To be furious and devastated to be told by parents they are giving their business and family home to loser brother?

[brightongirldownunder]

I've just had a call from my mum to tell me this and I'm totally broken. I can cope with the business but the family home? True they need to move as its far too big for them, but to have made the decision without even asking my opinion? I'm the eldest and my brother has always been a scrounger. he's never had an honest job in his life and it cripples me that he, his wife and 2 kids will be calling that home theirs. My mum insists they have not been given it for good but knowing my brother he will find a way around this. The saddest thing is that I've always been there for parents and was hoping that we may have had the chance to rent the house from them if we move back to the UK next year as our house in Brighton far too small now we have DD. There is absolutely no way I can ever go back to family home with brother and family in it. God I'm so upset... Am I being a spoilt brat (at 36?) Please someone tell me this isn't normal for parents to do this?

Had another hour long conversation with my mum last night. She has apologised for leaving me in the dark, although without any real explanation, but has agreed to a signed tenancy agreement for my brother (god know what will be in it though). I feel like I'm already moving on. I've said my piece and feel much happier today. So thanks again for the advice.
My brother will always be pampered by my parents but I think after speaking to them its more of a protection thing than favouritism. As has been mentioned here though I will never treat DD and future siblings like that and so have learnt something very important.

It seems so many brothers are the ones that need extra financial help from parents and women used to be referred to as the weaker sex !

I can't help thinking that a lot of the "my parents are leaving their home to my brother because they think he needs more help in life" situations could be avoided if the parents left their son the right to live in the house for his lifetime but stipulated that the property must eventually be sold on his death and the proceeds split equally between their grandchildren or something like this.

Has anybody ever suggested this to their parents who are favouring the flaky brothers ?

My parents are playing their cards close to their chest for the time being (although I know they did make wills a couple of years ago) so I havent a clue but I never give inheritance a thought as we are lucky to be quite comfortable financially at the moment.

My brother on the other hand sees it as an ongoing project to ensure he puts forward all sorts of reasons, playing on sentimentality, comtinuation of family business name, you name it to maximise his future inheritance.

A few years ago, FIL died and left all his worldly goods and a far from insubstantial amount of money to the girlfriend he had left MIL for. He had 4 sons for whom he had made scant provision in his life (he lived like he was George Best in his 'youth') and the final insult was a typewritten A5 piece of paper produced after his death which proclaimed that he left everything he had to his GF, but should she not survive him by more than 14 days, it should be divided equally between his four sons, and he named them. The curious thing was (it was DH who noticed this) his sons were named randomly, and not in age order. It had never occurred to me before, but doesn't everyone seem to refer to their children in the order in which they were born? DH then suspected that the GF had actually written the will, and FIL had then just signed it (he was never a thoughtful person). It hurt the sons (all, bar one) that not only had they not really been considered by their father, but he had effectively ignored his 5 grandchildren also. The GF never offered anyone anything, and now we hardly even hear from her. These things may seem petty, and you may think 'it's only money', but it's not. It can lead to feeling betrayed and not valued and can cause an awful lot of bitterness which could have been avoided by a bit more careful consideration. Of course, there will always be those for whom it's never quite right, but if a little effort is made to create a balance, all these damaging feelings can be largely avoided.

Hi @brightongirldownunder im just seeing this thread not sure if you’re still on number. I hope life has turned out better for you. What happened to the house?