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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

434 replies

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

OP posts:
HoneyPie12 · 23/01/2026 18:35

Ooohhhh I can't BEAR this. Like we all have the capacity to read the menu and choose. So DONT FUCKING CHOOSE MINE TOO!!! I HATE HATE HATE IT. That is all. Solidarity sister.

angela1952 · 23/01/2026 18:38

I used to have a friend who would say she didn’t want a dessert and then eat from my plate, scraping the toffee sauce off my ice cream or whatever. She also once took the whole mushroom from my husbands steak meal, without asking. We never went out with her again, she couldn’t understand why we were never free to see her. It’s just so rude.

UnctuousUnicorns · 23/01/2026 18:42

angela1952 · 23/01/2026 18:38

I used to have a friend who would say she didn’t want a dessert and then eat from my plate, scraping the toffee sauce off my ice cream or whatever. She also once took the whole mushroom from my husbands steak meal, without asking. We never went out with her again, she couldn’t understand why we were never free to see her. It’s just so rude.

Edited

The words, "What the fuck do you think you're playing at?" have seldom seemed more appropriate.

TealScroller · 23/01/2026 18:45

I'm with you 100%. I don't want anyone looking at, talking about or God forbid, tasting my food! A sharing platter is an absolute no-no, especially if they take more than half.

CatsOfDoom · 23/01/2026 18:46

YANBU I’m gluten intolerant and when I eat out with my in-laws and I’ve ordered something suitable thats’s GF, or I’ve brought something GF to their house so they don’t have to cater for me, they always insist on “trying” my food. This winds me up no end and I don’t understand why they do apart from it being some weird power.
And I have a friend who is a well known food writer who insists on ordering for the table to share the dishes but their significant other shouts them down every time as they hate it! 😂

Daftypants · 23/01/2026 18:51

I let family taste mine but I get a clean spoon or fork and transfer onto their plate !!
I would do this for a close friend too , give them a small spoonful before I’d started eating it .
i don’t want someone else’s slobbery cutlery in my meal

Quagmireschin · 23/01/2026 18:52

CatsOfDoom · 23/01/2026 18:46

YANBU I’m gluten intolerant and when I eat out with my in-laws and I’ve ordered something suitable thats’s GF, or I’ve brought something GF to their house so they don’t have to cater for me, they always insist on “trying” my food. This winds me up no end and I don’t understand why they do apart from it being some weird power.
And I have a friend who is a well known food writer who insists on ordering for the table to share the dishes but their significant other shouts them down every time as they hate it! 😂

I get the same thing!

If I somewhere I have to take my own food (coeliac, I don’t want it trust anyone else to cook for me), and all I get is people asking to try what I’ve brought with me.

They forget I can’t eat any of their food, so if they take some of mine, I’m going hungry. It really annoys me and they are always so uppity when I point that out and say no.

WhatMyNameis · 23/01/2026 18:55

This reply has been deleted

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WhatMyNameis · 23/01/2026 18:58

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:36

I don’t think I’ll go out with her again to eat.
She knows it’s pissed me off in the past, I’ve tried to keep a jokey tone but was just really annoyed earlier.

She suggested getting different meals before and then halving them so we could have two different options and I told her that I just wanted to order what I liked and didn’t like sharing meals so I thought that would have made it obvious I didn’t want to then start swapping “tastes” of food either.

I don’t want other people’s used cutlery in my food or them eating the part of my meal I was looking forward to the most.
If she wants to try what I ordered then why not have it next time she visits?

I would love to know what people gain from having a few bites out of someone else’s food when they have their own to eat?

I love "a taste" when I haven't had it and am not sure, then next time I know I like it and will confidently order it!

I can read a fucking room tho, I'd never do it to you!

Cherrytree86 · 23/01/2026 19:03

Why are some people so greedy??!

envbeckyc · 23/01/2026 19:04

I only share my food with my husband and vice versa, if we are on holiday and we have ordered food that neither of us have tried before! This is acceptable because we share fluids….. but only if it’s unlikely that a chance to try the food again!

