To ask if you’ve lived alone did you struggle

[Legally77777]

Or not

Then is it selfish to say I don’t care, because I’m living in the way that makes me healthiest & happiest?

After my divorce it took years of lodging & flat sharing before I could afford to rent & then buy alone. I cried with happiness on the day I was able to close my front door & know nobody else would be coming in unless invited.

I’m 60 years old and so I don’t care if this chapter means being selfish for first time in my life.

Its far better to be so the and live alone than compromise just to settle for a man in your bed

@Legally77777 can you elaborate on what you mean? What are we supposed to be struggling with?

I am wondering what there is to struggle with? You do not mention a disability or finances so it is a very vague question you are asking here but no I have not struggled as a single mum who has lived alone (besides the kids) in over 20 years.

Nope I loved living on my own! Lived on my own for most of my 20s and then a couple of years in my late 30s. Although I am an only child so very much am used to (and enjoy) my own company and solitude.

Having said that, DH is a lovely, calm (and clean!) person and a joy to live with. We're very similar and both enjoy a peaceful life and home. If he wasn't I would probably still be single and living alone!

No, I loved it. It was strange for a while, but then I took control of my life. Invited friends round for meals (cheap like chilli). Joined a couple of clubs - walking and art. That built a social life, but I wasn't on the go all the time, I really enjoyed the peaceful times. Also eating what and when I liked. Generally being completely in charge of my spare time.

Only 2 years but loved it!

I did struggle at first, yes. I went very quickly from a busy household of 4 down to just me rattling around in a big empty house. I found it very lonely at times and whilst I had a good social life, I sometimes felt I was just filling time and would come home feeling more alone.
Eventually, the big family home was sold and I bought my own little house which I then did up to my own taste. It was fun choosing everything myself and not having to compromise!
I also changed jobs to one where I’m much less stressed and mostly enjoy. So now, several years later, I feel fine living alone. In fact, I like it. But it did take time and getting used to.

Loved alone for 25 years. Loved it most of the time.

I LOVE living by myself, and I am never going to live with another adult ever again. I am definitely not half of a pair, or a permanently social creature. I am very much an independent person, and I like it that way.

I like being able to wind down when I come home after long days in work, being able to starfish in bed, being able to be ill in peace (I have migraines...), it is quiet enough for me to sleep without being disturbed (I am a light sleeper), and I never have to compromise (I grew up in a world where I was supposed to put everybody else's needs and wants first, and what I wanted was irrelevant, and where saying, "No", was not an option). I get to make all of the decisions about my life, and it is a non-stop novelty.

I move heavy furniture by myself, much to the shock of some burly delivery men. I may be small, but I am strong and mighty!

Sometimes it is tricky financially, and huge DIY projects can be easier if you have an assistant/can hire someone who is reliable enough to do the work for you. It might be nice to come home to a meal once in a while, after a long stretch in work (living rurally limits your takeaway options). If I was in a relationship, it would probably be easier to have a child and ruin the idea of any alone time for at least 18 years, but there are ways and means around this!

I prefer living alone to living with my ex BF who didn't really even contribute enough to cover his full expenses that he was adding to my bills by living here, so I felt financially better off when he left as I no longer spent so much on food, his clothes etc. he also didn't do much housework so it's easier to only clean up after myself
But it is hard living alone being reliant on one income, harder to save being on your own than if you were splitting the bills with another person properly.
I have a partner that I've been with for the last 3 years though and I definitely think it would be a far nicer life living with him than living alone. With both houses equity we could be mortgage free in one home or upside with small split mortgage in another home and I think the chores would be split fairly evenly as he does all his housework currently and I don't think he would be unfair. But I'm not pushing anything currently if he's not ready to make the leap
So living alone is better than living with a man child cock lodger but I think living within a dual income house hold with a fair domestic split is superior to living alone.

Yes, I lived alone for the four years before I moved in with my now husband. It was brilliant, absolutely loved having my own space. No regrets, but really miss it!

Struggle how? Emotionally? Financially? Practically?

I really liked living alone. The only reason I agreed to live with my DP was because living with him (and only him, I've never felt this with anyone else) was as enjoyable as living on my own. Not more enjoyable but definitely as enjoyable, and that's a big deal to me.

I did struggle financially (massively!) when I lived alone in London. I moved to another part of the country and that was a bit easier. But I never struggled emotionally or practically when I lived alone, it was always great. I loved it!

I’ve always lived alone and I love it.

I lived alone for 3 years after my divorce. I had a boyfriend who visited and young children too, but when they weren't there I was lonely. It's not fashionable to say that.... you're supposed to talk about loving the independence etc but like a PP I WFH and would be in the house on my own for days at a time. I used to go to Asda just to speak to someone 😂. I struggled with the loneliness yes. But I don't struggle with anything else except catching spiders. I'm remarried now and don't miss living alone. I like occasionally having the house to myself but that's a very different thing

I cannot stand living with anyone especially not a man. I have my life in order, they just chuck their stuff everywhere and expect me to run after them cleaning up which I refuse to do.
I live with my two cats and that's how I like it.
Any man in my life would have to live out.

Perfectly ok to say that.

Before I met DH I lived alone for about 8 years and absolutely loved it but I did spend all weekend every weekend with friends so didn't feel too lonely

I have lived totally alone (no dependants or pets)

No struggles

Freedom to do exactly what I wanted

Small property & Small bills

Fond memories

I have also lived as a single person in shared accommodation with other people too.

I’m surprised by how many posters are talking about living alone and then go on to talk about having children who live with them. Obviously that’s not the same as living with a partner/spouse, but neither is it living alone.

It's not quite the same no but if they're very young it's evenings all alone and you can't even go out. When they're older they're mostly annoying mess makers so not a positive really (lighthearted). I took the op to be about the companionship of living with another adult in a romantic relationship and sharing the bills and chores.

I lived alone for a bit when I first got divorced (well, with my pets). It was awesome, loved it. Redecorated my house the way I wanted, bought new furniture, etc. Have great neighbours I could call on if I needed a jar opening, or a spider removing, lol. I have a boyfriend now and he’s at my house quite a bit, but has his own place and I love it when he’s here and also when he goes home, lol.

It has its merits but one has to be intentional about socializing and not getting stuck in one’s ways, which can be very aging..

I was mostly single for 10 years - the odd boyfriend but not living together or committed.

I’m not sure what you would include in ‘struggled’, but I had no problems. I cooked if I wanted or didn’t, went to bed at 6.30 if I felt like it, left things lying around or tidied up as I pleased…it was sometimes a bit lonely but I had a decent social life with my friends who were also mostly single. And I liked choosing to be silent if I wanted.

I don’t miss it as such, I adore my life with my husband and child, we genuinely have a great time together, but if I lost my husband and my child left home I wouldn’t pursue another living-together relationship. I’d be happy in my own little house, doing my own thing, just as I did, and was, before.

But what's wrong with aging, if it's in keeping with your actual age and you're happy? I like radio 4, a real newspaper, reading. Some of my peers take the mick but I like those. I'm not asking them to do the same. Being 'stick in your. ways' just means you know what you like.