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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

434 replies

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

OP posts:
Happyasapiginmuck1 · 22/01/2026 23:32

cupfinalchaos · 22/01/2026 20:49

Most restaurants now seem to have sharing plates. I don’t eat meat, so if my friends and I order a variety of dishes to share, they can eat them all whereas I can only have the veggie ones and have to share those too.
Also I don’t want their forks that have been in their mouths poking around in my food!

Restaurants have got so lazy now not only with ‘sharing dishes’ but also with bring out the dishes as and when they’re ready, not at the same time as used to be the case. Much easier for them!
Even top London restaurants are doing this now.

Absolutely agree with you regarding being vegetarian, you become protective of the one or two dishes you can eat out of everything ordered and know if they get eaten then you'll have nothing.

Goldwren1923 · 22/01/2026 23:32

It’s annoying but your level of outrage is bizarre. Just say no!

ZenNudist · 22/01/2026 23:34

ToddlerMumma · 22/01/2026 13:09

JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!!

Was so going to post this

SuzieYellow · 23/01/2026 00:01

I’m absolutely with you on this. The only people I could tolerate this with is my children. I’m not ashamed to admit though that I have on occasion said no to my kids when they’ve asked for a taste of my food 😂

SuzieYellow · 23/01/2026 00:04

Ponderingwindow · 22/01/2026 22:46

I don’t like trying other people’s food because it unbalances the palette from what I am eating.

i don’t want people digging into my food because as soon as I have my plate, my brain visually segments out the bites. It happens by default. Just a fun little asd quirk I guess because I don’t think most people do that. Now someone has come and messed with my eating plan.

Yes you worded it so well. My brain segments out the bites too!! I have an expectation set and if anything is going to mess with that, I just can’t cope 😅

nunsflipflop · 23/01/2026 00:12

My DH ex fil used to reach over to your plate and take whatever he fancied, chips, roasties, he even took a chop once. How no one ever stabbed him I don’t know.

No food sharing in this house

PeloMom · 23/01/2026 00:20

I can’t stand people like your friend. I’d rather eat out by myself than having someone annoy me with their ‘tastes’ and stuff. I order what I want and I eat ALL of it (or take the leftovers if I feel like it!).
ETA I used to allow my kid when was toddler/ too little to understand to grab some of my food but once he was 5, he learnt fast my plate is a no touch zone unless I offer.

CocoQueen2024 · 23/01/2026 01:48

I felt angry just reading that.

TheToothFairy999 · 23/01/2026 03:11

wonder what she says about what his insistence on eating her food said about him

I’ve no idea what she says.

Sharing food is normal where we are even to the extent of communal eating at times, there is a strict etiquette that goes along with it and at no time would she have been in any danger.

FreddysFingers · 23/01/2026 04:02

YANBU. That's bloody rude and I would have lost it as well!

RosyPumpkins · 23/01/2026 04:06

I hate the word taste so much.
Obviously this is awful behaviour

CrazyGoatLady · 23/01/2026 04:20

Absolutely the fuck not! DH or DC pinching a chip or a finger food item, OK fine. But nobody else's used cutlery is going near my food. Nope, nope, nope.

Francestein · 23/01/2026 04:46

You are my people. I just lost my shit at my husband. I had cooked a family meal and a separate, allergy-friendly/keto version for myself. He picked the only bit of meat straight off my plate with his thumb and forefinger and stuffed it down his neck right in front of me - thinking he was being "cute". I just yelled "Are you a fucking pelican? You have your own meal and just ensured that I can't fucking eat." He said I was overreacting, so I threw his dinner in the bin.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 23/01/2026 04:58
Episode 9 Joey GIF by Friends

I feel ya.

Missey85 · 23/01/2026 04:59

ToddlerMumma · 22/01/2026 13:09

JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!!

This was my first thought when I read this! 😂😂

CypressGrove · 23/01/2026 05:02

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:43

Do you find it odd the whole having “a taste” thing? I can understand if it was some exotic food in a place you might never return to but when it’s something like spaghetti carbonara or something that they have probably had before and likely will again it’s just annoying.

I’m glad I’m not alone in this because I often feel I come across as weird or selfish for not participating in food swapping when I’m with friends.

I love food swapping but not for things like scrambled eggs and smoked salmon. But we often go to different cuisines and it can be hard to choose if everything sounds good so its a bonus to try some of each other's -because then I know what a particular dish tastes like for future. But I only do it with friends and family members that I know are of the same mind.

CypressGrove · 23/01/2026 05:20

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 17:14

You might be the perfect person to ask then…

What would you class as “a taste?” If it’s a meal with multiple components like rack of lamb or fish with potatoes and 3 different types of veg or a mixed salad with multiple ingredients, then would you pile everything together on a fork, let them just try the lamb or protein in a salad or a bit of everything if it’s all really nice?

If it’s just one forkful of food what’s the point? What if the other person then wishes they had ordered the same?
If It’s several forkfuls and you don’t like theirs then you are a big chunk of your meal gone?

Why can’t you just get pleasure out of what you ordered and talk about the taste and flavour and recommend it so they can try it next time? The other person would surely know from the ingredients if they would like it or not?

