Visiting friends’ freezing cold houses

[Lardychops]

Yet another evening visiting a friends’ house for a mid week catch up natter and couple of drinks, 7.30-10pm type affair. Absolutely fucking Baltic with no heating on Went to the loo, radiator like ice not even warm from maybe having clicked off at 8.30/9pm
Home warming up in bed.
Baffling as this seems to be the case with loads of our friends - all not short of a bob or two, nice holidays, homes, cars etc especially as half of us grew up with sod all and often joke about our relatively impoverished upbringings by today’s standards ( myself included which is why I hate hate being cold at home)
I mean, even at my skintist as an adult with a young family, making sure the meter was plugged with 50p’s so the flat was warm for visitors would have been a given

After having grown up with chilblains in winter as a kid I just don’t get the freezing cold house thing when it doesn’t have to be.

No heritage food -grew up in the West Country

And feet
it really is x

pretty much what I wore when we all climbed Snowdon last year

Yes that will happen as well as mould which is a whole other issue I work with at work
it was off/ off
just don’t get it- loadsa dosh, Ice cold

Woolly tights under jeans really helps, plus socks on top, as well all the other layers PP suggested. But really, it's bad manners of them to expect guests to freeze, or not to at least enquire if people are ok, so I would have had no issue in putting my coat back on or asking to borrow a fleece, blanket etc.

YANBU….we live in a house much smaller than what we could push to afford. Happy to be the peasant with only one guest room…so can heat the house. However, if you and your “friends” are doing “I have the biggest house”, “I’ve the best decorated” YABU

We have our house at 16, that’s how we like it.

I would have agreed with you, but last time I read a thread on Mumsnet about this in transpired people were regularly heating their houses to 23+ degrees.

I would consider that far too hot, but if that were your preference you may find my house too cold.

I think people do have genuinely different temperature requirements.

Its a British thing. Not putting the heating on makes them happy/proud

Jeans, t/shirt, jumper, socks, trainers.

But that might not be winter warm. My ex visits ds and whines about being cold but in January he wears a cotton shirt, jeans, a super-thin lambswool sweater and thin cotton socks. What does he expect? He refuses to wear anything warmer.

I dress for winter, thermal long sleeved t-shirts, a thick Shetland sweater, jeans, fluffy wool socks. Ds17 hates being over-warm so I adapt to ensure we are both comfortable. Our heating is off during the day unless it's freezing.

I turn it up if friends visit though. Different people have different preferences.

This^ it’s like some sort of competition or boast, it’s very strange. I’m now disabled and don’t have much but I prioritise heating, I do only have a small flat to heat though. The cold makes my chronic pain worse but so does the summer heat.

I hate really warm houses. There's only so much you can take off. It's easier to layer up and keep warm IMO. But my parents house was always cold once they'd gone to bed so was used to it. Now I work outside a lot I barely feel it.

Current place has storage heaters so the heat slowly dwindles in the evening, but it's not baltic by any stretch - although there's no radiator in my bedroom. I haven't used my quilt in about a year. I usually use it in winter but seem to have become even more reptilian in the last year. 🤣

It's 1°C here ('feels like' -3°C) and I'm still using the duvet cover on its own. If it's really cold I might put a blanket over my bottom half but haven't needed it in bed for weeks. Maybe just on my legs occasionally while watching TV for extra snugness. I stayed in Wales over xmas and couldn't sleep the first night as the duvet was so warm. Had to take it out and use the cover on its own the next night. I'm not a plumpster either.

I'm into strength training with my deadlift in the elite category for a woman so bodyfat is pretty low (actually have a six pack). I think it's growing up in relative cold and probs most of all working in heavy plant/construction.

I'll often eat up to 3k cals a day so that possibly helps.

A cosy warm home is a priority of mine. We know we're being ripped but warmth is a luxury I'd never give up.
And I smoke.

I avoided a trip to stay because my friend lives in a freezing house, it’s very pretty with polished original wooden floorboards and large windows but it’s bloody freezing. My house is set at 19.

Yes if OP were expecting someone to keep a house at 22 that’s unreasonable but I have also known people who treat it as a frugality competition and you’re lucky to have the place at 16. I don’t think it’s hospitable, especially when they aren’t skint and you know it.

Yes it's inhospitable and liking heat myself, I always enquire if people are comfortable and if they're not I open the garden doors for a while and turn the heating down.
Equally, in the summertime if we're outside I throw sweatshirts and wraps around if people get chilly when the sun goes down.

I love you
I have never ever bought the "just put on a jumper" "just wear layers" thing. I want to wear a reasonable amount of indoor clothes and have warm feet, hands and face for heaven's sake.

YANBU,

That being said we live in a big house. It costs an arm and a leg to heat fully. And you can’t half heat it. The heat just sucks from one part to another otherwise.

Through experimentation I have realised you also can’t cool and heat it on/off. Doesn’t touch the sides and costs much more having the boiler in overdrive trying to catch up.

So basically I can see how it happens. People can’t afford or don’t want to spend that much - then bad loop of not fully being actually able to heat the home. More damp. Which makes it harder to heat it again. Harder actually I would say impossible unless you have a log burner and can pump some super hot dry heat.

And I find if the walls get cold we are buggered for the whole remaining season. It never regains its warmth. So the late competition of who can wait longest to turn heating on also leads to heating disaster.

Many years ago a work colleague invited me round for the evening. I made a long bad journey in february on 2 buses and the house was freezing cold. I sat with my coat on and when she commented i told her it was too cold for me and asked for a cup of coffee to warm me up. She had not offered me one on arrival and I felt it was poor hospitality. Needless to say I declined all future invitations and told her why. It turned out she had lodgers and I felt sorry for them. At the time I was living on a rough council estate but I made sure my flat was properly heated and people were offered a drink on arrival.

I failed to quote you on my previous post.
You are on my page.
Guests should not feel uncomfortable.
It's that simple.

I'm amazed how much people feel the cold/how many layers they need - even knowing how warm blooded I am. I never need more than a t-shirt, jumper, thermal coat when I'm working outside. Tbh I don't often bother with the jumper unless it's sub zero or I'm going to be outside for ages

I suspect they think it’s morally superior not to worry about bourgeois things like being warm.

Guests can also feel uncomfortable when hosts like their heating set high.

There are limits to how much clothing one can remove. Stuffy rooms make me feel dull and stupid and irritable - I get desperate for fresh air and start calculating when I can decently leave!

I just don't feel the cold the same as other people so I do tend to put the heating on for visitors and I do ask if guests are warm enough.

Yesterday I was sitting on the sofa in a T shirt, my carer was wearing a hoodie and had duvet over him. It was about 12 degrees.