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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

434 replies

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

OP posts:
UnctuousUnicorns · 22/01/2026 19:33

Lopteluga · 22/01/2026 19:26

Completely agree, this does my head in.

”Are you having a dessert too?”

”No, just a coffee. Ask for a second spoon though, I’ll try a bit of yours”

I mean, seriously, just F* OFF 🤣

F for FORK OFF, presumably? 😉

canklesmctacotits · 22/01/2026 19:35

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 17:14

You might be the perfect person to ask then…

What would you class as “a taste?” If it’s a meal with multiple components like rack of lamb or fish with potatoes and 3 different types of veg or a mixed salad with multiple ingredients, then would you pile everything together on a fork, let them just try the lamb or protein in a salad or a bit of everything if it’s all really nice?

If it’s just one forkful of food what’s the point? What if the other person then wishes they had ordered the same?
If It’s several forkfuls and you don’t like theirs then you are a big chunk of your meal gone?

Why can’t you just get pleasure out of what you ordered and talk about the taste and flavour and recommend it so they can try it next time? The other person would surely know from the ingredients if they would like it or not?

Apologies for the aggressive questioning! This is obviously something that divides people and I’m interested in why some people think I’m missing out or being unreasonable. So far no one has answered explaining the point in the whole “having a taste” thing which is partly why I posted.

My friend likes to try everything on my plate, if it’s something like a risotto then she has a big fork or spoonful, if it was lamb, veg etc then she would want to to have a piece of everything.
I find it bizarre because I know she’s tried it before so as a pp hilariously said it’s not like it’s fish eyelashes or something that she’d never get a chance to try again.

I think I can answer this because with some friends I'm like a respectful version of your ex-friend.

Rack of lamb or fish + pots + veg: a "taste" would be of just the lamb or fish, with whatever sauce (and mostly for me, as I'm a pretty decent cook, it's actually just the sauce because I know what lamb and most fish taste like). It would be less than 1cm cubed. If it can fit on four tines of the fork, it's too much. Really it's to taste what the chef has done with it, which flavours in which combination. I'd use a clean fork AND knife, and take it from the side that hasn't been touched yet.

Mixed salad: I'd never taste this. Gross and disrespectful. Also, how interesting can a salad be?!

What's the point: to see how the chef has balanced flavours. Obvs I'm not doing this in Pizza Express or whatever chain. I only do this where there's new or interesting food available! For example, Ethiopian food: first time I tried it I didn't know what the spices were, how the bread was leavened but flat and savoury, what the used to make their lentils tart etc. Just a tip of a teaspoon of sauce tells me all this, in a way no description could. It's really interesting - but boring to people who don't think about food as much as I do!

I can pine for someone else's choice while regretting mine, but I'd keep those thoughts to myself and focus on my own food.

So really, it's about experiencing new flavours and I only need a small taste to do that. Not forkfuls or spoonfuls! I wouldn't even have a spoon of risotto, it would literally be whatever few grains of rice fit on the end of a fork!

ETA: obviously I only do this when offered!! I have one or two close friends and DH who I can ask. But that's literally it, 3 people. I wouldn't do it to my DC or my parents!

Daleksatemyshed · 22/01/2026 19:35

There's two kinds of people I don't like eating with - the people who eat like they've been starved for days then start gazing at your food meaningfully, and the ones with FOMO- they're so afraid they'll miss out they can't deceide what to have, they're usually people like your friend Op, they want some of your dinner just in case they picked the wrong thing. As soon as I've had enough I'm done so anyone's welcome to my leftovers, but while I'm eating they can bugger off

Evidemment · 22/01/2026 19:40

I'm from a family of tasters - however they're the offering food kind not the demanding food kind so saying no is absolutely fine - and I do say no!

To answer your question OP, tastes of food isn't about not having enough on your own plate or acting like you've never had a lasagne before, it's a way to get a broad view of the meals offered in a restaurant and how they taste when made there in particular, even if its a common food. (Much like you can order the same curry at two different restaurants and get wildly different spice levels and tastes but the base of the food is the same.)

This is particularly helpful if you have family members who do have issues with food and won't try "the unknown" the whole tasting thing (with clean cutlery) opens up their options for next time.

Sometimes they just like their food so much they want someone else to try it so they can talk about a shared experience of the life changing blancmange or whatever

PollyBell · 22/01/2026 19:41

I am the same especially 'I wont order a dessert I will just share yours' no you won't

If people have food issues deal with it dont put it onto others

Snowdropsaremyfavourite · 22/01/2026 19:43

Order the same meal as her. Every. Single. Time.

CountessSingingCloud · 22/01/2026 19:44

I’ll never forget - I was eating a bowl of cereal at my desk at work. I finished my cereal and put the bowl down, there was some leftover milk still in the bowl. Colleague tuned to me and said “can I finish that milk?”

I nearly threw up on the spot

TellyOrNap · 22/01/2026 19:47

I feel like it's normal to try a bit of someone else's dessert or something (as long as nobody minds) but trying someone else's scrambled eggs is really odd.

GanninHyem · 22/01/2026 19:50

Taking food off your plate, especially without asking is awful behaviour. The nerve of her calling you selfish.

I do think you're being weird about people saying your food looks nice or asking what it tastes like though, surely that's just normal interactions at a meal out isn't it? No one is allowed to even look at your food? Wild. I think you just need to avoid eating around people.

