Dads using female communal changing room

[Strawberrryfields]

Not sure how I feel about this so looking for opinions and whether I should do anything.

A couple of times recently I’ve been changing my child after swimming and a dad has come in to change his child in the communal female changing room. It’s after lessons so only children changing. There are communal female, communal male and a number of individual cubicles. It gets very busy at peak times so at times you may need to wait for an individual cubicle.

It feels weird to me a grown man being in there and my instinct is that he should use the private cubicles, though he is clearly there with his child helping them get ready. I also understand him not wanting to take his child into the men’s communal changing rooms with random men in there but to me, he is a random man.

Should I say something? Would you? Chances are it’s just a normal dad changing his kid but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it but not sure if IABU?

When your daughter is say 13 are you still going to be ok with adult men being in the changing room she gets changed into a swimming costume

Excellent idea. If there is an accident and no female paramedics are available, we just let people die?

The father is doing harm. That's the point. If he is prepared to infringe on the privacy and dignity of multiple other girls then he's a shit. Its his decision making that has created that situation. He doesn't get to then blame the reaction of women defending young girls on those women. It's his own actions that have harmed his own daughter for being an inconsiderate prick.

I would sleep very easy.

Decent fathers know they don't go in female changing rooms for the protection of their own child and others.

Its a simple as that.

A man who doesn't understand that is unsafe around children.

No - but this was about younger children.

I did not want to excuse the behaviour (I don't know the background after all), but explain that it is sometimes very difficult. A little bit of understanding sometimes goes a long way.

And there are a wide range of responses between "doing nothing" and "calling paedo".

Now you are just bloody disingenuous.

The father is causing the harm by being somewhere he shouldn't be. Women telling him to get out of a place he shouldn't be aren't the ones causing harm

What actual harm does he do? His presence?

But it is good to know how many mothers don't seem to care about the wellbeing of children if they can attack men.

I'm quite fortunate that IRL my experiences have been very different.

You are excusing his behaviour.

"telling him to leave" is quite different from calling him "paedo" in front of his daughter and other children, isn't it?

It obviously also trivialised paeodphiles and makes safeguarding so much harder.

Learn to read.

It's about 8 to 11 year olds.

That's too old.

They aren't 'young children'. They are children going through puberty and who are protected by law from twatty dad's who then want to abuse women for defending girls legal rights.

Please do quote the law.

You've said you wouldn't want a man in the changing rooms with a 13 year old daughter, whys that, what harm would that man be doing?

Equality Act 2010

It's a fair comment.

Paedo is perfectly acceptable to call a man who is acting in a way that is violating the privacy and dignity of girls.

It's probably the only thing that will get the message through to his thick entitled head.

Hth.

But it is not just about younger children.

It is about a man in a woman's changing room.

What if a swim team practice had just finished and ten teen girls came in to change whilst the man was there with his daughter.
Or a woman's water aerobics ?
For that matter any woman at all.
Are they expected to change in front of this man???

It is very simple. No men in woman's changing rooms.

This.

Reference the recent supreme court ruling.

You should look it up.

Safeguarding in the context of changing rooms means no men in female changing rooms. That includes "nice men"

The last lesson of the day is often immediately followed by a diving class for teens.

So yes you do get the last swimming classes in with teens.

Paedo dads need to stay out the changing room.

A man who thinks his daughter is more important than the privacy and dignity of all the other girls is NOT a nice man no matter what he thinks of himself.

The children aren’t all in the same class there are multiple lessons happening at once?

A pre-school swim class 3-4 in the smaller pool and then primary aged lessons 4-11 in the larger pool. Shared changing facilities for everyone there at that time. Perfectly normal set up.

You don’t want believe me for some reason so are being snarky but it’s obviously the clubs responsibility to create and stick up signage not mine.

The father doesn't cause any harm

Frankly this simply exposes you as being among the majority of men who cannot see the harm they do by forcing their presence on women who do not want it.

Have you really no idea of how uncomfortable you would make many women feel by being in a women's changing room?

You really do need to educate yourself and get rid of that sense on of entitlement.

Most likely? No harm at all. And with one man and a large group of women, it is much more likely that one of the women has paedophilic tendencies - simply based on statistics.

I find it fascinating however how preconceived opinions are so hard to shake. I don't think the behaviour of the father was sensible - but from experience, I know how one can get into a situation like this without much thinking.

It is incredibly unlikely that this person causes any harm (and Equality Act and Supreme Court Ruling are not as clear cut as you think) - but discomfort is of course also not ideal. So yes, he should not be hear. But I don't think it's really justifying a lynch mob.

And that some people would deliberately traumatise the daughter for the sins of the father is an interesting idea - I would say that you are a much bigger risk to your children and society.

It's a man who thinks what he wants is more important than safeguarding