AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

[HereComesAuntySocial]

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

Went for Sunday lunch with another couple recently. I ordered a side dish. It was quite a generous portion. I asked if anyone would like some. The DH of the other couple immediately helped himself to two thirds of my side dish. Greedy cheeky bastard.

Was it cauliflower cheese? the git,.

@Bleachedjeans , next time, serve yourself before offering.

Good advice, but if there is one side dish and four people, it doesn't take a genius to think taking 25% is more reasonable than taking 67%.

I have never asked or been asked for 'a taste'of my food when dining out. Expect maybe by my DC. Strange behaviour.

If you want to try multiple things, go for tapas or Chinese food etc.

I’d have been so annoyed and simply asked the waitress to bring another portion as most of mine was eaten. And smiled innocently like I wasn’t shaming him.

But again that’s different, loads of sharing dishes is very different to helping yourself to someone else’s individual serving on their own plate.

im so bemused people don’t know the difference between sharing dishes in the middle where people take some and put it on their own plate then eat, and having invidual served portions which is served to the individual and someone then eating off your individual plate.

to help explain. You go out with a friend, you order steak and chips. They order lasagne, they then reach over, cut your steak in half and put it on their plate and eat it. This is what the op is talking about.

it is not let’s order lots of dishes, dishes put in middle of table, everyone has an empty plate in front of them, and then serves themselves from the middle.

Feeling the pain. I like to have little bowls of nuts or snacks with the exact amount I want. DH invades them without warning and then says I'm selfish. Or asks to try my drink or meal before I've had a bite. I never want his food so his excuse that he likes to share means nothing to me.
He also serves himself first at the table when we're together as a family and got really put out the other day when I had the meat near me and offered it first to the children. He said I was rude but fortunately the children countered that he was the rude one actually.
My dad stabbed my mother's hand when they were uni students when she reached for something off his plate. He also liked to have little bowls of nuts.
I grew up with an older brother who was always taking my food off me.
Yet DH can't accept my deep feelings on this and just takes my food like it's his own.
He went crazy on me once for not wanting to share a latte after he'd bought me some earrings that day.
Like the gift made it OK. It did not.

You sit down to eat your food, and before you've picked up your knife and fork, someone asks if they can try it.

My mum would do this to me as a kid whenever I ordered pancakes and call me selfish for saying no. It was the only food I ordered while her meal was 3x bigger than mine and she could easily order some herself. Think she did it because she wanted to use part of my meal as a dessert for herself since she had a sweet tooth and didn’t want to look greedy by ordering a separate dessert for herself.

I don’t mind sharing if I’m informed about it before I order something, don’t drop the expectation after I ordered and am about to eat.

It’s the entitlement isn’t it and lack of respect for others boundaries.

what I’ve seen in the thread is a sense of entitlement from those who do it, that’s why it’s compared to sharing dishes, when they must know it’s different, they want what’s on the table, feel entitled to it, don’t respect others boundaries and it’s overladen with greed. They want it all.

you don’t help yourself to someone else’s food.
You don’t ask for someone else’s food,
if offered and they are still eating uou should politely decline and then take some if they finish eating and leave some which you can take.
If you do accept an offer take a very small forkful and no more. but preferably you say no and wait till they finish
If it’s sharing then offer enough to pay for your appetite and don’t eat other people’s share and pay your way when you do.
you don’t look less greedy by eating someone else’s meal.
if you can’t control yourself and want all the food eat before you go out.
when food is served as an individual portion to someone you are not entitled to it. You are only entitled to what’s on your own plate.

it’s basic manners.

My exh used to do that with drinks when we were young. Thinking they were for sharing! Absolutely not.

I remember in our 20s being away with friends and going out for a self-service cafe breakfast. I bought a bottle of water with mine - it was the days before everyone had water with them at all times.

He said he didn’t want a drink then started to try to share mine! I had to say in no uncertain terms “the is the amount of drink I want to go with my food”. Absolutely no way am I leaving myself without enough. On future occasions I would make sure to tell him this whilst we were buying our food and drink so there could be no misunderstanding.

Sharing a latte is absolutely grim. And then presumably he’d want to take some just as it had cooled to the perfect temperature? And start glugging back a whole load just at this perfect point?

Joey is Joey Tribbiani, @PistachioTiramisu - a character from Friends who states “Joey does not share food!”

Smithy and Nessa are from Gavin and Stacey - there is a whole scene where the characters are ordering an Indian takeaway, and Smithy has a monologue about how he wants to eat the food he orders, and doesn’t want it all in the middle of the table so everyone can share. Later in the episode, it turns out Nessa has the same attitude, when Mick wants a taste of her Jamdani Hash.

I think someone linked to part of the G&S episode further up the thread.

I’m with Joey on this one. Not a chance.

Thanks for explaining - I've never watched either of those shows so that's why I didn't know who they were!

I’m with you 🤙
my food is NOT for sharing I would’ve walked out and left her to pay for the meal if she stuck her fork in my food, so unhygienic and disrespectful!

I have a friend like this - she likes to order a few bits ‘to share’ and will order things I don’t like despite me saying don’t get that as it has pork in, but still proceeds to eat more than her share of the things I can eat. I know now to decline the offer of sharing and just order Ramen or something that’s non shareable.

I don’t like sharing a taste, nor cups/ glasses/ sips from a straw- ugh!!! I’ll offer something like a few chips for a little one etc, but I put it on a side plate for them. No forks near my plate thanks.

My boss does this, now when we go out I sit as far away as possible. Licks spoons and dives into people’s plates. Why do people think this is acceptable 🙄

It makes my blood boil.

I have a friend who does similar. She always suggests getting two different items and then proceeds to eat the larger portion of both. If I leave anything she wants to try the sauce, if it’s a dish like that etc. Drives me crazy and makes me not want to share food at all.

We Joey types need a way of creating an invisible force field all around and above our plates/bowls. And no, we don't give a shit how they do it in Greece, Spain or Timbukbloodytu. Just keep your greedy mitts off our food. 🤬

No I don't share my food. It's disgusting unless its like a Indian meal out where yous get a few different curries or that to share.

I googled Jamdani Hash and it never existed. Before G&S. Then a Welsh Indian Takeaway invested one off the back of the show 😂😂

As a fellow Joey I don't think it would be unreasonable to surround my plate with small machine gun nests equipped with motion sensors.

Stay away from my food.

Or to paraphrase a line a school friend used to write on her books and stationery etc., "You toucha ma food, I breaka your face." In her case it was "you toucha my stuff, I breaka your face". Such demure and delightful convent school girls we were. 😂