To ask if you would ever forgive someone you hate

[Vibted7777]

I see so many people make amends with people they have had issues with

Forgive yes, for my own sake.
That doesn’t mean making amends though.

There's the whole "forgive them so you can move on yourself" brigade. Personally that isn't real forgiveness IMO it is trying to let them see you have moved on, so still about a power grab. I don't live like that and if someone wants to play power games with me I would sooner walk away. I tend to forget people who treat me badly, as in I remember them but forget a lot of what they did. I don't want to make my life about reprocessing someone else's warped mind. I also think forgetting about someone is the ultimate FU.

I would try.
I might have to forgive them daily.
It’s more about letting it go to give me freedom from the memories than it is about it being okay.
It’s moving on with my life, acknowledging they did wrong but not forgetting, and also acknowledging they maybe were damaged themselves by things from their own past.

No.
but I just don’t care enough to waste my energy on it. I still hope they burn in hell. 🔥

No. I was diagnosed with cancer a couple of years ago. A former friend who made my life hell over 20 years ago got in touch saying how sorry was (she had heard about my diagnosis from her neighbour who is my colleague). I sent her a polite response then blocked her immediately.

No. They did what they did deliberately. Not forgiven.

Is definitely not about letting them see or any power grab. I’m not sure how they would even be involved- would you go up and tell them, making a big show about it?

Absolutely I'd forgive them as soon as they try to stop doing the hateful thing.

Some people do - all over the news parents forgiving kids killers etc. Most interviews where someone famous has a nemesis they wang on about forgiveness, all very publicly.

The one person who I disliked the most (for at least 3 decades!), ended up being one of the people who I trust and love the most. My step mum.

I think forgiveness is bullshit.

The people who have done wrong know what they're doing. They're counting on "forgiveness" to escape consequences of the actions and to do it again.

Moving on doesn't require forgiveness.

Nope.
You wrong me deliberately and you're dead to me.
No exception.

I don’t hate anyone ( not like yes….but hate? …no)

I don't hate anyone.

Some people have done awful things to me but I still don't hate them. Some people I don't see anymore, some I still see daily. Maybe I should hate them but I don't.

That isn't being a bigger person, or anything like that, it's just who I am.

No.

No.

No. I only hate one person. They are plenty of people who have done things i don't like so i suppose really it depends what someones done.

I don't like the word hate. It implies that there is still emotion there. .

I don't forgive. Life's too short for that shit. Move on and get on with your life.

No.

No

No. Vengeance is underrated.

Yes, up to a point. Forgiveness can be really powerful. I had a shitty ex who made me utterly miserable and I hated him for years. Then circumstances brought us in contact again, we started talking and I realised I could decide to forgive him if I wanted to. I did and it made me feel like so light and free after years of being bitter and angry. We're good friends now (have been for over a decade) and I genuinely think it was one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

Yes, this is my view. Hating people (and sometimes I do) is quite an active thing, and is emotionally draining and stressful. If I can i try to make my peace with whatever they are or have done, to the point that I don't give it/them a second thought. But I wouldn't say that's the same as forgiveness.

Forgive is hard. Even people who do forgive still struggle with it. There are people I feel I can never truly forgive. I’ve heard it said that feeling you feel when you cannot forgive someone is a bit like holding a burning coal and wanting to throw it at them but the only person it hurts is you. They are completely unaffected by your inability to forgive and let go.

I used to hate Camilla when Diana died because I thought of her as Charles bit on the side. Later when I learned more about the background of their relationship I gradually came around to quite liking her.

On a personal level if you get put down on my HATE list I will probably never forgive you and will take revenge when I can.