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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

434 replies

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

OP posts:
Betsyboost · 23/01/2026 06:31

PollyBell · 22/01/2026 22:39

No cant say it happens everyday but yes colelagues are the main ones and friends who bring friends, so the main annoyances are people who need to give me a running commentary on how many calories, what the ingredients are, need to go into detail about whatever new diet they cant stop going on about, how they should or should not eat whatever it is, whatever else they have eaten or planning on eating

yet still want to taste other peoples food and go ''Oh I shouldnt really have half of your brownie but if it is yours I can pretend I am not eating it'' or other over the top infortmation I never askefd to hear, I am sorry to anyone obessed with weight loss but no one else

and if this gives me a label of not caring how many calories you have eaten then I am happy with whatever label we are using now for not giving a....

I like to eat healthily, some less so but my goodness someone commenting on the calories etc in someone’s food is just not on at all. And the most intolerable thing is people calling food ‘naughty’. Not acceptable at all.

Betsyboost · 23/01/2026 06:42

I do share food with my kids when we eat out. Mainly cause they order something, don’t like it and otherwise they’d eat nothing. So I offer up my food instead. Often the thing I get to eat has been swapped around the kids a few times before it gets to me, and it’s cold so I don’t really bother eating much but hey, I’m an excellent cook so the food at the sort of place I can take my unruly kids to isn’t the sort of food I’d find exciting anyway.

firstofallimadelight · 23/01/2026 06:48

Dh and I will try each others food which I’m fine with but it’s like, do you want to try a piece of my lamb and i will take a piece with my fork and put it on his plate and vice versa not tucking in to each others food. Me and DDs might do the same.
I wouldn’t share a sandwich or similar though and if a friend asked I would put a piece on their plate but I wouldn’t want anything back as I agree it is unhygienic.
i haven’t been pushed on this thankfully and if someone did what your friend did i would be pissed off and equally wouldn’t want to finish. I have had people ask if they can finish my food and it really disgusts me particularly if it’s something half eaten rather than say a few chips.
in your scenario i would either stop eating out with her or when your food arrives ask for a side plate and transfer a bit of everything for her to try . Or put a blanket ban on no sharing food.

SheilaFentiman · 23/01/2026 06:48

Wtfdoidoplease · 23/01/2026 06:08

I simply can’t imagine a situation where I would ever raise my voice at a friend like that. I don’t think shouting at people is OK. OP described herself as a people pleaser and what a lot of people pleasers do is fail to articulate boundaries properly for ages and then explode because they’ve built up all this rage. A person who is assertive and not a people pleaser wouldn’t have allowed it to get to that stage.

She said no to her friend.

If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg

Rightsraptor · 23/01/2026 07:17

OP said nothing about shouting. @Wtfdoidoplease, you're making that up. If you click on the 'see all' on any OP's posts you can read all of them and there's no mention of shouting at all. OP is justified in being annoyed.

I would have said I never take other people's food but I'm wondering if that's true. I'm sure I don't if it's people I'm not very close to but I suspect I may have a more relaxed attitude to my (adult) children. Time was, when they were babies, I would happily eat food they spat out! That revolts me now, but I think it's to do with my having grown them inside my body, then having fed them from my body and the consequent 'blurred boundaries' between them and me. I am aware that I offer them food of some kind almost immediately after they arrive in my house, which they certainly don't reciprocate.

But I digress. And I shall henceforth observe my own behaviour with food more carefully.

Theonebutnotonly · 23/01/2026 07:18

Who is Joey?

Rightsraptor · 23/01/2026 07:19

Joey Tribiani in 'Friends'.

Pepsi4Eva · 23/01/2026 07:24

I am 100% with the OP.

I actually dumped a 'friend' in part because she kept stealing chips/ scampi/ pudding off my DS1's plate whenever we went out. DS1 has autism and sensory issues around food and we really struggled getting him to eat anything at all. She would lean over and filch something while he was eating. I told her not to on several occasions and one time she did it again and when I asked her to please not steal his food she laughed and said 'every time you say that I am just going to take even more'. So I stood up, picked DS up, paid our bill and left. There were other things she used to do that irked me but that was the last straw.

