky breadcrumbs - wet with water and make very damp but not soggy
fry chorizo, few slices Jamon ( use bacon if easier) and peppers and whole garlic in olive oil and smoked paprika
add the breadcrumbs and slow fry for ages constantly moving until the moisture in the crumbs dries out and the dish comes together deep red and unctuous
-eat with fried eggs on top chopped in and grapes on the side of you really want to be authentic

there’s more but that what my kids grew up
on

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