DH waking the kids!

[PinkPonyClubb]

He’s driving me crazy! I literally watch (baby monitors) as each noise wakes both kids. (1-3)

His alarm goes of at 5.30 both kids are flat out.

We leave both kids doors open when they sleep incase they ever wake and need us. I’ve asked him to shut these, he forgets every morning. He shuts the bathroom door and the noise always wakes the 1 year old first, it’s the latch it kind of pings so loud. He washes his hair which sounds like an avalanche, drops loads and that bloody cough drives me nuts! He can not brush his teeth without gagging.

On occasion, when it’s me up early first, the kids don’t wake.

Am I being precious? Is this just normal morning noise? I can’t see why he can’t assist the door closing quietly, close the kids doors and not drop everything

The bathroom.

I have done exactly this. Things change for a bit, then it starts again and he always say I just forget.

Well he’s a bit thick then
and sadly nothing going to change that
good luck

Perhaps the answer is you getting up early and acting as he does so the kids wake and he can experience the impact himself??
Have to say if he won’t be quiet for you, he should for your kids so their sleep is not disrupted unnecessarily.

YANBU. I wake up at 5am when I go into the office. Go straight downstairs in the living room, use the (cold) downstairs loo, brush my teeth and get dressed downstairs.
The only noise in make is the coffee machine, and I've started using the French press instead because it was waking up our 4yo sometimes.

I certainly do not have a shower or wash my hair, it's perfectly fine to do that in the evening. Unless you live in a perfectly sound-insulated house, there is no way this won't wake up everyone else.

Is this how I would like to get ready in the morning? Definitely not, but it's a small compromise that doesn't cost much.

Thanks for your replies everyone.

I am a very relaxed person and I’ve never really felt so annoyed! I am infuriated that both children are going to be tired again today because “I just don’t think, sorry.”

I wouldn’t expect him to sort the kids out when he wakes them, unless it’s the weekend as he needs to get to work.

I would also not expect him to use the shower as it’s his house too.

I just want some consideration. If you know you’re going to have an almighty coughing fit everytime you brush your teeth, brush them downstairs. Shut doors. Ultimately if you’re really trying to be quite and you still can’t, go downstairs!

My husband does the gagging/coughing while brushing his teeth as well. What is that?!

If he has his shower the night before and all he needs to do is his teeth and hair, I'd be making him use the kitchen sink and then cleaning it afterwards as a temporary measure.

You’re right to want some consideration

You have raised with him multiple times

and he always reverts to being inconsiderate, even though negatively impacting wife and children.

not a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

No, this would do my head in it’s mega selfish. Shower night before toothbrshing downstairs

What a prick. I would be very angry with him.

But also - why are you watching the children wake up on the monitor instead of going to close their doors? Why are your doors open anyway?! If your house is small enough that he wakes them in the bathroom it's small enough that you'll hear them if they wake up and cry in the night.

I think you’re being a little harsh here. He sounds like a good guy. Maybe you are so calm normally partly because you have a decent chap as a partner. No one is perfect. Do you have habits that are a bit annoying? I’ve not met anyone who doesn’t yet. How about keep it chill and just remind him here and there. Maybe he is being equally tolerant of something you do.

Omg, I know! Why is it so loud?!

If he is just dampening his hair and brushing teeth - he could do that downstairs.

We currently have a note on the back of our bedroom door reminding us to close the 3yos door if we get up in the night.

He's only been with us some months and he's a much lighter sleeper than our older kids.

Might work to get him into the habit of closing the kids doors?
He does need to have the inclination to do so though - which if he's a selfish arse he may not

We had this issue and in the end my DH very kindly agreed to shave & get dressed downstairs. He’d pop his clothes in the sitting room & wash stuff in the kitchen before he came to bed at night. He would shower before bed & then wash face & shave in the kitchen sink with a little mirror I purposefully bought. He found it a chore the first week but then got used to the routine and did it for years! Any chance your dh might consider this? It meant I and the kids got an extra 2 hours sleep before work/nursery/school and we were all much more pleasant for him to come home to!!

DH always sounds like he's remodelling the bathroom morning and night rather than using it. I can't understand how he can make so much noise. I share your pain OP, though thankfully he only disturbs me these days.

could you get monitors which mute for background noise and only play sound if the children make a sound. My son’s VTech monitors have that and even on the most sensitive sound setting, it doesn’t register the white noise and turns the screen and speaker off until he makes a sound. We have a new wifi free one (VM924) and an old model from Facebook marketplace for going away and the sound tech is the same in both so it doesn’t have to be expensive. Would also help for fire safety too so not just the waking issue.

I agree either get him to go downstairs or put a note on the bathroom door that says SHUT KIDS DOORS!!!

This. He wakes them up=he deals with them. That's how it works in my house

Why would the OP be making signs and thinking of work arounds. She's not the one causing the problem?!

I think you’ve made a rod for your own back doors open and white noise machines

we NEVER made an effort to be quiet form day 1 and also one of our had colic

they were rarely disturbed by noise

shut the bedroom doors

Every kid is different. Our eldest would sleeping through ANYTHING while our toddler wakes if I turn over in the bed in the room next door. Glad it worked for you but don't criticise someone's parenting when you have zero idea what it's like to have a light sleeper.

Kids just need to learn to sleep though some noise from a young age. Noiser the better in the long run and will help you should you go away on holiday or stay with relatives where you can't control house noise.

How can he forget EVERY morning? He's doing it on purpose.

He sounds selfish.

But just keep the kids doors shut. What's the point of a baby monitor, if it's on silent?

And it's better in case of a fire, as a pp pointed out.

He sounds very selfish and it is annoying, but unfortunately your kids will need to learn to sleep through ambient noise if they want to adjust to the real world. It’s why my HV always advised to go about our business when kids were babies - so I hoovered, put music on etc when they slept. My youngest, in particular, could now remain asleep with a rick concert playing in the garden.