RunningJo · 23/01/2026 07:29

I don’t know anyone who asks for a taste of food when having dinner in a restaurant, or maybe they know my answer would be, absolutely not, so it’s not a thing when I’m there 🤣. Other people can do what they want, but if someone ( who clearly didn’t know me well) asked, & ignored my ‘no you can’t’, they’d get my bloody fork rapped across their knuckles if they helped themselves
Op your friend is a CF

AintMissingYou · 23/01/2026 07:31

I’m really close to my friends but wouldn’t want to share food from each others plates. Thankfully they are the same! I do sometimes share with my partner but I see that as completely different. When younger, our children would share our food sometimes but thankfully they’ve since developed better manners and social norms. 😬

DontKillSteve · 23/01/2026 07:41

Some people are really odd and grim around food. A woman at work sticks her dirty fork into any stared dish or others plates, rather than using the clean utensils placed in dishes for this purpose!

I refuse to share with her and just order my own stuff.

I dint understand people wanting to ‘taste’ others food especially when it doesn’t complement what they’re eating. You should stop eating out with her, it sounds stressful.

Woodfiresareamazing · 23/01/2026 07:45

Ah, a food post. Where to start?!

I grew up with 'food issues' - well, I didn't think it was an issue, but my mum always worried. I only liked a few specific things, and refused to eat anything else - no SEN issues or eating disorders. I was perfectly healthy, just very picky.
I expanded my palate as I grew older, but even today I have very definite likes and dislikes, and I refuse to apologise for that. I still won't eat something 'to be polite'. I will politely say 'no thank you', but it really pisses me off if people then feel free to comment on what I do or do not want to eat.

Those settings where it's 'normal' to share food eg, Indian, Chinese... I still don't really want to share. I order what I know I will like, and I don't want to share my chicken tikka with your prawn whatever....

The hovering seagulls - really fucking annoying. My DP is the worst, although I have trained him to wait until I either offer some of my food, or I have finished eating and he can have what is left ,although this annoys him because it's probably cold by then. Not my problem. I don't know when my food arrives exactly how much of it I will want or manage to eat, so I don't want to give any away at that point.
He is a big man, hates wasting food, loves trying different things (and is a great cook), but he is also greedy. He will finish everyone's leftovers, not just mine, if we're out with friends.

Someone mentioned not eating a whole bar of chocolate in one go, and wanting to save it for another time - that's me. I have to hide it, though, or DP will eat it.

People commenting on how much/how little/how many the calories etc etc I've ordered - rude!! Just don't.
And I won't tolerate any food shaming about not eating certain things - I'm 66, I'm an adult, I can and will make my own choices, and I will not be ridiculed for them.

People sticking their used cutlery into other people's food without asking - just shoot them now.

I think I have a pretty healthy relationship with food, and I enjoy eating out with friends, but I have firm boundaries and that's just how it is.

And yes, I'm a lot of fun at parties 🤣

SomeOtherUser · 23/01/2026 07:47

By the way, in case no one has mentioned it, there is a word for when people ogle your food like a hungry Labrador: groaking. Sounds like you'll get a lot of use from this word in your life. 😂

Bonsatater · 23/01/2026 07:50

Next time you go out with her let her order first thrn just order the same thing

sunshinestar1986 · 23/01/2026 07:52

It's indecisive people versus decisive people I think 🤣
My partner goes as far as to say
Can we swap?
No!
As much as yours looks lovely,
I chose this becaise I like it.
If you like it, you could've chosen it too.

KrimboBell · 23/01/2026 07:54

YANBU but you seem to be very unfortunate in the people you encounter when you are eating food.
i have only met one person like you have described and that was my SIL who, if I put my fork down between mouthfuls would say ‘ if you don’t want that I’ll have it’ - we’re now NC ( for other reasons) but it did used to annoy me no end.

Middlechild3 · 23/01/2026 08:01

Completely with you. Its rude and deserves being stabbed in the hand with a fork. If you want to taste something order it.
Its some kind if weird insecure bonding attempt.
Annoying too when people go on about both ordering cocktails. If you want one just order it, your friend doesn't gave to want one too.

MyDeftDuck · 23/01/2026 08:06

After she had stuck her fork in your food why didn’t you just scrape all your meal on top of hers and walk out? Revolting I know but it might teach her to not trespass at the dinner table.