I think that people helping themselves to food from someone’s plate that they are not intimate with is not acceptable, especially with a used fork!

princesspadam · 23/01/2026 19:05

I hate this! My SIL does it and I’ve told her if she wanted what I’m eating she should order it!
I don’t share food with anyone

godmum56 · 23/01/2026 19:07

Tallisker · 22/01/2026 14:45

Or a steely knife 😁

but they just can't kill the beast

JumpingPumpkin · 23/01/2026 19:11

Ew! I would not want someone else taking food off my plate. Happy to share Chinese/Indian/tapas but that's taking food out of serving dishes using clean cutlery.

My ex always used to turn down ice cream cones then ask for a bite, quickly made it clear that if I bought one it wasn't for sharing.

godmum56 · 23/01/2026 19:15

UnctuousUnicorns · 23/01/2026 18:32

Or to paraphrase a line a school friend used to write on her books and stationery etc., "You toucha ma food, I breaka your face." In her case it was "you toucha my stuff, I breaka your face". Such demure and delightful convent school girls we were. 😂

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcQ2U-TJ9aM

UnctuousUnicorns · 23/01/2026 19:27

godmum56 · 23/01/2026 19:15

Yep, that's where she nicked it from. We were twelve in '82, such lovely girls. 🤣

LibDemMoles · 23/01/2026 19:28

I have a friend who doesn’t eat chips or dessert. Unless someone else has ordered it. Infuriating.

Chinsupmeloves · 23/01/2026 19:30

I am this annoying friend who's always curious to try different dishes! I would never however put my fork into anyone's food, well apart from my kids when younger.

CatsOfDoom · 23/01/2026 19:34

Quagmireschin · 23/01/2026 18:52

I get the same thing!

If I somewhere I have to take my own food (coeliac, I don’t want it trust anyone else to cook for me), and all I get is people asking to try what I’ve brought with me.

They forget I can’t eat any of their food, so if they take some of mine, I’m going hungry. It really annoys me and they are always so uppity when I point that out and say no.

God it’s so annoying isn’t it? It never seems to dawn on them that it can’t work both ways.

Grammarnut · 23/01/2026 19:40

YANBU I don't mind sharing dishes in a take-away or at a restaurant where there is a common dish, as long as the cutlery used to take the food has not been anywhere near anyone's mouth or the food on their plate. If it has I just stop eating that food. It's unhygeinic and I would never ask for food off someone else's plate, nor fihish off someone else's food (not even my DCs' when they were small). It's contaminated with someone else's saliva. Eugh.

Oldwmn · 23/01/2026 19:42

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

This is like 'I don't like chips' then pick chips off your plate. I fucking hate it, say so & no one would dare!

Grammarnut · 23/01/2026 19:43

WhatMyNameis · 23/01/2026 18:58

I love "a taste" when I haven't had it and am not sure, then next time I know I like it and will confidently order it!

I can read a fucking room tho, I'd never do it to you!

You shouldn't do it to anyone. It's disgusting.

Elektra1 · 23/01/2026 19:43

Just don’t go out to eat with that friend. Simple. Some people like sharing food, others don’t. She hasn’t got the message that you don’t, so don’t eat with her. Go for a walk instead. Make a joke of it. Or don’t be friends with her.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 23/01/2026 19:46

She seems to lack social skills and awareness to say the least. Not to mention courtesy and manners.

Why do put up with her!

ThisMellowCat · 23/01/2026 19:49

DO NOT EVER, EVER touch my plate when I am eating. It drives me nuts and for her to put her used fork in your food, she’d have had my meal over her head.
many times I have totally abandoned my meal with people commenting on how I enjoy my food, or ogling it so much it put me off, to people just dipping in with no thought.
its rude and unhygienic and it annoys the hell out of me. You are not alone!

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