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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

6 week post stillbirth

87 replies

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 19:20

I recently experienced a stillbirth. I have my 6 week checkup coming up and im getting very nervous to go. Does anyone know if its ok to skip it? I also just got what i think is my first period. It was very light and lasted for 4 days. Did anyone else experience such a thing. Did you ovulate right away or did you have a few cycles?

OP posts:
Tammygirl12 · 23/01/2026 19:21

I don’t have any advice but I’m so sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about your baby, what was their name?

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 19:25

He was fullterm. There was a knot in the chord. Im trying to take day by day

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Luckyforsome23 · 23/01/2026 19:26

Unless you ask for it there is no physical exam at the 6 week check. It is just a chance to ask about your recovery and get advice on any symptoms. You could ask about your bleeding. If you don’t want it you can cancel it.

redshoes2017 · 23/01/2026 19:26

I can’t remember how quickly my cycles returned to normal as my stillbirth was a long time ago but may I gently suggest that you still go to your check up. It’s important that you are checked over. I know you may not feel up to it and I’m conscious of saying the wrong thing to you but please go and get checked over . I’m so sorry for your recent loss .

newmumlovescakr · 23/01/2026 19:29

Didn’t want to read and run. I am so so sorry for your loss. Sending so much internet love and compassion your way.

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 19:31

I understand that its probably better for me to go but its way to traumatic for me to go right now. i may do over the phone.

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DorisTheFinkasaurus · 23/01/2026 19:33

Oh OP. I have no decent words… just loving hugs. I have travelled this path. It’s been almost 15 years ago now. I honestly can’t remember if I went to my postnatal check. I’m fairly sure that I did have a check just to make sure there was no risk of infection and the rest. I was in such a fog for quite a while. My memories of the days and months after are hazy. But the feeling is never forgotten. Your love for your baby boy will help you navigate and eventually transcend this grief. 💙 I’m just terribly sorry… words can’t express how sorry I am for you and your family.
Would you like to tell us your son’s name?

ItsameLuigi · 23/01/2026 19:36

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 19:31

I understand that its probably better for me to go but its way to traumatic for me to go right now. i may do over the phone.

Ask if you can switch to a phone call instead of face to face. I'm sure they'll be understanding of the circumstances. I'm sending you so much love.

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 19:36

i really appreciate all your kind words. it warms my heart. The grief comes in waves. and when it hits i need to just embrace it. and deal with it and know it isnt going away. The are good days and some really hard days

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OCDmama · 23/01/2026 19:38

Not a stillbirth but miscarriage. My GP wanted a check up to ensure everything was okay physically as it had been very complicated. He was wonderfully kind and I felt a lot of comfort. Do you know your GP? Is there one you trust you could ask for? I agree it would be good to get yourself checked.

I'm so sorry this happened.

Bumblingbee101 · 23/01/2026 19:41

@rosepedal I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, I can only imagine how hard it is for you. The 6 week check is normally to ask questions but to check any incisions or stitches are healing properly and no signs of infection. Perhaps ask someone to ring the surgery on your behalf and they may move it to a telephone call in the first instance before arranging a face to face. Would you like to talk about him? We are all ears lovely. Sending big, gentle hugs your way. 🫂

Bougainsillier · 23/01/2026 19:41

I’m so sorry for your loss OP; I cannot imagine your pain.
If you can bring yourself to go I think a general check up of your whole wellbeing would be good.

Mcdhotchoc · 23/01/2026 19:43

If you do go, make absolutely certain that you are not booked in a block of 6 week checks etc. My last GP used to do them all at once point of the week eg Wednesday morning

Placetobreathe · 23/01/2026 19:44

I'm just so , so sorry OP.

I've been through a similar loss myself so I really can empathise with how you must be feeling.

Sending you love

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 19:54

i called and they said i can do a phone call. So that is a big relief. i just want to see my cycles going back to normal, periods and ovulation

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TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 23/01/2026 19:59

I was ovulating again within 2 months. I had one period maybe 6-8 weeks after DD1 was stillborn, and then got pregnant again in month 3. DD2 was born almost exactly a year after DD1.

Oxborn · 23/01/2026 20:01

So so sorry for your loss x

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 20:01

Thats wonderrful to hear

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rosepedal · 23/01/2026 20:03

im trying to chill out about ttc again. i dont want to become neurotic. it can make you go crazy

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pimplebum · 23/01/2026 20:04

so so sorry to hear of this, do you want to tell us more about your wonderful boy ? Did he look like your side of the family ?

big hugs and prayers

RosesAndHellebores · 23/01/2026 20:08

Honestly @rosepedal it was 28.5 years ago for me now - slightly different circs as ds2 was born, unwell, at 27 weeks. I have very little recollection of that time, but didn't have the 6 week check as I couldn't face it. DD was born 51 weeks later and I was very well looked after. It was a very cathartic birth.

With love.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 23/01/2026 20:10

Just want to wish you well, on what must be a tough road ❤️. My condolences, may your baby boy rest in eternal peace xx

rosepedal · 23/01/2026 20:10

RosesAndHellebores thats amazing to hear. i feel like you understand me, that i cant in any way imagine walking into that office now after hearing the traumatic news. i hope one day very soon ill go with better news

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Wallabyone · 23/01/2026 20:11

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️

WonderingWanda · 23/01/2026 20:13

I also just wanted to say I'm so sorry that you've gone through that and can totally understand, as I am sure your gp why the 6 week check is so difficult for you. Sending love and strength your way.