Dads using female communal changing room

[Strawberrryfields]

Not sure how I feel about this so looking for opinions and whether I should do anything.

A couple of times recently I’ve been changing my child after swimming and a dad has come in to change his child in the communal female changing room. It’s after lessons so only children changing. There are communal female, communal male and a number of individual cubicles. It gets very busy at peak times so at times you may need to wait for an individual cubicle.

It feels weird to me a grown man being in there and my instinct is that he should use the private cubicles, though he is clearly there with his child helping them get ready. I also understand him not wanting to take his child into the men’s communal changing rooms with random men in there but to me, he is a random man.

Should I say something? Would you? Chances are it’s just a normal dad changing his kid but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it but not sure if IABU?

Yeah that's why I said he should use a private booth in either. If he's changing himself then they should probably use the mens, but either way they shouldn't be in a communal space for either sex. I guess a private booth in women's might be best, but then again if a woman saw him on the way in/out they might get concerned.

It depends a lot on if the communal bits need to be crossed or looked at to enter the private booths.

A man cannot use a private booth in the women’s to change a female child. That’s against the law. And he should take that child into the men’s. And change her there (whether in a private booth or not is irrelevant because she’s with a parent and therefore the safeguarding risk is minimal)

I would not be happy with my child age 9 or age 10, boy or girl, being in a changing room on their own with adults. Age 11 would depend on the child.

One I would have been ok with.
The other no. Catch a train on their own. Yes. But get naked with a bunch of strangers and tell me if something happened or they needed help or be sure they could defend themselves whilst naked on their own. No.

Abusers can be male or female.

I can’t make sense of this.

Use a family room if available.

If not, under 8s go with parents (mum in women’s, dad in mens).

The child changes in a cubicle if they’re in an opposite sex changing room.

whats all this multiple dads business?

Then you can make the decision not to send your child to activities where that might happen.

What's the sex of the child the Dad is with?

Doesn’t matter.

Had this years ago, won’t use the boys so as not to upset his girls, but our girls were embarrassed by him. Staff put a note on the door which they ignored. I reported them every week and staff came and spoke to them. After 3 weeks they got the message. Why is is always females who have to compromise

It's a common issue and it's because people don't think it through, and they go to the changing room that matches the child, because they are the ones getting changed.
The centre should have a rule about what age people can be in the "wrong" room up until (which will certainly be single digits)
Definitely report, it will 100% just be a mistake/unthinking, however if people do do it, then it provides cover for those who it isn't a mistake for!

I would love to understand this man’s logic to going in the women’s.

I'd bet good money that the reason they're choosing changing room based on their kid's sex is beciase they think that's the rule and since it's multiple men I reckon a member of staff is telling them that's the policy when they ask. (Perhaps wrongly.)

they just need to obey the law.

Who does? Which law? Where did I say they shouldn't?

Of course it does, or should girls be changed in the mens?

Ah ok. Thank you. I didn't know that. So I guess he needs to use the mens by law.

A lot of posters are saying it's unsavoury for a young girl to potentially see nude men though. So I do feel like it must be hard to know what to do sometimes.

The centre and the adults of either sex.

the law in question is the equality act 2010 as clarified in the For Women Scotland case by the Supreme Court.

If they are u8 and with their father then yes

This.

It's been clarified by the supreme court recently.

It's not difficult.

Ah fair enough I thought you were taking issue with what I'd posted, as opposed to agreeing

Where would you have 15 year old boys changing during general sessions, in the women's changing rooms?

Can you access the family change cubicles without going into the men or women’s changing areas, e.g. some pools have two doors so you can access a cubicle from both sides. The real answer is to have more family change cubicles recognising more dads take young children swimming these days.

Or an older girl/woman wanting to get changed to start their session after the kids one has ended..

It is not on. Men should not be in female changing rooms where females are routinely naked.

Why the f*ck does this need to be spelled out... 🤦🏼‍♀️

Thank goodness I hate swimming. I wouldn't put up with it and he would get a piece of my mind.

Well I was in as much as you’re saying the centre should have a rule and a load of waffle about people didn’t know. And they don’t think.

ignorance of the law is no defence.

Surely the common-sense rule is you take your child into the changing rooms matching the sex of the adult?

Absolutely raise it.

How do you do this in a swimming pool built in the 1950 or 1960 with no additional space to put them?!

There's a shortage of swimming pools as it is .

It's pathetic. Just bloody get on with it. No men in the girls, no women in the boys.

definitely shouldn't be in there - report & let the club sort it out