Cost of husband’s 40th party

[naavaaira]

Posting here for traffic.
I am organising a surprise party for my husband’s 40th. He is the kind who loves being centre of attention and would love the surprise! I have never ever organised a proper event like this so have no idea of average cost and your input would be appreciated. I’m looking to cater his favourite Turkish food, inflatable night club in the garden, alcohol, cake, nibbles, and other bits all coming to around £1200 for 16 adults and 8 kids. Does that sound average or a lot?

Lovely!

people possibly still will bring drink, but best prepared that they don’t.

What do you mean
@Placetobreathe Mumsnet have asked you to stop

The MN post was Can we please stop the bunfighting and keep the conversation on topic? Thanks.

How do you interpret that as addressed solely to me ?

All I've done is reply to the relentless bullying I've been subjected to on this thread.

And bullying which you have continued with your post.

Unbelievable intolerant behaviour on this thread.

I don't know what you are talking about.
The OP asked about the cost of a birthday celebration.

I replied.

And since then have been subjected to incessant bullying posts which I have replied to defending myself.

There are a percentage of posters on MN who make the site worthwhile because of their measured and insightful posts. .

And then there are intolerant posters who gang up on others who dare to voice an innocuous opinion which differs from their own.

The Chat forum is the one where this type of behaviour is most common. But this thread seems to have brought the bullies out in force.

Hope he has a lovely birthday and budget sounds good and all seems well organized x

I'd budget 3 drinks for light drinkers and 6 for heavy drinkers and an equal amount of non-alcoholic drinks for adults, sparkling water & pop.

I have an insurance background so also advise you to check your insurance coverage and local law re "host responsibility." Even if only family/close friends are invited accidents happen and people get sued.

Perhaps read the room, the OP is trying to organise a lovely event for DH, and then Debbie Downer comes along to derail the thread with negativity about privilege and entitlement which wasn't needed, and then spent evening trying to justify yourself..

Sounds like an amazing evening, planned with lots of love, and we will be doing something similar for our DD's 18th in the summer.

Op is having a party! Food, drink, dancing with presumably her DHs friends and family. PP went on a holiday with her husband. These are shared experiences with loved ones, not ostentatious gift piles. Can’t understand why you could have a problem with this other than jealousy.

The thread title is Cost of husband’s 40th party

Therefore my reply was about the cost of the party.

Other pp have taken issue with the fact I addressed the premis of the thread in my original post and I have expanded on my feelings about birthdays and presents and celebrations

I am in no way jealous of OP. Why would I be?

I hope they have a lovely celebration enjoyable to all.

I gave my view on the cost, as asked in the thread title, and heartily wish I hadnt given the reaction of the bullies in this thread.

Absolutely unbelievable.

Good lord.

I spent about that on a weekend away with a pal for my 40th, and I did other stuff to celebrate too so god knows how much that ended up costing but it was brilliant. Worth every penny!

Enjoy the party, OP! Off to Google inflatable nightclubs near me…

I am sorry for OP, bit absolutely loving the lack of self awareness of some on tjis thread😂

Is it unnecessary though if the OP wants to throw their significant other a shin dig? Not everyone might be able to afford £1200 on a party, to other people this might just be a regular Saturday night spend. I'm intrigued to know what you might consider a normal spend for your significant other for a big birthday? There is however no right or wrong answer to the question of whether £1200 is too much as it ultimately turns on the Person hosting's finances. If you can afford it, crack on, if you can't, dont

Its relevant because if you want to condemn people for spending money on a party you can't really accept any invitations you get.

The sad fact of the matter is that hosting costs money. I spent a fair chunk of change on food and drink for a Christmas party to bring my community together in the darkest, most miserable part of the year. I'm lucky to afford it and happy to have spent it that way.

I'd be pretty fucked off if my guests were busy slagging me off for throwing money around as a substitute for love and affection

FGS get off it. Don't play innocent. We can all read your OP and the part you are skipping over (bold). You were insulting, catty and critical. You continue to be as well.

Placetobreathe · Today 18:29
Oh my goodness. MN certainly highlights the them and us culture doesn't it?
I can't even envisage a world where spending this much on a 40th birthday would be considered normal.
Entitlement and privilege springs to mind

Personally I wouldn't have a " big shindig" for any occasion.

And I don't recognise the significence of " big birthdays" other than the 18th where in the UK becoming an adult is a really significant thing.

But I agree with you that it is entirely up to the individual. And so OPactually asking the question about cost is really not necessary. Because it is up to her entirely what type of do she wants to hold and what she wants to spend on it.

I answered because she asked. If I'd known the outrage my post would cause I wouldn't have posted. Unbelievable .

And you continue to play the victim. 🤦‍♀️

Your poor neighbours. An inflatable nightclub….

@Mumtobabyhavoc yep. the self awareness of a biscuit…

I think it is on purpose to control the thread.

Do you honestly not know that society is made up of the haves and have nots?

Do you live in a privileged world where you are unaware of the poorer subsection of society?

You call me pointing this out "insulting, catty and critical" . But for a lot of people coming on to MN and starting a thread about spending eyewatering, for some people, amounts of money on birthday parties is actually an insensitive and unpleasant act of ostentation.

If OP wants to spend that amount of money on her H then why doesnt she just do it rather than flaunt it in the face of people who are possibly struggling to make ends meet?

You are directing venom at me. But some might say flaunting wealth is actually an unpleasant and unnecessary act.

Just stop. Mumsnet asked the bun fight to stop and you’ve just kept going like a Duracell bunny. The poor woman just wants to have a party for her husband in her back garden. She’s not flaunting her wealth. She wants to do something nice for someone she loves and you’re trying to make her feel bad.

I’m keen to know what you do to celebrate your loved ones special days if throwing parties, going on holidays and giving presents are not in-line with your values?

Also, are you not concerned that one day you may look back over your life and think you didn’t have any fun? Or do you and how without spending money?

I’m always over-spending, so your answers may actually be helpful to me.

I would happily stop if pp would stop throwing nasty comments my way.

OP is the one who started the thread about cost.I fail to understand exactly why.I commented on it.. Apparently it's one of these threads that everyone is supposed to voice the same opinion. So what is the point of it?
I hope she does enjoy the party. Why the need to start the thread in the first place is beyond me.

Sounds ideal. I threw a party for my 40th cost about 1200e similar provided chicken curry food nibbles variety of drinks and big cake.
did similar for my husband and we went on a big hol for his too. we moved house shortly after mine so couldn't afford big h asweel
life is short you can afford it. enjoy and have a fabulous time

You are sounding rather out of touch with reality if you think OP was directing her post at you.