Found cocaine in DP’s pocket

[JustVolt]

I've been with DP for nearly 4 years and we have A just turned 3 year old and im 33 weeks pregnant (nearly 34). He struggled with his MH a lot throughout his teens, he medicated with drugs, weed and later cocaine. When we got together we conceived quite fast and obviously unplanned!

After DS was born he started struggling mentally again but it wasn't immediately obvious, maybe I should've noticed but baby had trouble feeding/didn't sleep and I was just exhausted and I thought the same for him. Fast forward to me finding out he was taking drugs and we split briefly, in July 2024 when DS was 18mo DP was sectioned and was diagnosed with bipolar was put on medication and while it was a lot of trial and error he seemed stable after a while and we got back together.

He's not taken drugs for over a year, since he was sectioned. The medication had really helped him and he's really present with me and DS and everythings been fine, he's happy about the pregnacy etc. Every time he used to get an urge he'd put the money he would've spent into savings for a holiday/something for DS/just anything really. I don't think he does it anymore at least not often, it was more just early on

He went out earlier for a few drinks with friends from work, he got back quite drunk and out of it. he's currently asleep, I picked up the trousers he had been wearing and I found a bag of cocaine in his pocket. My head is spinning, DS is asleep, DP is asleep and there's no use waking him when he'll just be out if it and not able to have a proper conversation about it

I just needed to put this somewhere, sorry if this is all over the place. I'm in shock and don't know what to do

You and your kids deserve more than this

Exactly but she knew him for three menstrual cycles and than made a baby

Please get him away from your children. I had a friend who tried to stick by her addict husband. He was clean for periods, then he’d relapse and lie. He eventually lost his job over it, stole money from a mutual friend to buy more drugs and finally went on a huge bender when in the care of his child, when he was supposedly clean again. He was seconds from driving with his toddler son in the car, high as a kite but thankfully someone spotted him and rang the police and stopped him. We all kept telling her to leave him but she wouldn’t and it almost cost her her son. If he had been allowed to drive off that day, goodness knows what would have happened.

Your other half has brought drugs into your home, left the packet in his trousers and risked your child picking this up. Please put them first. Life with an addict is not fun and kids don’t deserve to have this life forced on them, whilst you try to be his Florence Nightingale. He needs proper help and you need to focus on your children. I’m sorry this is happening to you and whilst you’re heavily pregnant too. He’s a piece of work to do this.

This is the best advice you’ll get.
be prepared to fuck him off though. CN I ask was baby 2 planned?? You had your first kid quite quickly - a LOT seems to have gone on since then - and here you are bringing another baby into it.

But there are never any red flags according to mn

He's asleep, so pack his bags and show him the door when he wakes up. It's a no-brainer, really.

Imagine if your child had found it?

I could never put a partner above my child. Never.
I would be absolutely stone cold about it.
There wouldn't be another chance.

You believe it's cocaine, which is bad enough, but does it contain fentanyl as well? You haven't a clue.

I'd probably be so livid that I'd call police and have him removed from the home.
He's had all his chances.

Taking drugs over the age of 25 is not the flex you think it is.

Op please protect your kids from this. You as a single adult working through his relapses is one thing but imagine how tough it will be for your kids to grow up with that going on at home. They will definitely be aware on some level.

There is also a danger that if SS gets involved it seems like you are willing to put your kids in a dangerous situation to protect your marriage.

Coke wears off really quick imo. Things like MDMA last for hours but I used to find that coke the buzz went away after like an hour. (Haven't touched it in almost 9 years 🥳)

I was offered coke a a few times i declined. I think you must bring it up with the person.

If she doesn't kick him out she is.

Lol lol lol omfg

100% and I hope I didn’t come across like I thought it was, just voicing my late teen experience. It’s not ok as a teen and it’s defo not ok as an adult with a family

Ok but why get pregnant so quickly

Photograph it, evidence. Document his behaviour. I acrually think the above is good advice.
If he doesn't tell you, rhen he's at it again and it isn't safe for him to be around the kids. Which means you need evidence to keep the kids safe and him have supervised contact.
I know this has come as a shock, and you're very pregnant, hormonal and have a lot of your plate. But it is not okay that he brought drugs into your home with a little one. It doesn't actually matter if he has or hasn't taken them- he was tempted, he got some, he brought it into your home with a chikd, and given the history- he was okay doing that knowing he could lose his family.
End the relationship. Make a plan.

Totally irrelevant.

If he’s home asleep, it’s either not coke or he hasn’t really touched it.

Keep it hidden somewhere, and see what he says tomorrow.

if it was his it would be empty...

As he is a recovering addict with fragile mh, this is a huge deal, not an odd slip up, I don’t know what way is best as he’ll be in full deflection mode, as an ex addict he shouldn’t even be drinking.
He is an expert at hiding things so doubt it is a one off.
He needs longterm help to conquer addiction and deal with his mental health. You’ll be dragged along the way with him.

It depends on the quality and purity of the coke, what it's cut with, how much alcohol you've had with it, your personal tolerance...loads of things. But yeah, broadly you'll feel the pronounced 'buzz' for about an hour, and it'll get shorter as the night goes on if you keep doing it.

With that said, unless you're taking some absolutely awful '3-for-£100' rubbish, it's highly unlikely that you'll be able to drift off into a good night's sleep directly after a lengthy session, unless you've had a lot of alcohol/weed/diazepam to balance it out. Perhaps if you've just had a couple of lines and gone home, but for most people the, fidgeting, sweating, heart-pounding etc can keep you awake for hours after a 6am finish on the bag.

Anyone claiming that only bad coke keeps you awake simply doesn't know what they're talking about. It's true that there have been periods where a lot of the street supply had as much (or more) speed in it than coke due to cost and supply issues, and that really does keep you awake. But anyone who's had a sleepless week in Colombia knows the score.

Everyone is different though - I knew a guy back in the day who could close his eyes after a line and doze off 🤷🏻‍♂️

Your poor children. What a future.

Hardly a lengthy session if he's home with his bag

You had a child with a man you barely knew.
He then went on to show you who he is and you created another life with him which was a huge risk.

Someone who is an addict is an addict for life, it’s risky, draining and you need to weigh up if this is the life you’re willing to live for you and your children.

you picked up a looser and surprised thats what he is. Get him out of your home before he messes up the child and makes him think drugs and alcohol abuse are normal

Ive never taken drugs but after a quick google the PP poster seems to be correct. Depending on the method its taken a few websites say the high only lasts around 30min