DC disclosed this to me

[Easterbunny91734]

My DC (teen) disclosed last night that a classmate has not been in school this week, she said everything at home is really bad and eluded that her parents were really not nice (somewhat abusive - but didn’t say these exact words so don’t want to put words into her mouth), and she’s come into school with bruises on her once before. DC said her and friend have said if same classmate doesn’t come into school today they will tell the teacher.

DC went to school this morning before I had chance to speak to her and get any further details.

Would I be unreasonable to contact the school today without giving her the heads up today? Or should I wait until she gets back explain that I will need to contact the school to ensure child is safe and call them tomorrow?

Why has the school not noticed her lack of attendence?

Pass it on to the DSL. Not your job to be detective. Most likely part of a bigger jigsaw they are already aware of.

Another day not reported is another day of potential abuse. Whether the girls goes to school today or not it needs reporting now.

Has your daughter messaged her friend to ask why she’s off? If so, what did the friend say?
Could you message your daughter at lunchtime and ask if the friend is in school/is she ok?

Why not meet her at school when she leaves unless you are at work and take it from there still early enough to report today.

Contact the police and ask them to do a welfare check and tell them you want to keep it confidential

Can you text your DD in school and ask if this child is in today and say that you feel very concerned and would like to speak to school yourself?

Report it now. It is not your job or responsibility to investigate or fact-check. Doing so could delay an appropriate response, and put you and your child in a very much more difficult position.
You can explain to your DC later that you are required to report it.

Do not wait. It is Thursday. If you wait until tomorrow to talk to your DC and then call the school, you are hitting the weekend. If that child is in danger, a 48-hour gap over Saturday and Sunday could be catastrophic.
Call the school NOW. Ask to speak specifically to the DSL (Designated Safeguarding Lead).
Tell them exactly what you know:

1. The classmate has been missing all week.
2. There is a history of bruises (as witnessed by your DC).
3. Your DC and their friend are worried about the home situation being 'abusive'.

Regarding your DC's feelings: Yes, your teen might be annoyed that you 'went over their head,' but part of being a parent is making the tough calls for safety. You can explain it to them tonight: 'I heard what you said, and as an adult, I have a duty of care to make sure that child is safe. I couldn't live with myself if something happened and I did nothing.' The school will handle this discreetly. They won't necessarily tell the classmate's parents that you called; they will just record it as part of a wider safeguarding concern. Please, make the call. Better to be 'wrong' and have a safe child than to be 'right' and too late.

It doesn't matter if your DD has reported it or not, you can still let the school know. Once they have the information they will know what to do
How awful would you feel if your DDs friend was seriously hurt (or worse) and you hadn't said anything
You don't have to tell the school who you are and you don't have to tell your child that you reported it but you do need to report it.

YABU to wait

Standard procedure should be for the school to be carrying out a home visit if they've not seen the child in 5 days. Call and it will push them to make sure they do it as a matter of urgency and also encourage them to look more closely for any red flags while they're there.

The only reasonable response to what you have been told is to report it immediately. Maybe it isn't true, maybe it's exaggerated - no family wants to endure false accusations of abuse however the potential implications of delaying any action are much worse. I'm a child protection lead and would escalate this to the child's Named Person immediately.

Retired HoY here.
Alarming as it is, I’d advise you to wait until lunchtime, then text your daughter to see if she’s spoken to the safeguarding lead. She might be reluctant to confide in you in future if you pre-empt her. It seems as if she feels this is sufficiently important to act upon it herself and if she hasn’t this morning encourage her to do so this afternoon. She’s a teen who has a strong moral compass. Trust her.

If your daughter is a teen I'm not sure I would make a point of telling her I was contacting the school. I wouldn't like to put her in that position. I would contact them fully confidentially, just between you and them.

Agree with this.

You need to wait until you speak with your DC after school today. Then report tomorrow if needs be.
The school can arrange a welfare check ‘from safeguarding lead’ if the friend is still off school and they are concerned. Don’t leave it till next week.

Surely family will have rang the school to say she is unwell, there will be a reason otherwise school would be chasing it up.

Contact the school so it can be formally investigated, well done to your caring DC x

Have reported just asked for DC not to be aware phone call came from us if they do need to speak to her today, so it gives us time to talk about it later and be able to explain the school will need to know.

I would contact her and see if the friend is in school today. If so, I would wait until she got home and discuss the situation with her and the need to report it and would do so tomorrow, just in case school were somehow unaware the friend is having a difficult time at home.
If she isn't in, I would explain that due to the weekend I needed to report and do so. I wouldn't do it behind her back, as she is trying to do the responsible thing, and has been sensible so far.

It might be nothing. And if it is, no harm will be done by reporting it. Safeguarding concerns are very often 'it's probably nothing' and may be minor things in themselves but when there are multiple minor reports a Safeguarding specialist can see a link /pattern of behaviour that may be concerning. You should always report any concern no matter how small . Anyone who has done any Safeguarding training will tell you the same.

Well done. Glad to hear you took the good advice on this thread and ignored the misguiged.

Definitely the right plan of action. If the school want to speak to your daughter, it's easy enough for them to pull in the child's friends and say "Polly hasn't been in all week - have you heard anything from her?", and that might well prompt them sharing their worries.

I’m wouldn’t wait, I’d speak to school and tell them what your child has said and let them deal with it, they will know what to do, please don’t leave it , no harm can come from notifying school.

…or the bruises?