DH waking the kids!

[PinkPonyClubb]

He’s driving me crazy! I literally watch (baby monitors) as each noise wakes both kids. (1-3)

His alarm goes of at 5.30 both kids are flat out.

We leave both kids doors open when they sleep incase they ever wake and need us. I’ve asked him to shut these, he forgets every morning. He shuts the bathroom door and the noise always wakes the 1 year old first, it’s the latch it kind of pings so loud. He washes his hair which sounds like an avalanche, drops loads and that bloody cough drives me nuts! He can not brush his teeth without gagging.

On occasion, when it’s me up early first, the kids don’t wake.

Am I being precious? Is this just normal morning noise? I can’t see why he can’t assist the door closing quietly, close the kids doors and not drop everything

🤦🏽‍♀️ rock concert!!

My HV advised exactly the same and it worked out well when DC were younger.

Now sleep through their alarms 😳

LOL my kids too, now you mention it. They have to set up a series of them on multiple devices and it still requires me to open the door 15mins before we’re due to leave and send the dogs in to jump on their heads!

If he wakes them up he deals with them. That should solve the problem pretty quickly.

I don’t have white noise machines. If I leave the baby monitor on and use this shut the door the baby monitor makes a noise, kind of like white noise. That disturbs me. So I put it on silent. The monitor doesn’t last the night and it’s on charge next to me the noise it makes when not on silent annoys me. It’s kind of like white noise like wind. Hard to explain.

Bedroom doors are open all night while hoovering, showering and TV is on. Both kids can sleep anywhere.

I disagree I have made a rod for my own back. It’s early morning when they’re in a light sleep. At weekends they don’t wake. My husband is waking them.

I remember my friend's husband used to make a terrible noise getting up in the morning, and managed to wake the whole house up when he was on early work shifts. However, my goodness what a change at the weekend when he had a day's golfing planned. He would slither silently out of bed and get ready in silence. He knew that if he woke my friend, she wouldn't be too pleased about being left to deal with everything alone all weekend.

I think the issue here, the thing you are resentful about, is that YOU wake, not the kids.

Are there other areas of your relationship that are niggling at you?

I completely agree with you. I’m sure I’m not perfect and he is absolutely great with everything else.

This morning my toddler cried that he wanted to stay home with mummy and said he was too tired to go to nursery. This is the third early wake up they have had this week.

So while I agree with you, I’m a happy person because I’ve generally got a good husband, him waking the kids and them being upset is not something I can let slide, like say leaving his dirty clothes on the floor (he would never do this btw 😂)

I know this has been said but you really need to be shutting internal doors of a night to help slow down the spread of fire/smoke. Just by doing this one simple thing you are increasing the chance of you and your family escaping/surviving a fire.

Blimey close the kids doors. If they wake and cry in the night because they’re distressed you’ll not both sleep through it presuming your house is a fairly standard size. You can keep your bedroom door open if you need to but ours are all fire doors which are just doors if they’re not closed.
or keep all doors closed and just turn the monitor up when he gets up for his shower?

I wake at the same time to get ready before the kids. Well, it’s 5.40 but it’s only ten minutes.

No I’m happy with everything else. My issue is he’s upsetting the kids because they’re so tired.

I think this would all be sorted by just closing the kids’ doors last thing at night. It’s much safer that way anyway. You could get a baby alarm that only makes noise if they are actually crying if you’re worried you won’t hear them.

Agree he could be more considerate but some things just don’t work out like that so worth exploring other solutions instead of having the same argument on repeat.

it sounds like you’re married to Mr Bean, nice but dim

Honestly, if the adult day starts at 540 then I would simply adjust your evenings to accommodate early starts and accept you/they will be up by 6am. Perhaps put them to bed an hour earlier/feed them earlier etc - then they won’t be as tired? Just because other households have kids that sleep from 7pm-7am doesn’t mean it has to be the way your house does?

I don’t think you have read my comments. Kids go to bed at 7.30 every night. At weekends or when we’re are all off, 1yo wakes at 7.30 and 3yo wakes at 8.

I have read them - you were saying that your DH is waking them at 530 when he gets up - and this is an issue? If they are not waking until 730, I have no idea what your complaint is?

To solve the problem at the cause - it’s either shut the kids’ doors or bathroom quieter - and it doesn’t sound like the DH is making unnecessary noise in there ?

Maybe read them again?

Thank you to the poster who posted about light sleepers very supportive.

My first can and will sleep anywhere and through anything. On holiday through entertainment, hoovering me cleaning cousins playing and shouting. He does wake easily early morning if he’s disturbed by loud banging as he’s in a light sleep.

My second 😂😂😂 He wakes when a door is knocked 5 miles away.

If you’ve got kids that will sleep through anything, that’s great that you’ve help assist that. It is not solely a product of you’re parenting. It’s there temperament. With my second I was driving myself insane, he would be 3 months old and awake 8+ hours every day because he couldn’t just sleep through his brother! Even after 2 months of trying. So no you’re wrong.

For years I left the house at 7 am 3 days a week for early shifts. Not once did I disturb anyone else. Everything ready the night before, clothes ready in the living room, it is perfectly possible to tiptoe into the loo quietly and it is not necessary to bang doors.
DH also managed to leave quietly on the days he was starting early.
Could he be doing it deliberately?
Does he resent having to get up early?

100% agree (I am that poster 😂).
We did not parent our children any different until we literally had no choice.

We did the hoover, tv / radio on etc for both kids but guess what... one slept through it all and the other would wake if I even considered breathing out loud. Funnily my husband (their Dad) would sleep through a warzone but I'm awake most of the night if I heard a car drove past on the road or if one of the kids coughed etc.

I think people are missing the point here that whilst it's not an insane volume of noise, it's waking the kids early on multiple days in the week and your issue isn't having to start the day early... it's the knock on effect of the kids ultimately losing 5 or 6 hours of sleep in the week. Again with difficult sleepers it isn't as easy as putting them to bed earlier (particularly with 2 working parents).

Brushing his wisdom teeth thoroughly I imagine.

This may be controversial but if the kids are waking up with the bathroom door shut, then I'd suggest that if they wake in the night and are upset it is likely you will hear them through closed doors especially if the monitor white noise keeps you awake.

Thank you so much! 💖 HV definitely didn’t help in the early days either - babies will sleep through anything you just need to get them used to it. No, no they don’t. My first would and does.

Yep... my 2nd gets so upset, he holds.his breath.

He's almost 2 now and guess what... I was up from 2am til 6.30am with him last night because he couldn't sleep. Then the day had to start at 7am!