To not understand why this is an issue

[lunx]

A group of friends are going on a hen do in a few months and the person who has arranged it has found a hotel for £75 a person per night. Someone in the group suggested an apartment as an alternative option as it works out cheaper per person per night at £35 each. But this idea was dismissed. Anyway the person who suggested the apartment asked a few of us what we wanted and several preferred the cheaper option. Especially taking into consideration the cost of travel, night out, new outfit and activities during the day. Now the person who wanted to stay in the £75 a night hotel and others who also wanted to stay there have gone mad at the others who wanted a cheaper alternative. Saying it’s selfish of them because now the others will have to pay more for the hotel and we should all be staying at the same accommodation even though the two accommodations are a short walking walking distance away. I personally don’t see an issue with this as we are still travelling together and spending the day/night together. We are just not sleeping in the same accommodation. Now it’s so awkward in the group. I just don’t understand the issue. Just wanted other’s opinions?

All sounds lovely one friend agreeing to take this on but I suspect she’s being very naive and also will be thinking about what she wants rather than the bride. Shes probably got the best intentions but isn’t executing anything well.

I don't understand why the going-home people are angry at the £35 people on the bride's behalf. Neither group will be staying at the hotel with the bride and the organiser so if there is upset, inconvenience, or missed together time because of splitting up, the going-homers are as responsible for that as the £35ers. Perhaps more so, as they'll likely be spending even less time with the larger group AND because they began the trend of not staying at the hotel. As they've opted out of staying over at all, It's not really any of their business where anyone else spends the night.

Personally I'd prefer a hotel to an apartment (unless it's an apart-hotel set up), but if several guests can't afford the hotel, switching to cheaper accommodation that suits everyone before any reservations were made would have been the logical and fairest choice, unless the organiser knew the bride wanted that specific hotel or type of hotel and was willing to risk multiple guests opting out altogether.

Something like a hen do I would have thought an apartment/house with a communal area and kitchen was the better option than a hotel.

I don’t understand the comment about splitting the group the organiser has given a hotel is essentially splitting the group into a lot of smaller groups

As for the going home people. Again what are they on about given they are doing exactly what they are accusing the apartment section of people of doing. If they were so concerned about keeping in a group they would have stayed.

It's really odd that someone that doesn't know the bride that well is the organiser! Not normal

You've both acted poorly. The organiser should have got a rough idea of budgets before making plans, and you shouldn't have booked separate accommodation that's split the group and impacted others.

It all sounds mad to be honest someone who hardly knows the bride organizing the hen, a group of people leaving because they can't afford to stay being mad at another group of people who are staying....

There's either a lot more to this or it's going to devolve into an absolute calamity.

4 people per room for £75!

Nothing wrong with trying to organise everyone in the same place but equally there’s nothing wrong with people wanting to do what is comfortable financially for them.

The organiser likely feels her choices are being judged and undermined, and had her own expectations of what it would be like, but she needs to understand that it’s not working for everyone. As you say you will all be together the majority of the time and they’re a short walk away.

Organising these events is always a nightmare, there is no pleasing everyone, should have been a proper discussion upfront in terms of everyones budget, but have to say splitting off into different groups like has happened is not great, think it will create a divide on the hen night.

This doesn't make sense - if they couldn't afford the £75 then they couldn't have gone in any event, so finding the £35 place hasn't increased the price for others

Organising these things is a massive pain in the ass. If the girl organising has spent hours researching hotels and reading reviews and someone else chirps up with something else - it is very annoying. And yes the group will be splitting staying in separate accommodation.

"own bed !!! " WTF
The organiser wanted people to share beds ?

I personally think the person who organised it is offended and i get that 100%. But it comes across that she booked what she wanted but she heard the hotel was nice. And dismissed others preferences from the get go. I don’t understand how staying in cheaper accommodation is a bad thing but going home isn’t. The last train home is 9.30 so if we didn’t find cheaper accommodation more than half the party wouldn’t be there past 9.

I was wondering what the sleeping arrangements were with 4 to a room.

I've sometimes seen hotel rooms with 2 double beds and couldn't really work out what sort of group they were aimed at.

@oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriendsyes! It’s two double beds per room with 4 in a room.

I think if the bride has given someone the job to organise it then let them get on with it. Another idea was suggested but vitoed so it's then rude to then try to split the group up. Of course created a divide with 2 groups of people staying in different places. £75 isn't expensive for a hotel.

ÝANBU OP.

Sadly some hen do organisers get carried away and just book what they want 🙄 and expect everyone else to pay. There should’ve been a proper discussion about costs before anything was booked.

I’d probably be swerving this do as tensions will most likely boil over nearer the time and sour the event. And as for booking a stripper 🤮 tacky as feck.

You need to dodge a bullet here OP 😂

Is the new outfits idea a recent thing? I've seen it twice in the last few days.

I would never buy new for a hen do, even if I was told it was expected. I'd just reach into the back of my wardrobe, wear something I'm rarely seen in, and claim it to be new if challenged.

Unless the new outfits are meant to match? So strange!

This is what I hate organizing this kind of thing! It’s a thankless task and you can never keep everyone happy

Do the people going even want to share 4 to a room? My friends and I are all going away for a weekend and the majority have opted to have their own rooms. £300 to share a room 4 ways and more importantly a bathroom 4 ways is a lot!

I do now think its a bit crap.

It will end up feeling like 2 separate dos once the apartment people go back to the apartment and the hotel people back to the hotel, ... Even before when everyone first gets to the respective accommodations , its like 2 separate groups meeting up then going separate ways.

I feel sorry for the bride as she knows nothing of this and will end up stuck in the middle

The hotel organiser should have been more open to suggestions but I don't think a separate apartment should have been booked and the going home people should have stuck to going home rather than now doing their own apartment thing

@Purpleturtle45the bride hasn’t gave anyone the task. We are her work friends. She’s having a completely separate hen do for her personal friends on another date. This is all being arranged without her knowledge. She knows ones being planned and that’s it. She doesn’t even know that date. It’s a lovely idea in theory but it’s giving everyone a headache already. I think i’m going to politely drop out. If groups have formed already I’m dreading the actual day. Regarding outfits, the organiser wants us all in matching tops which is another cost. And her argument about us all staying in the same hotel is so we can get ready and leave together. Which surley an apartment would cater to this idea better. Not a small hotel room where we are separated anyway due to individual rooms.

Good grief, all of this swapping and changing, arguing and nonsense would be my cue to say I can’t make it.

Generally rented accommodation has an extra cleaning charge etc so has this been factored in? £75 isn’t unreasonable for a hotel especially if it includes breakfast. Having a kitty for the evening celebrations should be factored in to avoid any further angst

Sounds like a nightmare. Why cant work colleagues just go for lunch, or a drink after work?

Women really need to cop themselves on and realise that these expensive Hens are ridiculous unnecessary pressure that they simply don't have to bow to.

You aren't even her closest friends.
£75 a night to share with 3 others?🙄

These kind of reasons are why I dodged some hen do’s.
Can’t you just go out local for a meal and drinks as you work together you must all live within a commutable distance? I assume the organiser needs this for herself in some way.