Mumof2heroes · 23/01/2026 08:09

BootMaker · 22/01/2026 13:19

Gosh! You sound unfathomably annoyed about minor things.

What? Other people's germs cutlery nicking food from your plate after you've said no?! Minor? Really? Do you just let people do what they want? Do you not have any boundaries?

Newbie8918 · 23/01/2026 08:10

I’m in the minority here. I disagree with everything other than using her own fork and people who take food without asking/being offered. The rest I find excessive.
i eat out a lot with the same people. We almost always share dishes or taste each others food (never with used cutlery and never without previously agreeing) It’s part of the experience for us and we deliberately order different dishes to try different things.
im a massive foodie and love talking about flavours etc.
Id say just don’t eat out with her again.

LookingThroughGlass · 23/01/2026 08:13

My husband and I do this sometimes, but I wouldn't do it with anyone I didn't already have intimate contact with. If someone else was insisting on trying my food, I'd take some and put it on their plate.

Wickedlittledancer · 23/01/2026 08:14

I also agree with you op and I can’t fathom why people think it’s part of the Eating out experience to have some of other people’s food. It is not. Be it starter, main or dessert.in my view these are just greedy people who want some of your food.

im happy to let my husband have anything I left, but dont want him diving in whilst I eat so he’d never do that, and im happy to let my daughter try some whilst I eat, I think that’s a parent thing, but past that it’s a no.

the worst two things I saw were.

out to dinner with couple friends, one woman said she wasn’t that hungry, she had food issues, ordered a starter for her main, when the mains came she said to the person opposite her, can I try your steak, when she said yes, she proceeded to cut it in half and take half of it. Literally, with no exaggeration she split it fifty fifty and sat it on top of her starter, she then started eating chips off everyone else’s plates.

having dinner with work colleagues in hotel, two said they weren’t hungry and going back to their rooms, one person had burger and chips, as soon as it came they both dived on his chips, I was eating quietly and watching, when it got to he had a small handful of chips left, no more than ten, I spoke up and said stop thay you’ve eaten all his chips, he’s nearly none left, that’s his dinner, he was all polite and saying it’s ok, but you could see he was incomfortable. They did look shamefaced.

i never ever take food off someone’s plate, and if someone offers I always say no thanks but it looks delicious. As very few people want their food eaten by someone else as they are eating.

now when I am with people I know do this, I order sides for the table, extra chips etc, so they can eat those as well as their main meal it nearly always solves the issue, because it is just pure greed.

PistachioTiramisu · 23/01/2026 08:15

Very rude behaviour - you chose your food, you want to eat it yourself!

As an aside, who are Joey, Smithy and Nessa?

Pineneedlesincarpet · 23/01/2026 08:22

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:36

I don’t think I’ll go out with her again to eat.
She knows it’s pissed me off in the past, I’ve tried to keep a jokey tone but was just really annoyed earlier.

She suggested getting different meals before and then halving them so we could have two different options and I told her that I just wanted to order what I liked and didn’t like sharing meals so I thought that would have made it obvious I didn’t want to then start swapping “tastes” of food either.

I don’t want other people’s used cutlery in my food or them eating the part of my meal I was looking forward to the most.
If she wants to try what I ordered then why not have it next time she visits?

I would love to know what people gain from having a few bites out of someone else’s food when they have their own to eat?

Tell her just to order two starters. Then she can have two different things. And to steer clear of your grub. If she tries it again, just take her whole plate of food and eat the whole lot as fast as you can. Then carry on with your own.

Cherrytree86 · 23/01/2026 08:31

Francestein · 23/01/2026 04:46

You are my people. I just lost my shit at my husband. I had cooked a family meal and a separate, allergy-friendly/keto version for myself. He picked the only bit of meat straight off my plate with his thumb and forefinger and stuffed it down his neck right in front of me - thinking he was being "cute". I just yelled "Are you a fucking pelican? You have your own meal and just ensured that I can't fucking eat." He said I was overreacting, so I threw his dinner in the bin.

@Francestein

what a greedy selfish gluttonous prick you’re married to. Stuffing meat down your neck like that?? Why?! Ick.