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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

434 replies

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

OP posts:
SL2924 · 23/01/2026 09:30

Yuck, who are all these revolting people.

SheilaFentiman · 23/01/2026 09:39

.

SheilaFentiman · 23/01/2026 09:41

SabrinaCarpetCleaner · 23/01/2026 09:01

That's quite a stretch from the situation the OP actually described!

Just speak plainly and say don't stick your fork in my scran, because it pathologically pisses me off. Why sit quietly, expectantly fizzing?

I'm not a taster btw (and I don't like people helping themselves to side dishes that I ordered) but I'd rather lunch with tasters than martyrs. The idea that you'd entirely avoid eating with someone rather than just unclench your arse and say "btw, don't".

It is extremely clear from the OP that the “friend” stuck her fork in without warning and taking glee in doing so, rather than giving OP the choice.

If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

NewtonsCradle · 23/01/2026 09:43

I'll be blunt op. People who take food off your plate are motivated by envy of what you have and are dominating you. If they eat their meal and your meal then they dominated you by consuming the majority of the food. It's a power move even though 'sharers' deny the root of their behaviour. Just think if you ate every meal with them would you lose weight and get weaker? You absolutely did the right thing by stopping her taking food off your plate. You took control over the situation. If she doesn't want to talk to you now you have asserted yourself as an equal then that tells you, it's not the food it's about dominance.

Crikeyalmighty · 23/01/2026 09:57

Someone mentioned sharing platters - I actually stopped ordering these with a friend - as she would take all the ‘good bits’ in unequal quantities, leaving me with not much at all - I don’t think it was deliberate, more not concentrating as she’s lovely but gets distracted - same with tapas

Citrusbergamia · 23/01/2026 09:58

ToddlerMumma · 22/01/2026 13:09

JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!!

OMG...I came to say the same!! 😂

YANBU OP. Especially the friend who dug her fork into your scrambled egg. That is so bloody rude.

And 'performance under-eating' comments from people, really piss me off. My boss ALWAYS makes a comment about whatever I eat, whether it be that it's crunchy (so therefore noisy) or comment on how much I have and it makes me want to stab him. (I'm feeling particularly violent because I've not slept well...😂)

Wickedlittledancer · 23/01/2026 10:08

NewtonsCradle · 23/01/2026 09:43

I'll be blunt op. People who take food off your plate are motivated by envy of what you have and are dominating you. If they eat their meal and your meal then they dominated you by consuming the majority of the food. It's a power move even though 'sharers' deny the root of their behaviour. Just think if you ate every meal with them would you lose weight and get weaker? You absolutely did the right thing by stopping her taking food off your plate. You took control over the situation. If she doesn't want to talk to you now you have asserted yourself as an equal then that tells you, it's not the food it's about dominance.

I think that’s over analysing, it’s just greed.

HideousKinky · 23/01/2026 10:14

Francestein · 23/01/2026 04:46

You are my people. I just lost my shit at my husband. I had cooked a family meal and a separate, allergy-friendly/keto version for myself. He picked the only bit of meat straight off my plate with his thumb and forefinger and stuffed it down his neck right in front of me - thinking he was being "cute". I just yelled "Are you a fucking pelican? You have your own meal and just ensured that I can't fucking eat." He said I was overreacting, so I threw his dinner in the bin.

Has he done it before?
Did be apologise eventually?
Don't think I could live with this level of selfishness

BettyTurpinPies · 23/01/2026 10:38

@NewtonsCradle , greed, lack of self-restraint and appalling manners.

BettyTurpinPies · 23/01/2026 10:44

Something that annoys me is when I order something when out with a group and someone decides that it's to share.

An example might be a group goes out and everybody orders a pizza but I only order garlic bread. That is my meal not a side dish.

Similarly, group orders a curry each, everybody but me also orders rice but I order a naan. Someone will start pestering for a bit of my naan.
Order your own!

Quagmireschin · 23/01/2026 10:46

I read some of this thread to dh last night (I was making the occasional “ewwww!” Sound and he asked me what was so gross.

He reminded me of an old friend of his who we used to go to an Indian buffet with a couple of Sundays a month.

He would always finish of plates of other people’s food. Bearing in mind it was a fucking buffet, so if something looks good, just go and get a bit of your own.

Anyway one time when I wasn’t with them all, our then toddler dd was sitting on dh lap and sneezed all over his half eaten plate. Dh pushed the plate to the side and his mate (not having seen dd sneeze and get all sorts of liquid all over it), grabbed the plate and started eating.

Dh was so pissed off of years of his plate being grabbed from under him, even if he was just having a breather and still going with his food, that he let him carry on without warning.

TealSapphire · 23/01/2026 10:52

I'd be tempted to order the exact same thing as her, no need to 'have a taste' of yours then!

Rightsraptor · 23/01/2026 10:54

When I was young my mother would bring home 3 cakes (there were 4 of us) and say 'I'll just have a piece off each of yours'.

It used to drive my sister and me mad.

BettyTurpinPies · 23/01/2026 10:54

Another moan.

You sit down to eat your food, and before you've picked up your knife and fork, someone asks if they can try it.

