Bf sleeps half they day and doesn’t help round house

[ano1717369119]

I feel like all I do is nag, I’ve asked him to help round house but he says I need to tell him what to do, I’ve told him stuff to do ie do his dishes and clean up after using kitchen bit he half ass does it dishes still dirty and bunkers wiped but still stuff over them,
also other stuff I’ve told him I shouldn’t need to ask as you can see house needs hoovered but says he doesn’t notice it but we have cats you can see the litter on floor , or if I’m working and he’s in house with son the mess isn’t is problem that’s mines when a get home
also he finishes work late and wants to unwind which I get but turns tv on in room while I’m sleep which wake me up, this results in him sleeping till noon or after each day which is my fault as I didn’t wake him🙈

the thing is he is so loving but doesn’t matter how many times I ask for help round the house it just doesn’t happen then ends in an argument cos he goes cold on me as he feels like I’m nagging and all I do is moan

But a feel it’s not unreasonable to ask for help without telling him exactly what to do, unsure what I can do to get him to help more round the house cos fed up at this point of doing everything from min I open my eyes.

Your best bet is to end the relationship.

You’ve landed yourself with another child, throw it back.

No amount of being ‘loving’ is enough to counter the fact he’s a lazy arse who doesn’t care about leaving all the heavy lifting around the house to you.

Wave bye-bye.

It's not loving to turn the TV on when someone is sleeping 🤦 he doesn't give a damn about you. End it.

He isn't loving at all he feels entitled to do nothing and make it your problem, he wakes you up from sleeping because his desires and wants are more important than the human need for sleep.

Get rid of him, he has no respect for you.

He is not loving. If he was loving, he’d respect you and not treat you like a servant, there to clean up his mess.
Waking you while you’re sleeping is really disrespectful and selfish.
Of course he can see what needs to be cleaned. He’s just too lazy to.
You’ve got yourself a manchild and they don’t improve. Is this the sort of relationship you want?

OP, throw this one back - he won’t change.

Explain clearly and calmly that if you have to treat him like a child and tell him what to do, you couldn't possibly sleep with him again because you now see him like the child that he is acting like. Ick.
Why do you put up with this?

He sounds awful, you deserve so much more. He sees you as staff - someone to cook, clean and no doubt have sex with. That isn’t a fair relationship.

He’s happy for you to do all the work and doesn’t care that you’re exhausted . This isn’t any sort of partnership. So unless you fancy a mother type role end this now.

I could have written this post word for word, although I now have a child with him.. he’s not going to change. It will make you severely stressed and resentful and feel taken for granted, not worth sticking around

He’s not going to change and will always expect you to be his housekeeper, maid, drudge.

That’s horrible behaviour and shows a total disregard for you.

He sounds like my teenager on a particularly bad day. Ultimatum time.

He's not loving. End this relationship now or it's your life.

Sometimes he does ask if it’s okay but if I say no it’s met with a mood, when he comes home and he can’t watch it in livingroom due to where sons room is and would wake him

You are being unreasonable to yourself to stay with such an oaf. Why would you partner with such a dead weight. Assuming he won’t change, it’s your choice to stay with him or not.

I watch TV while my DP is sleeping. But in another room and with the subtitles on. He doesn't care enough about you to be considerate and that attitude is spilling over into the housework. If you don't need him for childcare, give him ultimatum. If you do need him, make plans to split.

I completely agree with the above posters, but can see you have a child in the mix and you may not want to LTB right now.

My suggestion is to put a very clear list of tasks that HE is responsible for, on the fridge, so he can clearly see them. Include things like hoover the litter area every day, and be responsible for his own laundry.

Make it clear that you cannot be expected to work and run around after two children - him being one of them - especially on a lack of sleep and that the current situation cannot continue.

You shouldn't have do to this , it goes without saying. Meantime, give some thought to how your life would work without him.

OP: would you ever turn the TV on in a room where someone (someone you love) is sleeping?

he doesn’t respect you. Leave him.

"are" not "our"

If his lack of respect for you doesn’t kill the relationship the resentment that’ll build due to you having to do everything for him should.

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life asking someone to do the most basic of things 24.7.

He knows you’re not happy with his behaviour and rightly so and yet he still hasn’t changed meaning this is who he is and he has zero respect for you or the home you live in. He’s shown you, believe him.

He isn’t loving. You shouldn’t need to ask him to do his share of housework tasks let alone nag. It’s not a joint and equal relationship. .