To leave friend sitting in her car outside my house as she's arrived 90 minutes early

[youretooearly]

I invited my friend over to my house for a takeaway tonight. She asked what time and I said about 6pm. She responded to say she was planning to leave her house shortly (this was about 3.30pm) as she has never been to my house before and wanted to find her way before it got dark. She said not to worry she would just "hang around" somewhere and wouldn't impose. I assumed she meant she would go to a nearby coffee shop or something. I wasn't at home at that stage and told her so. I got home about 45 minutes ago and planned to use the time before she arrived to do more preparation for a job interview I have on Monday.

I walked into my living room about half an hour ago and noticed her car sitting outside my house! So she was here at least 1 hour 20 minutes early. I was shocked. I haven't acknowledged that I've seen her or invited her in yet. She's sent me a message 15 minutes ago "let me know when you're ready". I feel a bit angry that she's turned up so early! I said 6pm for a reason and now feel under pressure to let her in.

??

OP says “come round at 6”

person arrives at FOUR THIRTY, sits outside in their car and says “let me know when you’re ready”….

….and you say OP is th weird one??

Leaving her outside because she arrived too early is something I would need to do.

But I'm bonkers. And I'm assuming you're not.

So you should probably let her in. Explain about the interview. Give her a coffee, plonk her in front the TV and go do what you need to do. If she gets the humpf that's her problem. She made the decision to arrive ridiculously early.

You were on about a 'friend' of yours who annoyed you by always turning up early, which suggested it's happened quite often.

It's only happened ONCE to the OP.

That is 'exactly why I am quoting you.'

Not too hard to figure out.

Leaving a friend outside in the car for an HOUR AND A HALF, purely because she turned up too early - ONCE - is top tier shitty behaviour, and not something a friend should do. It's dark, and cold, and windy, and pissing down. Leaving someone outside for an hour and a half, as the OP has done is lousy behaviour, and more 'weird' than the 'friend' turning up too early.

If that was the case she needed to communicate that need rather than turn up 90 minutes early and expect to be hosted.The OP could just as easily have had a trying day and needed the time to decompress.

We have no idea what the OP has done since 17.11 as she hasn't posted an update.

Jesus Christ. Why are you policing responses like some vigilante moderator? Please understand that your perspective isn’t wanted. Touch grass.

Tbf I like to arrive in the light - I find navigating in the dark much harder and if parking is tight then it gives me time to find a nice space without feeling under time pressure.

So there are times when I have arrived ridiculously early. I bring stuff to do and have a peaceful time in the car all on my own.
And if I was sitting outside and they arrived home, and I knew they'd seen me then I'd feel I had to send a text to acknowledge that. If they replied saying do come in now, then I'd go, but in all honesty I'd be enjoying that peace and quite happy in the car.

I do really enjoy time on my own with no pressure to do anything though.

Both OP and friend are weird

Friend for sitting in car outside house for ages. If you arrive hours in advance, park up and go for a walk or something.

And OP for seeing friend is parked in drive but acting like she doesn't know.

Bizarre behaviour on both sides.

You haven’t answered but it reminded me of the time I was invited to a friend for tea and cake. I was 20 minutes early. I got public transport so you can never be sure of the time. Anyway I knocked on the door and felt like I had made a huge mistake in knocking early. I should have wandered the side streets instead. I don’t think I bothered going back again.

Who chuffing does that?! That's just as crazy behaviour as arriving 90 minutes early! At least the friend explained her reasoning, some people really are that nervous about driving to a new place in the dark.

Normal people would let their friend in, make a joke about how insanely early she is, make her a brew and tell her to make herself comfortable while you finish your job interview prep in another room.

But she had other plans - why should she just drop them because her friend showed up 90 minutes early?

And the friend definitely did expect to be hosted - otherwise she’d not have text OP well in advance or parked within eyeshot of her house 🫣

This
People blaming OP for not sticking to "social norms " and being a bad friend
When the early bird is totally taking the piss.
My pal does this and rushes me along
Left early because she was bored and wanted entertained

What a strange friend you are.

True. I can see it from both perspectives.

Note to self:
Meet at the restaurant when times are extra busy.

The friend is a bit over the top; but the OP is infinitely worse with an attitude like hers!

Oh f** hell your friend came and hour and a bit early
So you are leaving her outside 😂 I hope she drops you like a hot potato
She left early as she hadn't been before and was worried about driving in the dark , not because she's nuts
Wtf you sound insane. I would have invited in and offered a tea and said I need to go in the other room to finish my job prep and I'll be with you in an hour - here's the TV remote
🙄

Let her in I hate trying to find an address in an area I’m not used to. Even harder when it’s dark. I rely on Google maps and she must have been desperate for a wee.

With friends like you who would need enemies? You are weird.

Only on Mumsnet. Leave her outside OP. Then treat all your friends like this and you soon won’t have any. Problem solved. 🙄

How d’ya figure that? hahaha

OP 👇
”Seeya at 6! 😌” (all nice & everything)

If a friend did this to me I’d just turn around and go home , it’s awful leaving her outside

She obviously an anxious driver and scared to drive in the dark especially when she's unsure of how to get there. I can relate. I hate driving. If you are actually her friend then of course you let her in. If you needed to do work you could even just let her in, make her a cuppa, pop the TV on and say you've something to do and you'll be down in 30. YABU

Of course you don’t leave a friend outside.
I’m surprised you have to ask.