Apologies for the aggressive questioning! This is obviously something that divides people and I’m interested in why some people think I’m missing out or being unreasonable. So far no one has answered explaining the point in the whole “having a taste” thing which is partly why I posted.

My friend likes to try everything on my plate, if it’s something like a risotto then she has a big fork or spoonful, if it was lamb, veg etc then she would want to to have a piece of everything.
I find it bizarre because I know she’s tried it before so as a pp hilariously said it’s not like it’s fish eyelashes or something that she’d never get a chance to try again.

We often have a taste - it would generally be the protein or the main part of the dish. For eg we recently went to a Philippines restaurant and I've never had chicken adobo which my husband got and I felt like a soup. But they both had quite different flavour profiles that we expected and was hard to explain - we'd both imagined the adobo to be more like the pinoy style and it was more vinegary - so we tried each others to see if we would like it or not for future ordering. Same as there is a new Hong Kong Malaysian fusion place near us that's just added a new dish that looks interesting but I'm not sure if I'll like because it could be a bit too spicy so I plan on encouraging my husband to get it so I can try it to see if I could eat a whole dish of it or not.

pestowithwalnuts · 23/01/2026 05:39

We were friends with a couple were the wife was like this.
Her DH knew what he liked to eat and wasn't adventurous in trying new foods.
She would almost be force feeding him in restaurants. She'd get something on her fork and start shoving it in his face saying ' try this try this '
He would look so embarrassed. I think it caused a few arguments between them.
The last straw was when we were in a lovely restaurant..the sort with starched white tablecloths...and she tossed a piece of steak in a sauce across onto his plate and it landed in the tablecloth ..

Wtfdoidoplease · 23/01/2026 05:45

Going against the grain here by saying that I think you sound enormously uptight. It sounds like you have problems articulating boundaries generally and so have snapped rudely at your friend who is now hurt. Her boundaries aren’t great either by the way but your tactlessness still reads rude to me.

You were also rude to your colleague with the seagull comment, funny though it was.

You don’t have to share your food but most people with normal social skills don’t end up yelling at their friend over lunch.

PollyBell · 23/01/2026 05:50

Wtfdoidoplease · 23/01/2026 05:45

Going against the grain here by saying that I think you sound enormously uptight. It sounds like you have problems articulating boundaries generally and so have snapped rudely at your friend who is now hurt. Her boundaries aren’t great either by the way but your tactlessness still reads rude to me.

You were also rude to your colleague with the seagull comment, funny though it was.

You don’t have to share your food but most people with normal social skills don’t end up yelling at their friend over lunch.

I think there are 2 seperate things, there are lots of things that we have every right to say no too and we should say no

but also there are things people should really know what to do or not, why is it hard to leave peoples food alone unless you know, a one off fine a calm no and everyone moves on but no once should be enough

PeloMom · 23/01/2026 06:00

Wtfdoidoplease · 23/01/2026 05:45

Going against the grain here by saying that I think you sound enormously uptight. It sounds like you have problems articulating boundaries generally and so have snapped rudely at your friend who is now hurt. Her boundaries aren’t great either by the way but your tactlessness still reads rude to me.

You were also rude to your colleague with the seagull comment, funny though it was.

You don’t have to share your food but most people with normal social skills don’t end up yelling at their friend over lunch.

Her friend is hurt because she ignored OP’s boundaries multiple times. OP raising her voice hopefully made the friend finally hear her.
the colleague as well- it sounds like OP is capable of expressing her boundaries and instead of him being embarrassed he continued the behaviour.
both the friend and college lack basic social skills. Why would that be OP’s fault ?

DreamTheMoors · 23/01/2026 06:03

I know two men who don’t have any problem at all saying loudly, ”NO!!! GET YOUR OWN BBRGER!!!” Or chicken or fish or or steak —or WHATEVER IT IS THEY’RE EATING.

They’re so loud that people from other tables look up and wonder what the ruckus is.
And it puts the spotlight directly on the pesky person asking for a bite.

I promise you, it only happens once hahaha.

I think it’s absolutely fabulous and very funny.

Wtfdoidoplease · 23/01/2026 06:08

PeloMom · 23/01/2026 06:00

Her friend is hurt because she ignored OP’s boundaries multiple times. OP raising her voice hopefully made the friend finally hear her.
the colleague as well- it sounds like OP is capable of expressing her boundaries and instead of him being embarrassed he continued the behaviour.
both the friend and college lack basic social skills. Why would that be OP’s fault ?

I simply can’t imagine a situation where I would ever raise my voice at a friend like that. I don’t think shouting at people is OK. OP described herself as a people pleaser and what a lot of people pleasers do is fail to articulate boundaries properly for ages and then explode because they’ve built up all this rage. A person who is assertive and not a people pleaser wouldn’t have allowed it to get to that stage.

HerNeighbourTotoro · 23/01/2026 06:17

Theonly time I'd'share' food is if it is tapas and it's all on little plates, you tke a bit onto your plate. Id never seen adults 'trying' stuff from each others' plates otherwise and would hate it.

mamabeth · 23/01/2026 06:18

BootMaker · 22/01/2026 13:19

Gosh! You sound unfathomably annoyed about minor things.

About their food being taken with a dirty fork and not being able to eat in peace next to an adult?

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