5128gap · 22/01/2026 19:54

You and she clearly have very different ideas about what sharing a meal together looks like. Personally I'd meet her for a walk or the zoo or yoga in future, because you're not a good fit as lunch buddies.

PollyBell · 22/01/2026 20:01

GanninHyem · 22/01/2026 19:50

Taking food off your plate, especially without asking is awful behaviour. The nerve of her calling you selfish.

I do think you're being weird about people saying your food looks nice or asking what it tastes like though, surely that's just normal interactions at a meal out isn't it? No one is allowed to even look at your food? Wild. I think you just need to avoid eating around people.

I get sharing if that is the intent like we share Chinese dishes and I will happily say to someone if they want someone of my chops or you like avocado do you want mine or whatever but people deciding themselves to try what i ordered in a lean over and just try or demand to do it is rude

Gribouille · 22/01/2026 20:02

I hate this because I'm a reeeeally slow eater, and people say 'Are you going to finish that?' and Yes, I am, as fast as my digestion will allow, so stop looking at my chicken taco like it's the last lifeboat on the Titanic! 🤬

Anyway. Don't ever double-date with her, OP - she'd go in for a snog with your partner, 'just to try', before you went home to complete the deed...

😳

BillieWiper · 22/01/2026 20:12

ginasevern · 22/01/2026 18:32

I don't think I could ever eat with her again, lovely or not!

Yeah I know. I'm a bit wary!

MrsClatterbuck · 22/01/2026 20:25

The only person who I would share with is my DH or maybe sister. Dh will sometimes give me something of his plate and I do the same to him. He is also OK with me taking food he doesn't like and isn't going to eat. Like salad coleslaw or mushroom stalks.
I have never tbh ever had someone ask for food of my plate thank goodness.

Cherrytree86 · 22/01/2026 20:34

You can get glandular fever and Epstein Barr virus from
saliva , the latter can paralyse you. I don’t want ANYONES spit in my food.

grumpygrape · 22/01/2026 20:35

I have had other Brits ask in a French restaurant what the meal I had was. Not annoyed at ‘foreign food peeking’ !

Wouldn’t have shared though 😂

SheilaFentiman · 22/01/2026 20:36

Cherrytree86 · 22/01/2026 20:34

You can get glandular fever and Epstein Barr virus from
saliva , the latter can paralyse you. I don’t want ANYONES spit in my food.

Has anyone ever contracted either of those from tasting someone else’s food?

Cherrytree86 · 22/01/2026 20:41

SheilaFentiman · 22/01/2026 20:36

Has anyone ever contracted either of those from tasting someone else’s food?

@SheilaFentiman

yes, I know a couple of people

BashfulClam · 22/01/2026 20:44

I don’t share, I order what I want. Once I went to the take away with my friend and she said ‘let’s just share it! ‘No thanks I want a whole portion!’ I don’t even. Like sharing tapas as o order the things I really like and there are only a small amount on each plate.

My husband is picky but eats like a Labrador, it disappears so fast, he then starts stealing my chips. I told him it’s not on as he has had a full portion and now he’s reducing my portion. The 3rd of 4th time he tried I stabbed him with my fork. He looked at me in amazement and started laughing and said that was the moment he knew he wanted to marry me. Someone willing to stand up for their boundaries. I grew up with food poverty so I am protective of my food. If I am not going to finish something I will offer as I hate wasting things. Offering is different though as I’ve eaten what I needed/wanted.

cupfinalchaos · 22/01/2026 20:49

Most restaurants now seem to have sharing plates. I don’t eat meat, so if my friends and I order a variety of dishes to share, they can eat them all whereas I can only have the veggie ones and have to share those too.
Also I don’t want their forks that have been in their mouths poking around in my food!

Restaurants have got so lazy now not only with ‘sharing dishes’ but also with bring out the dishes as and when they’re ready, not at the same time as used to be the case. Much easier for them!
Even top London restaurants are doing this now.

BettyTurpinPies · 22/01/2026 20:52

I only have one friend who wants to share and I'm OK with that, but I always seem to have colleagues commenting on my lunch.

'Are you going to eat all that?' (about a tub that will last me several days)
'What's that, rabbit food again?'
'I couldn't eat all that, a quarter of it and I'd be stuffed'
'Ugh! What's that?'
'I don't know how you can eat that!'
...

It's hard to keep myself from answering.

BettyTurpinPies · 22/01/2026 20:54

@Gribouille , I'm a slow eater too. I get asked 'Aren't you enjoying that?'

Gribouille · 22/01/2026 21:25

BettyTurpinPies · 22/01/2026 20:54

@Gribouille , I'm a slow eater too. I get asked 'Aren't you enjoying that?'

Yes, @BettyTurpinPies ! And have had waiters ask if there was a problem with the meal... Just can't eat fast... Some people say 'Oh well, it's supposed to be good for your digestion', but it's because my digestion ain't great that I have to eat slowly. I also stop when I've had enough, or suffer the consequences.

And like some previous commenters, food wasn't plentiful growing up... I like to make, say, a bar of chocolate last... to know that it's there... I'm not leaving it because I 'don't want it', looking at you, DH...... 👀

CantThinkofaNam · 22/01/2026 21:29

I actually do not know a single person like these uncouth people OP. Even my own family doesn’t, my 3yo doesn’t even do that.

BettyTurpinPies · 22/01/2026 21:29

And you're still married to him?