To not want DH to WFH on my day off?

[thatsperfectlyfine]

I know. I am BU, but I really am a bit gutted.

He gets under my feet, leaves a mess in the kitchen, can hear constant loud Teams meeting, feel sort of watched even though I’m not.

Waiting to be roasted to a dry crisp now …

I'm with you. I feel like I can't do anything when he's WFH. I do 4 days because my mental health needs and full time are not compatible and on my day off I just want to be alone!

Ergh, if it's your only day off then you want to relax. Can you secretly change the day?

You're not being unreasonable to want this. Whether you'd be unreasonable to try and insist on him not WFH on your day off would depend on various things, like is that his regular wfh day and you could have picked a non-wfh day easily enough, does he have an easy option for going into the office etc.

I'm definitely with you on the key desire though!

I WFH and H is retired. He seriously needs to get out more .... he's just always sulking about. Cuts both ways but I feel you totally... I never get any time alone.

Change your day off. Tell him your employer made you change it?

ltb babe xx

Well if he works from home generally, where are you expecting him to go? If you're expecting him to go into work, what's his commute?

No roasting from me.
I would hate this. It's your day off and he's encroaching on it.
When my husband went part time I asked him to arrange separate days off; he understood.

Not unreasonable at all. On a day off I like to get things done, clean a room and know it will stay clean. I don’t like having to avoid the dinning room where DP works and put hoover off if he’s on teams. He also asks when I’m back if I nip out when otherwise I’d not have to plan ahead!

I will need to get mine ti take up golf or something

I teach. Changing my day off would be September at the earliest (and part of me childishly thinks why the hell should i …)

He can do what he wants, where he wants, when he wants, just gutted he’s exercised that right on MY day 😭

DH goes to a workspace for his benefit and to give me some time at home. It works well for us.

A home is a home fist and foremost. So normal household things come first at home, even if someone was working from home. Some obvious exceptions would be if the person was doing a presentation to the c-suite, interview or there’s an expected redundancy announcement. JT they should be the exception and not the rule. If important presentations and interviews are a regular occurrence, they need to go to the office.

If the teams is too loud, he needs to wear ear/headphones. If you can’t do what you want because he can hear the TV in the background, he needs to wear ear/headphones. He’s also a grown man so should be able to clean up after himself in the kitchen, whether he’s working from or not.

My husband wfh everyday. No office days at all so whenever I have a days AL he is here working.
Drives me insane as I never get a day to myself.

Thing is @WhereIsMyLight i know … but it’s as if I can sense his presence even when he’s not actually doing anything annoying! I just know he’s there and he annoys me 🤣

Yeah … <lockdown memories> I hear you. This would be my idea of torture.

I make a point of going into the office on DH's days off.

I know it drives him mad with me constantly being on calls, even with a headset and the door closed there's a hum of chatter pretty much all day. Equally it drives me mad when he keeps asking me if I've got 5 minutes to help him with whatever DIY thing he's doing.

I feel your pain, I’m a SAHM, but do bits and pieces as and when to suit me, which is epic! However, when DH decides to wfh it does my head in, really loud teams calls, behaves like a manchild
can’t possibly make himself something to eat. Offers to help around the house then makes twice as much work when he does do anything. I now snarl at him each time he comes out of his office, throw food and drink in at times to suit me and offer to join his teams calls and give any advice if feel I can offer, interestingly he’s declined that offer and seems to go into the office more!

I hear you, you definitely won't get roasted (mmm, crisps 😁).
Needing to be alone is perfectly normal.
Discussion with husband?
However, what are you all going to do, when husbands retire?
(And very possibly, you will be retired as well).

Can you not ask him to work in the office on your day off?

I have tried to suggest he changes it to a Monday but no, only Friday will do apparently.

It’s pretty common for Friday’s to be the day chosen to work from home

Yes, that’s his argument too. Still gutted.

YADNBU
My husband WFH all the time. It was a factor in me going back to full time.

YANBU at all, my DH is self-employed so he takes random days off when he doesn't feel like working, and as a neurodivergent person it's horrible because I need a certain amount of time alone at home, without being percieved and interrupted.

It's not a want for me, it's a need. Without it I stop functioning and it all goes to hell.

Also I want some days of everything being where I left it and complete peace. Also, men just tend to spread all of their energy and presence around the house even when they're doing nothing, if that makes sense!