Found cocaine in DP’s pocket

[JustVolt]

I've been with DP for nearly 4 years and we have A just turned 3 year old and im 33 weeks pregnant (nearly 34). He struggled with his MH a lot throughout his teens, he medicated with drugs, weed and later cocaine. When we got together we conceived quite fast and obviously unplanned!

After DS was born he started struggling mentally again but it wasn't immediately obvious, maybe I should've noticed but baby had trouble feeding/didn't sleep and I was just exhausted and I thought the same for him. Fast forward to me finding out he was taking drugs and we split briefly, in July 2024 when DS was 18mo DP was sectioned and was diagnosed with bipolar was put on medication and while it was a lot of trial and error he seemed stable after a while and we got back together.

He's not taken drugs for over a year, since he was sectioned. The medication had really helped him and he's really present with me and DS and everythings been fine, he's happy about the pregnacy etc. Every time he used to get an urge he'd put the money he would've spent into savings for a holiday/something for DS/just anything really. I don't think he does it anymore at least not often, it was more just early on

He went out earlier for a few drinks with friends from work, he got back quite drunk and out of it. he's currently asleep, I picked up the trousers he had been wearing and I found a bag of cocaine in his pocket. My head is spinning, DS is asleep, DP is asleep and there's no use waking him when he'll just be out if it and not able to have a proper conversation about it

I just needed to put this somewhere, sorry if this is all over the place. I'm in shock and don't know what to do

Nope you just don't underdtaand drug use

Yeah let's talk about adults having babies after a few months

I don't get the judgement of having DS very early on, yes it was obviously an unplanned pregnancy but what do you expect me to do? He's here now and he's 3. So much for good advice.

Was it an empty packet ? Or full ?

why is is a "lol"? The op's partner has previosuly been sectioned,diagnosed and is on meds for Bipolar disorder. You aren't even meant to drink on Bipolar meds never mind take drugs.

Take your child and leave. You cannot have drugs in the house with children ?!

I wouldn't even pay them any mind love, I'm sure somewhere in their bloodline there's women who have done exactly the same🙄

Just please safeguard those babies of yours and get rid, take a fool's advice xx

He is not safe to be around your child as he brought something so dangerous into the house where they could potentially have found it. The results could have been hideous. He has to move out while he gets himself properly sorted at the very least.

He has put your dc at risk, by being under the influence and leaving it around where he could find it. Could you ever trust him alone with him let alone a baby?

This.

When you continue a pattern of not the best decisions yes people will make judgements.

Why did you go on to create a second baby with this man knowing he was a drug abuser along with his other issues?

It’s not even as years and years had passed and you were able to see that he really turned his life around. All of this has happened within a pretty short window of time.

If he hasn’t changed after having two children, when will he?

You have to decide if you’re going to stick around and put up with this behaviour or if you’re going to put your children first and leave.

@MyNoisyShark are you alright? You're jumping on others comments and writing critical responses. You seem to be taking this way too personally.

This is excellent advice.

Do you really think OP needs to hear that “coke is great”?

45 mins after taking it you can sleep? What absolute bollocks.

And coke is definitely not great. It's arguably one of the worst drugs because people can be functioning addicts. You can hide being a coke head, to an extent, and by the time those around you realise you have a problem, you're in waaaaay too deep.

That's nothing to do with You!

Your partner was taking drugs when you met him and after your first pregnancy - and most probably during it too. He was then actually sectioned. Yet you've chosen to bring another child into this mess. Get this man out of your life and protect your children.

if the bag is still full he didn't take it? Why’d he buy it though…. or was he keeping it for a mate.

so many questions to ask.

Nope. She's been. Terrible mother having two

Get rid there are far better and cheaper ways to help your mental health.
A good session at the gym for one
A good game of football.
Getting drunk and taking cocaine what a prince not.

How the hell does he think that's attractive?

The timeline of ops pregnancy is not relevant- she’s said it was an accident. Every single person having sex risks an unplanned pregnancy.
OP- your husband is going to have his MH issues for life, and as a result probably addiction. You have a choice to accept this as your future- these stable and unstable periods will be normal and will fluctuate. Most of the time in these situations, the well person ends up setting themselves on fire to keep the other warm. Make no mistake it will be difficult and draining. Your other option is to leave. 4 years in with young children, this is probably the most sensible decision for the wellbeing of you all. Sending love x

I had similar with my daughters dad he kept doing drugs and lying when i was pregnant, i left him and he only had supervised access with baby and i said if he kept doing drugs hed lose that too, gave him loads of chances but , he kept doing it again and lying, shes 16 months old and just found out yet again after thinking hed been clean for the last 7 months. He lost his job and was barely turning up to visits so clearly things are getting even worse. That was his last chance and ive cut him out of our lives now as hes clearly not going to stop and i want to protect my daughter from the stress and chaos

Some really judgemental people on here—like you OP I fell pregnant very early in a relationship and now have a 3 year old too who is extremely loved and wanted.

I also have recently left her father when I found out he’s a high functioning coke addict, he has MH issues too including PTSD.

I think as someone else mentioned rather than confronting him straightaway, see if you can find any more evidence before he starts trying to cover his tracks so you can get a full picture of how often he’s using and what’s been spent.

You really are a noisy shark. Pipe down, bullying OP and hopping on pp’s posts, are you coming down today off something?? Cranky.

OP you need to protect yourself and your children here. He's clearly got some serious issues going on and it's not your job to fix him. I would go nuclear if DH came home and had left drugs in the house anywhere with a young child about. It's reckless and it takes a moment for something life changing to happen.

You must be in bits, but he needs to leave for your safety.