To not understand why this is an issue

[lunx]

A group of friends are going on a hen do in a few months and the person who has arranged it has found a hotel for £75 a person per night. Someone in the group suggested an apartment as an alternative option as it works out cheaper per person per night at £35 each. But this idea was dismissed. Anyway the person who suggested the apartment asked a few of us what we wanted and several preferred the cheaper option. Especially taking into consideration the cost of travel, night out, new outfit and activities during the day. Now the person who wanted to stay in the £75 a night hotel and others who also wanted to stay there have gone mad at the others who wanted a cheaper alternative. Saying it’s selfish of them because now the others will have to pay more for the hotel and we should all be staying at the same accommodation even though the two accommodations are a short walking walking distance away. I personally don’t see an issue with this as we are still travelling together and spending the day/night together. We are just not sleeping in the same accommodation. Now it’s so awkward in the group. I just don’t understand the issue. Just wanted other’s opinions?

“The person who suggested the apartment asked a few of us what wanted and several offered the cheaper option”

reading this, it looks like the second plan was formed off radar, away from the main group chat. I think that could be where the organiser felt undermined and like it went behind her back. I can understand why that put her back up tbh, but this is still all bonkers.

As pp said, forking out money for a day/night away that you don’t think you’ll enjoy is a big no no , unless it’s for a very close friend! With work colleagues? Naaaaah

This is hilarious! I defo wouldn't be entertaining any of this for a work colleague. I bet the bride is imagining a nice simple night out, maybe a meal and then drinks etc with her work friends - not an overnight stay with horrid activities and I'm sorry but who wants a stripper these days!

When someone invites you to an event in honour of someone else (especially with more than one or two other people), you say, "yes, thanks," or, "sorry, I won't be able to attend".

You don't start trying to rearrange or reorganise that event to suit yourself.

Simple as that.

For what it's worth, my RSVP to this particular event would be the latter.

So she’s basically using someone else’s wedding as an excuse to organise something she wants to do because she has a non existent social life. All of it sounds like absolute hell to me and I feel sorry for the bride who most likely isn’t aware of half of it.

Are you all invited to the wedding?

When you say live drawing, do you mean life drawing i.e. an art class drawing a nude model? If so, I’d worry about that being an activity she has in mind alongside hiring a stripper. I hope she doesn’t think it’s another chance to giggle at a naked man, as life drawing isn’t for that at all.

Well that's an entirely different situation and a vote would be more appropriate. I organise a lot of weekends away for my various groups of friends and obviously it should be a joint decision.

Oh dear. This is all a bit of a mess. I totally get why the organiser is pissed off with people going behind her back and it will be shit for the bride staying in a hotel when half her guests are staying elsewhere.

BUT you are work colleagues, not the bride's best friends. None of you are even invited to the proper hen do. A works hen do consists of a meal out and drinks after work. Nothing more. Unless you are all very good friends. Which you are not.

I think you all need to speak to the organiser and change the plans to something more appropriate for work colleagues. If she won't listen then you decline the invite. And if my work colleague organised a stripper and life drawing I would be mortified.

Have you ever organised a hen do OP... feel for the organiser here!

Half the party going home at half 9 and if you're staying you're sharing a bed - screw that 😂
It's be like spending a long weekend with Zippy and Bungle.

The thing I don't understand is why anyone needs a new outfit to attend a hen party. Ditch the new clothes and surely there's more than enough to cover the hotel bill.

Other than taking in cost considerations, it’s not about what any of the hen do attendees want it should be about what type of accommodation the bride would prefer. Whoever is maid of honour should ask the bride if she would prefer a hotel or an apartment. You can easily do that without giving anything away about the rest of the trip. It’s also going to be massively awkward for the bride to be split between two groups.

Having just read the op's posts, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than share a room with three other women and a bed with one of them. I certainly wouldn't pay £75 for the privilege.

All this from work colleagues? Madness.

Has the organiser even checked the bride can go away that weekend?

I don't see the issue at all, the hen do sounds like it will be a nightmare tbh

A stripper? 😱

I would choose an apartment over a hotel any day even if it were not cheaper.

Well I don't do room sharing or strippers so it would definitely be a no from me!

Will the bride want a stripper?

Honestly, unless I was really close to the bride, this is pretty expensive so I don't think it's a problem if some don't want to spend so much.

I hope you all have fun but it would annoy me to keep spending.

Also why do so many hen dos have to be weird like this?
Hotels, strippers etc.

Is there no other way to have fun and a good send off?

Because the organiser who has unilaterally decided on a hotel (and which one) is also insisting that they should all wear the same tops.

The hotel shouldn’t have been booked till everyone agreed and alternatives discussed properly. Some people may not have been able to afford the £75.

It sounds more unappealing by the minute. Of I were the op I'd have rsvd'd that I had a previous engagement.

Whatever happened to a pot luck supper with your besties the week before the wedding.

The bride selected someone to organise it. If people are trying to suggest alternatives then they are being rude. They can decline if they are not happy. Ohhh I truly hate hen parties!

Your friend the organiser, is a presumptuous cheeky fxxker thinking she can organise something she likes the sound of, and think people have no choice but to accept that.

Really bizarre meesed up thinking.
I would be majorly pulling back.
She sounds utterly unhinged.