Dads using female communal changing room

[Strawberrryfields]

Not sure how I feel about this so looking for opinions and whether I should do anything.

A couple of times recently I’ve been changing my child after swimming and a dad has come in to change his child in the communal female changing room. It’s after lessons so only children changing. There are communal female, communal male and a number of individual cubicles. It gets very busy at peak times so at times you may need to wait for an individual cubicle.

It feels weird to me a grown man being in there and my instinct is that he should use the private cubicles, though he is clearly there with his child helping them get ready. I also understand him not wanting to take his child into the men’s communal changing rooms with random men in there but to me, he is a random man.

Should I say something? Would you? Chances are it’s just a normal dad changing his kid but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it but not sure if IABU?

Then they wait for a cubicle or go to the men’s. It’s not sad at all to not want girls changing in front of unknown men in a female changing room

It’s children up to age 11. From age 9 in schools, boys and girls change separately. The children are generally uncomfortable changing together at that age. Puberty can start at that age. I’ve been with 10 and 11 year old girls changing and they panic if they think any boys or men might be able to see.

To say that it doesn’t matter because they are children is very wrong. It does matter to the children. They will be uncomfortable and we need to protect their right to change in a safe and comfortable environment.

This is why centres generally say only 8 and under in the opposite sex changing.

In this case, the children are up to 11. Therefore no male over the age of 8 should be in with the females.

I’m not sure if anyone has said this, but as a mum of all boys (who has tried to take them swimming but stopped for this reason). Do you have any idea how scary it is for an 8 year old boy to see men between 20-80+) walking around them completely naked whilst they are alone in there!?
Whilst I agree that a man should not be in the female changing rooms, I sometimes think boys are considered second class citizens on MN.
My youngest 2 also have SEN, so struggle with changing themselves etc, it’s all being well saying use the disabled, but there is usually only one and when we tried it was being used, so my boys stood ringing wet and freezing cold outside for 20 mins. But obviously that’s ok because they are ‘only aged 8-10 year old boys’. This is why I no longer take them which is sad. I’m not sure what the solution is, maybe more individual bigger cubicles, but all this demonising men and boys is wrong.

The Equality Act does not apply to individuals but organisations. Please do read it before making such claims.

The OP did not state that the person made any threats or harassed anyone, and you would have to provide evidence that the simple presence of the person was harassment (after all - it is not on the individual to prove innocence).

The person was also not asked to leave - so whether ignoring the sign on the door should be interpreted as trespass is again open to interpretation.

However, what is not open to interpretation is you accusing me of abusive behaviour. Perhaps you should take a deep breath, read what I wrote and reconsider.

" I sometimes think boys are considered second class citizens on MN."

I think everyone who is not female.

Perhaps you should take a deep breath, read what I wrote and reconsider.

You are just on MN to shout at women and tell them they are wrong aren't you? Because we've apparently got it in for men and you know everything better than us.

Poor ickle hard done by MRA. My violin is playing for you.

There's actually quite a few male posters on here who I like because they don't behave like MRAs.

If someone isn’t female, what are they?

This disconnect between what age it is inappropriate for boys to use Female facilities and what age it is safe/appropriate for them to use male facilities Unaccompanied is a massive problem that needs addressing. My personal feeling is additional non-sex facilities should be legislated for as well.

Doesn't mean Grown Men should go into girls changing rooms however.

Why don't you just tell me why I am wrong? Neither my sex nor my gender affect what the law says - so it should be quite easy for you.

Not necessarily male - but that might be too biologistic for you.

What do you mean?

there are two sexes. And multiple genders.

in terms of single sex changing rooms it’s the sex that matters.

Intersex is not necessarily male.

Intersex people, or to use a more up to date term, people with differences of sexual development, are either male or female

Bingo!

We have intersex bingo!

People who are intersex have a disorder of sexual development and are either male or female.

Damn I type too slow 🤣🤣🤣

They are not - at least not from a development or biological point of view.

Mate

You are wrong.

I suggest you go away and look it up and think about it...

Yeah. This.

Your obviously an expert in getting things wrong - but I think you might simply wish to open a clinical textbook.

If you say so.

You’re such an expert you managed to get that wrong.

Oops.

Since @RedToothBrush is so vocal about safeguarding, I think it might be interesting why they consider safeguarding to be irrelevant when it affects someone they don't like.

In "the other thread", several people called for the offending father to be chased out of the changing rooms by shouting "paedo" - and I raised my concerns that this could harm and possibly traumatise the child. It would be a clear safeguarding issue.

@RedToothBrush - and many others - completely dismissed the harm this could cause - because for them, safeguarding is not about protecting children, it's about enforcing their rules and silencing others.

As I said before, this is incredibly dangerous and harmful.

Why don't you just engage a bit with the literature?

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0306312718757081