To not understand why this is an issue

[lunx]

A group of friends are going on a hen do in a few months and the person who has arranged it has found a hotel for £75 a person per night. Someone in the group suggested an apartment as an alternative option as it works out cheaper per person per night at £35 each. But this idea was dismissed. Anyway the person who suggested the apartment asked a few of us what we wanted and several preferred the cheaper option. Especially taking into consideration the cost of travel, night out, new outfit and activities during the day. Now the person who wanted to stay in the £75 a night hotel and others who also wanted to stay there have gone mad at the others who wanted a cheaper alternative. Saying it’s selfish of them because now the others will have to pay more for the hotel and we should all be staying at the same accommodation even though the two accommodations are a short walking walking distance away. I personally don’t see an issue with this as we are still travelling together and spending the day/night together. We are just not sleeping in the same accommodation. Now it’s so awkward in the group. I just don’t understand the issue. Just wanted other’s opinions?

I double they’ll have their own rooms and more than one toilet between 4 in the shared accommodation either.

I agree with you up to a point BUT the organiser should have looked at a range of accommodations and agreed that with everyone based on budget, not convenience.
If moving the location saved me £40 per night, that would make a massive difference.

@Odiebaywhen the group chat was started this was what was discussed but the person arranging it went with what they wanted, the hotel. The group in itself has so many different personalities so we would never all agree on accommodation so feel like this is the best option as we will still all be together with the bride to be for the majority of the time away.

The reason for the expensive hotel is ridiculous. The jacuzzi bath will hardly get used especially if it’s in the same room as the toilet.
the poster that said about starting a poll. I’d suggest this to the planner.

I just think it’s ridiculous to expect people to pay so much to share a room, the should have taken note of the comments of those wanting and finding cheaper

i woukd still go with the cheaper option or not go

What kind of hotel allows four adults to share a room?

@ToKittyornottoKittythe bride to be will stay in the hotel with the organiser. But the organiser doesn’t want the bride to be to know anything so it’s not like we can ask her. But all of us are still willing to chip in to cover her costs. The organiser also wants to book her a stripper and do live drawing. She is not considering the cost of these activities. And just keeps saying the ‘bride will love it’. It just seems to be what she wants.

Where would the bride be staying?
(the people going home won’t be an issue- there’s always people that don’t stay the night when I go away)
I have had people get funny about people finding cheaper accommodation though.

Organizing is horrific. She's made all the arrangements and now someone else has changed it. Stick to the plan or don't go. The dynamic is really different if some are staying elsewhere

The people who booked the apartment can afford it. Should they be excluded because they won't pay extra to keep the cost of the organisers preferred accomodation down?

£75 was the price per night for the hotel, not the total cost.

Fuck that, I'd pull out. The poor bride is going to be pulled right into a load of simmering shit.

I think I'd be saying that if an agreement can't be made then it's not going to work and the bride doesn't deserve it.

Has the organiser done this before or is it her first rodeo?
she needs to be pricing up everything and seeing who is happy to pay for what/ attend which parts etc.
(sorry cross posted about the bride and accommodation)

@PopcornKittenit’s her first time organising a hen do. And to be honest, barely knows the bride but took it upon herself to arrange it. Which is lovely but she doesn’t know the bride that well at all to be planning things she may or may not like

The organiser sounds to me like she wants all the glory of organising a fabulous hen do for the bride whilst spending everyone else’s money. I hate these sort of folk. She’s just chasing the thanks and how it makes her look good. To a lot of people £75 is a lot of money especially once you factor in all the other costs . The £45 is the difference between someone affording it and not affording to go and I’m sure the bride would rather have her friends there rather than stay in a nice hotel .

4 to a room? i'm with pp - this is why i turn down all trips away with friends unless i really really want to go and even then i want my own room.

In all honestly, who cares? I presume the event for the bride is not held in the hotel but rather out and about, who cares where people sleep?

What is it about weddings that always brings out the worst in people?!

75 is nothing for a hen do. It is bloody hard to organise and get the right balance between price and not shit.
Completely changed the dynamic having people stay in different places I feel sorry for the organiser and the bride. Quite a shitty thing to do.
Are you going to critique the price of the restaurant too - are some people going to have a takeaway in the apartment because it’s cheaper.
Ffs you just respect that it’s not your trip and roll with it. It’s very hard to accommodate everyone’s pov.

So it sounds to me a few if you got shirty about who was organising it and decided to car crash it 🫣🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

@Phonicshaskilledmeoff£75 is just for the hotel. It’s £55 travel cost. Then the organiser wants us to chip in to cover bride to be’s cost. Then wants a stripper, then live drawing, then the night out it’s self plus any other cost like breakfast the next day and other meals. All in all it adds up really quickly.

That’s not the price of the hen do, it’s the price of the hotel

@Phonicshaskilledmeoffnot at all. The person organising it is a friend of mine and i really value our friendship. I would never intentionally upset or undermine her. Same as the person who organised the apartment, she is a good friend. But the apartment price, as well as having more space and own bed each appealed to some of us more than the hotel. And it’s months and months away. We can still all make alternate arrangements but the organisers is sticking to wanted the hotel although nothing as being booked yet.

I’d drop out politely. If it’s this bad already the actual trip will be a nightmare.

Maybe someone should speak to the bridge then, if it matters to her she’ll probably go for the cheaper accommodation for everyone. Surely if the cheaper friend has found something at £35 per person based on the group it will cost more if not everyone goes anyway

That’s just for the accommodation

Live drawing as in a drawing class or an artist doing portraits?

I would have expected the organiser to move everyone to the cheaper accommodation if that’s what the majority want even if it’s not what she wants. Or to have her, bride and 2 others in the hotel so the cost is the same. If people are going home because they can’t afford to stay the night then it’s pointless to stay with the higher cost option instead of taking budgets into account. No will have time for a bath with 4 to a room and all-day activities