To ask if you’ve lived alone did you struggle

[Legally77777]

Or not

I like living on my own and pleasing myself. If there’s anything I can’t manage physically though I have to pay for help so having just a bit more money would make life easier. Emotionally it’s great, I don’t want to have to compromise all the time again.

I absolutely hated the guts out of it. Was desperately unhappy and think that "if you're not happy single you'll be unhappy in a relationship " is the biggest lie in the world.

Absolutely loathed every minute aspect of it.

I thought I would love living by myself when I moved out of flatshare in my twenties but I hated it. It didn’t help that I regretted the tiny flat I bought. It had a combined living room/ kitchen that I didn’t like. But I also just got lonely.

I was happiest when I was living with someone I loved. That was brilliant.

A lot ( not all) of the ‘love it’ posts seem to be from people who are naturally solitary or who have bad experiences of living with a man.

I hate even being alone over night. I get irrationally scared of every noise. I'm a keep the TV on for company person.

I'm also quite introverted and would find it hard living with flatmates etc so it's a bit of a stupid combo.

I'm a single parent to teens with a long term but not co-habiting partner. I bloody love it when the kids are away for a week and the house is silent, tidy and i can please myself. In theory DP and I will move in together eventually but part of me would like to just keep things as they are once my kids have gone. I love the autonomy.

I loved living on my own. Whole house to myself, not having to please anyone else except my DD. Not compromising on anything. I now live with DP who is chilled and easy to live with but I miss it.

Its not a lie. Have you never stopped to wonder why you are so viscerally scared and angry about the prospect of being alone?

There’s a connection between the irrational fear of living alone and the desperation urge to be in a relationship. This puts you in a really vulnerable position where you think you can’t survive/have no value outside of a relationship.

If you can’t function outside of a relationship you have no power or autonomy inside one.

You don't have to be single to live alone. I would say that if you are happy living alone its harder to be happy living with someone else. I hated living with someone when I tried it.

I think the idea that "if you're not happy single you'll be unhappy in a relationship" is probably because if you really hate being single you are more vulnerable to accepting any relationship, even a bad one, if it ends your single status.

I loved living alone (with my cat) but I was newly single, in my late 20s, and going through a nervous breakdown. I'd prefer to live with my fiancé and family now I'm older and I've softened a bit. I do still need everyone to fuck off out of my house on occasion though.

I've been living alone for roughly ten years. Currently have a lodger (helping someone out) but she's talking of moving out and I can't wait.

Living alone suits me very well.

During Covid it was a struggle financially, but other than that it hasn't been.

I’m neither naturally solitary or had bad experiences either men. I’m very socially active and still very good friends with my ex H.

I thought I’d hate living alone and dud t until I was in my early 50’s but after doing do I couldn’t go back to living with another person again. I love doing g home with other people away from the home but as soon as I’m there and I shut my front door, i absolutely love every minute of my own space and peace with no one to disturb me.

It’s not a lie at all. I wish more women would understand absolutely content and happy with themselves is essential rather than being desperate for any old man.

You only have to read some of the threads on here to see where that desperation leads to.

Just because it’s not something you understand yet doesn’t not make it true.

I like living with DH, but do miss my old living alone life sometimes. Lived alone for 15 years and was v happy, if something happened like we divorced. I wouldn’t move In with someone again….

Financially: yes, a little.
Mentally: no, I loved it and had more energy to be social/extroverted outside of home than I normally am.

Still sometimes have a little daydream of living alone now that I’ve got a family 🤣

Being alone sucks if you enjoy company. We are social creatures evolved to live together. (I think people who live alone tend to become weird and selfish over time as I think the absence of compromise and the pressure of total responsibility for everything are unhealthy).

(Yes I know most women must live alone at some point now and it's a relief not to have to rely on others to survive).

The opposite. Love living alone and didn't like sharing a home.

I miss living alone, decorate how i want, full bed to myself, watch whatever I want, go to bed whatever time i want, eat what i want when i want, I had hobbies I don't have time for now, spent more time on personal care, yeah it was great

Oh that's interesting.

Because I think that women quite often end up with more on their plate when they don't live alone, because of the expectations put on them by others. Usually men. They can end up taking on, for example, care of parents in law or step children, shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning more than a 50% share.

So for me, just being responsible for myself, is great. And it actually enables me to be less selfish as I have time to devote on other things.

Am I wierd? Maybe. But no more so than anyone else.

I lived alone for two years at one point after my divorce.

however I do fit the category of women who had bad experiences with men.

I first lived alone age 47 so I had plenty of years of living as a family.

it was a lovely two years, and then my son was between flats so stayed for the summer and then my dd finished uni and couldn’t get a job so moved home.

I now live with my dd.
my mum comes to visit for weeks at a time.
and last summer my brother came over from New Zealand and I had numerous rellies staying for a few days to see him.

I also have three cats.

i’d recommend cats to anyone who has a spider problem.

Same, I miss my days of living alone I absolutely loved it.

I don't do well living alone. I have done it both single and in a relationship so my struggling wasn't linked to wider loneliness. I hated knowing nothing would be different when I got home, that things would be where I left them and there was none to chat with. Mostly though, I threw off my sense of time. Its hard to explain but it really did.

I love sharing a space (with the right person of course). I like that if im pondering something we can chat about it. I like that I can come home to find something in life is improved. Like they've taught the cat a trick or made a yummy cheesecake or have a funny story about a neighbour. I enjoy decorating and doing other gouse jobs with someone else, you can yalk though the challenges or just have a giggle when the job is boring. Im quite independent and so do plenty on my own and out of the house so its not like I need someone to be with me but when it comes to a home, I prefer to share it.

Of course, id always pick living alone over living with the wrong person/people.

I live with my dog so not totally alone. I love it, I cannot imagine sharing my space with a man ever again.

Absolutely loved it! In fact when I met my now husband and we decided to move in together I did privately wonder if I’d be able to manage living with someone else all the time. As it turns out, it was much easier then I thought and I love being with him. That said, when everyone is out but me, the silence in the house is golden! X

Loved it. Also loved my HMO.

I didn't love sharing with, or as, a lodger though as the people were the wrong fit for me. More people was a good buffer and less intense.

Why you asking OP? Many of us have loved it/love it. Are struggling to make a decision or getting used to it?