Same applies to something like a book or magazine (e,g when on holiday). You haven't even opened it and your companion says 'Can I read that after you?'.
It feels like 'Hurry up! I want it.

Give me some space.

abbynabby23 · 23/01/2026 10:58

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

Your friend is right, you are overreacting! What’s the big deal? I am not usually asking to try anyone’s food but happy to share with friends anytime. I guess you haven’t been to Spain or Greece that tapas is part of the culture and everyone is sharing food!

BettyTurpinPies · 23/01/2026 11:01

@abbynabby23 Helping yourself to food on someone else's plate is quite different to eating a meal designed for sharing.

Wickedlittledancer · 23/01/2026 11:03

abbynabby23 · 23/01/2026 10:58

Your friend is right, you are overreacting! What’s the big deal? I am not usually asking to try anyone’s food but happy to share with friends anytime. I guess you haven’t been to Spain or Greece that tapas is part of the culture and everyone is sharing food!

I’m genuinely surprised how many people can’t see the difference between sharing meals and individual portions

with tapas there are sharing plates, you take your portion and put it on your own plate and eat it, what the op describes is akin to someone taking their portion from the sharing plate, putting it on their own plate, starting to eat it and someone else reaching over and eating it from that persons own plate. No sharing meal involves this, and certainly not tapas.

Whatnameisif · 23/01/2026 11:09

I don't mind sharing food within limits but I can still understand your POV and certainly your friend was out of order ignoring your clear no.

BettyTurpinPies · 23/01/2026 11:10

@Wickedlittledancer , they only skim-read the OP and don't think before posting. Or they're people unfamiliar with manners.

pontipinemum · 23/01/2026 11:35

It is something I sort of like to do, as in yes I would be the one saying 'lets get loads of dishes and just share' BUT only if I get to order lol. Because there are a fair few things I don't eat.

Your friend sounds rude though. I wouldn't ask to try a friends food it would seem weird to me.

My son asks a lot and I always let him he is 3 though and usually decides against trying before he even tries it so I want him to.

RickertyRocker · 23/01/2026 11:55

"fuck off Janice, we don't need two spoons" bloody well said. YANBU.

Seagulls and pelicans can fuck right off.

People that wolf down their food and then try to tuck into yours, same.

Greedy pigs that need to eat everything and see all food as communal and to be consumed asap, same.

I stopped going out to eat with my DF when their DM came too. Every single time their DM gleefully waited with a fork to carry out a royal tasting immediately their plate arrived. DF would ask them to knock it off, even said they would save some. It didn't matter. Horrible manners, unkind and controlling.

DP cannot abide that I save snacks and like my own larder. They are happy to run out and get more and will see all food as ours. I am eating healthy to lose and maintain. I have small bars which I hide because they have two or three at once and eat them. So we now buy two. They can eat what they want and leave mine alone. If I leave half a bar of chocolate, it drives them to distraction. I come from a big family, we grew up very differently. They cannot understand I want my own things to eat whenever I want.

MysticChevron · 23/01/2026 12:10

My oldest, dearest friend helps herself to whatever is on my plate if she fancies it, and I’ve often done the same with hers…but we basically grew up together and would share our school lunches etc…

If anyone else tried that though, I’d be bloody enraged!!! Especially if it’s a bloke…drives me insane for some reason…like, “can’t you just let me have this ONE THING for myself??” 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

YADNBU, OP!!!

YourOliveBalonz · 23/01/2026 12:23

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 16:32

No she said she “only wanted a taste” and I was selfish because I know she loves to try other peoples food when she eats out and “it’s part of the experience of eating out” and I clearly have food issues because my attitude isn’t normal.

I said smoked salmon and scrambled eggs wasn’t exotic and I wasn’t depriving her of some magical food discovery and it wasn’t up to her to decide she could help herself to other people’s food they had paid for because her wants don’t mean she has the right to trample other people’s boundaries.

We aren’t speaking but I’m proud of standing up for myself.
I was the least confrontational person ever and such a people pleaser, I’ve been having therapy because I was constantly letting people walk all over me so this was probably a big shock to her that I’ve argued back.

I would be raging over this bit, she doesn’t sound like a nice person at all:

I clearly have food issues because my attitude isn’t normal.

Leaving aside that her own behaviour probably points towards her having issues there, if she really thought that she wouldn’t bring it up in that way surely? Shes saying basically if you don’t do things her way you’ve got MH problems?! I would want an apology for that bit of gaslighting alongside the disgusting used fork/boundary pushing behaviour.

CandyColouredEggshells · 23/01/2026 12:28

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 22/01/2026 13:54

I don't even like it when people start taking my leftovers off my plate because I've finished eating. I still see it as my meal, so God help anyone who takes food off my plate while I'm still eating it!

My EXHB used to do this, and it used to infuriate me, stop scavenging like some poor half starved animal, you’ve just finished your own rather large meal! 😂

Bleachedjeans · 23/01/2026 12:59

Went for Sunday lunch with another couple recently. I ordered a side dish. It was quite a generous portion. I asked if anyone would like some. The DH of the other couple immediately helped himself to two thirds of my side dish. Greedy cheeky bastard.