DC disclosed this to me

[Easterbunny91734]

My DC (teen) disclosed last night that a classmate has not been in school this week, she said everything at home is really bad and eluded that her parents were really not nice (somewhat abusive - but didn’t say these exact words so don’t want to put words into her mouth), and she’s come into school with bruises on her once before. DC said her and friend have said if same classmate doesn’t come into school today they will tell the teacher.

DC went to school this morning before I had chance to speak to her and get any further details.

Would I be unreasonable to contact the school today without giving her the heads up today? Or should I wait until she gets back explain that I will need to contact the school to ensure child is safe and call them tomorrow?

I'm glad you made the phone call OP
It's a difficult thing to do, over the course of my DCs school lives so far I've had to report three things they've told me about. Every time has made me anxious but I knew it was the right thing to do and although school have obviously not told me any updates/outcomes I know from later chat from DC that it helped.

Contact the school anonymously. You don’t know how the abused child’s parents will react. If they find out it was you, they may either come looking for you or your child. Or maybe the abused child will attack your child for ‘dissing’ her family. You’re playing with fire. At the same time, you have a moral duty to protect her.

Before you do anything, be absolutely sure your daughter isn’t exaggerating.

Oh fuck off with breaking trust!
Every time I read safeguarding threads on here, I absolutely despair.
People just sitting on their hands, wondering what to do, being told to say nothing. As a DSL who has had to deal with children being battered and taken into care, makes me sick.

I wish somebody had reported my mother! I’m 67 but it still bothers me!

The OP will not know anything about what happens. So it is a really uninformed request on your part.

No, but her dd will presumably be able to say she’s ok if she comes back into school won’t she? As in she’s alive and was just sick?

What is with some people on here? Honestly, get a life and stop trying to police people on MN and make things up to suit your school prefect agenda (what is it? Were you all wannabe school monitors who didn’t make the grade?)- it’s really pathetic.

It inherently fine and natural to want to know that the girl is ok, and anyone who doesn’t understand that or thinks there is a danger of the girls situation being exposed from that has severe neuroses and over analyses and catastrophises everything and the problem is yours. There really seems to be a lot of this type on MN - I’m guessing it’s bc it’s their only outlet in life as they don’t have friends etc and get a thrill from chastising random people on the internet?

So weird.

Again OP - really hope she’s ok and that you’ll let us know that she is, if you think it’s appropriate x

Guys sorry all has been reported, we have discussed with DC that due to the nature of the concern we have a duty to report this for the safety of another child, naturally DC is worried it will come back to her so have reassured her.
She went into slightly more clear detail that can’t be misinterpreted so will update the school again tomorrow with this as I now know for certain it’s a case of abuse and not just ‘mean’ (aka annoying parents).

Thank God you reported it OP. Really really hope she’s ok and gets the help she needs.

Well done for acting so quickly - and to your dd for confiding in you. Awful hearing about stuff like this x

Do not delay. As the law reads if you contact the school or social services, precede what you are about to say with “ I have a safeguarding issue”. That way they are legally obliged to act on it. A visit to the home will probably happen.

When I was a safeguarding lead at a high school, what you have done OP, would trigger an “eyes on” at home visit, and other agencies would be notified. You’ve absolutely done the right thing. Hopefully the school will support your DC too, reassuring them that they have done the right thing, my school would have done.

You've done the right thing for the kid and for you own DC. When i was about 8 or 9 ish i spotted large bruises on a friend when we were changing for swimming lessons, she begged me not to say anything and I didn't. Nearly 40 years on when I think about it I still feel guilty for not reporting.

Oh no this poor girl, well done for reporting, let's hope that keeps her safe.

Thankyou for reporting concerns to school.
If your daughter has shared more info you can contact Safeguarding at your localcouncil. They are available 24 hours, 7 days a week. You can do this anonymously, though ideally it's helpful to share your details so they can speak to your daughter if needed.

Well done.
I'm sorry I accidentally clicked you were being unreasonable. Of course you're not.

Well done. Your DD has learned important lessons: that you will discuss things openly and honestly with her and that some situations demand firm action.

Good to read you reported it. Ultimately people who aren't trained and knowledgeable should report it to someone who is qualified to know what to do. It can be a hard decision to make to even report it because the very nature of it means you don't have all the information.

If you (one) have suspicion/knowledge of child abuse of any kind, you should report it to school/NSPCC/LADO (LA Safeguarding). You do not have to produce evidence, or investigate further. The body that you report to will do that and no further action will be taken if no evidence of abuse is found. But, it could be that your action will help a child in a very difficult situation and make things better for them.
It is always best to err on the side of caution and let someone know what you know.

I am sorry you feel unwarranted guilt, but you were a child yourself. It should not be a child’s responsibility to report abuse . 40 years ago there were not the accessible support structures that exist today so it would also have been very hard for a child to know what to do. And even today, when people are more aware , there is still a reluctance to report, even from adults .

It was reported the other day that the enquiry into the death of Sara Sharif will not be held until next year, although it is already clear that huge safeguarding mistakes were made by many people who would have had the training and resources to recognise the abuse that was happening but didn’t, or didn’t persist.

Everyone needs to be aware and everyone needs to be prepared to pick up the phone and report concerns.

I agree, along with anybody who says they would be fine with not reporting separately/it can definitely wait because they used to work in a school.

If they worked in a school, they should know better than anybody that reporting immediately is the only course of action, otherwise it makes me wonder how many children were hurt that could have been spared it because they didn't think it was urgent enough to pick up the phone, make a 60 second entry into CPOMS or MyConcern or send an email (and probably then forgot all about it).

I'm really sorry to hear this- the poor child 😢 well done to you and your DD for helping 💙

I might be wrong but aren't the Labour Government bringing forward legislation requiring any public servant (including bog standard Council worker like me) to report any suspected child protection issue within 24 hours too, like teachers?