To ask if you’ve lived alone did you struggle

[Legally77777]

Or not

I think that it maybe it depends on whether you live alone through choice or circumstance. I live alone and I absolutely love my home but I struggle every day with the sense of aloneness.
I hate coming home to a quiet empty house, so much in fact that I actually leave the radio and lamps on 24 hours a day.
I hate eating alone and even more, sleeping alone.
I have an amazing family, brilliant friends and an active social life. They have no idea how I feel but seeing as you asked, I absolutely hate living alone.

I think that it maybe it depends on whether you live alone through choice or circumstance.

Yes. My dad hates it but that’s because he’s living without my late mum. At the same time he doesn’t want to move in with any of us because it’s his home.

Completely different from my circumstances.

No.
I thrived and will do so again.
😊

I suppose some of the things people struggle with are the silence and solitude - while I love those aspects, others find them really tough, someone up thread mentioned leaving work on a Friday afternoon and not speaking to anyone until she went back to work on Monday morning- living with kids means that sort of solitude isn’t a feature and silence definitely isn’t!

I’ve lived alone a few times as an adult. I’ve really enjoyed it when I’ve been somewhere I’m happy with good friends so plenty to do if I want to. I’ve also been lonely living alone when I’ve been in a city abroad with few friends. That was 20 years ago though, I’m late 40s and married with 2dc. I don’t think I’d want to live alone again because I’m so used to my family, but it’s all about circumstances isn’t it.

I can totally understand this and my heart goes out to you all.
It must be very upsetting to see your lovely dad so lost in his home without your dear mum.
Living alone isn’t always easy, is it?

I have been living alone for more than 10 years now, I absolutely love it it's bliss.

I never feel alone, I have a rich social life and a little dog, I just don't like sharing my space with someone else.

Context is everything. For me it’s joy. For him it’s the opposite.

@Legally77777 are you going to come back and reply to some of the questions ?

I live alone and love it, I’m single at the moment but I don’t see myself living with a partner again. However, I’m in a city with lots of local amenities and friends nearby, I think it would be very lonely if I were remote. The times I’ve felt unhappy were when I was very sick one night, not being able to put up a curtain pole on my own, when the bathroom light made a weird honking noise, and not able to unzip a dress. The benefits far outweigh the negatives here.

I loved living alone in a bedsit from age 19-20. Then lived with a boyfriend, husband and our children, then divorced and just the growing/grown-up children, until the youngest moved out when she was 28.

Now it’s just me with the dogs and cats and I love it, there is nothing on this earth that would persuade me to share my home again and if any of the AC wanted to move back (they won’t), I’d leave.

I'm an introvert, and I really didn't like it. I actually wonder if introverts are worse suited to living alone, because I think for living alone to be enjoyable, you have to be going out regularly, seeing friends and doing activities. Looking back, I think I did it all wrong and didn't really have the skills for it: if I was doing it again now I would be much more proactive about joining evening and weekend clubs and classes.

I've got to say, I'm always surprised so many people on MN are so positive about it, but clearly it does work for many people!

I love living alone as an introvert because I get to control exactly how many people I see and when. I can always have the alone time I need to recharge.

I didn't feel I got to control exactly how many people I saw and when. There were times when I wanted to see more people, but there wasn't anyone there.

Im an introvert and love living alone.

I never have times when I want to see more people.

Sorry my point was more - the more we intersect with others the more our views are challenged with his healthy and necessary to grow as individuals. Isolation can often perpetuate self reinforcing and frequently limiting world view & entrenched opinions.

BTW nothing wrong with aging per se and I love all the things you do! :-)
Just let’s keep in communion and flexible mindsets by being with diverse company & mindsets.

Typo - *which is healthy

I absolutely loved it. I miss it and think about it at least once every few days.

i lived alone when I was 21/22 and again from 24 to 29.

I have lived with my now DH since then and we now have 2 kids (I’m in my forties). There are things I like a lot about this life stage, but I truly miss my peace and sense of calm that I felt when closing the door of my own little flat behind me.

Sometimes I fantasise about the retirement flat I might have alone later in life (DH is older so the chance of me being single later on is fairly high)

But living alone doesn’t mean isolation. When I lived alone I was at my most social. I made sure I never had two evenings in a row at home by myself. I had so many plans, was in different groups and activities, had many active friendships, I volunteered, I did so much.

Now i’m in the house with my DH and kids almost every evening. I maybe see other people one day a week.

i’m way more ideologically isolated - in the way you describe - now in a house surrounded by people

That is very interesting.
have a great day - gotta run!
wish you the best

This makes complete sense.

A lot of MNers talk about ‘my little family’ and not needing to have friends other than their DHs. People who live alone need to actively build communities & friendships so are more likely to know & socialise with a variety of people.

No. I live with my 7 year old, so not entirely alone, but no adult is ever here except for me.
I won't live with anyone again, I like things my own way.

You really have to like yourself and your own company to be comfortable about sole living I think. It also depends on the type of person you are, whether you rely on or crave company, or don't.

Take me for example. I'm late sixties now and have lived on my own since I was late twenties. I bought my own house when it was not easy for a single woman and I thought I had won the lottery. I am still in that house now because that first purchase was perfect for me, and still is, although it's much "grander" by now!

I'm not a recluse but I'm not a "joiner" of things either. I'd say I have built a life for myself that doesn't require much from others. I have family and friends that I can call upon at a minute's notice to help out in emergencies or whatever. My sister and I go away a lot also, although she has a family and grandkids I don't. Friends peel off as you get older, or they get sick and die, but I have a few constants around still for cultural things, coffee, walks and so on. I've known them since university days.

I also have a partner for over 30 years now. He lives in the country an hour away, and I'm in the city. It's a perfect combination for us. We share the attributes of each others lives, go out places during the week, and have mutually agreed trips abroad/away. But we would never live together in the same house. We both like our lives just the way they are!

So really, it's horses for courses isn't it?

I sometimes struggle with some complex diy. Or catching a mouse. But then I have friends who step in to help. Friends who do not sleep with me ever.