To ask if you would ever forgive someone you hate

[Vibted7777]

I see so many people make amends with people they have had issues with

No

Forgive - yes. I believe the most people are inherently good and doing the best they can. Life is short. People can make mistakes and then grow. Change really is possible.

Forget - never. If someone has hurt me I will always be wary of that person. Once bitten, twice shy. I’ll always make sure I keep a certain level of defence up.

I would forgive, in the sense that I wouldn't seek vindictive revenge, and I would try not to think about them with hatred. But I wouldn't behave as though it hadn't happened, and I wouldn't try to protect them from the consequences of their own actions.

What I would normally do is tell people what they'd done, and then avoid them.

More information needed.

Are they sorry? Are they asking for my forgiveness? Are they wanting to make amends for the shit way they treated me?

If not, then they can fuck off. I would never forgive anyone who wasn't sorry.

My kind of woman!

Forgiveness is one of the few teachings that I struggle with.

I will never forgive a parent for being abusive and making our lives a misery. It was a relief when he died, and I have no regrets in saying that.

I do not forgive my manager for screaming, shouting, bullying people out of their jobs, aggravating mental health conditions, etc. He may be forced to be nice now, but we do not trust him, and we would be overjoyed if he left.

I might try to understand such people, and why they behaved like that, but I can't forgive them, no matter how nice, polite and friendly I am.

I live in hope my stepdaughter might say this about me in the future. I have another 15 years to go!

Hate is a strong word. Why let it fester inside of you. That's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Just drop them and thoughts about them completely.

ABSOLUTELY NOT

Ive never hated anyone.
They just become unimportant to me and when that happens, thats the end no way back.
Ive had some awful things happen to me over the years i come to realise, we dont get over somethings we just get better at dealing with it.

Its down to the person tbh how they feel how they deal with it and how they move on.

surely it depends what they've actually done and why you hate them, or think you hate them.

No, but I don't keep hate in my heart. I just feel cold towards them if they're non-family. It's more difficult with family, so I'd say I put things aside, but I find it impossible to forget, so now I'm wary and avoid being in situations where they could do the upsetting thing again.

As the Corrs once sang.

Forgiven, not forgotten.

No. Takes a lot to push me to hate, but once I’m there, it’s like they’re dead to me.

No real ongoing emotion, just cut them right out, and move on. Life is too short for these people.

I don’t forgive . I cut them out of my life .
They don’t deserve my forgiveness .

God no, they abused my child. The absolute burning rage I feel for them hasn't abated even slightly 13 years later so I doubt it ever will.

Absolutely not. For me to hate someone they must have done something pretty bad. I would cut them out of my life and not give them anymore of my headspace.

No because some things are unforgivable.

What I have done is let go of the anger, because that was eating me up. That’s not the same as forgiving.

A family member. They aren’t sorry for what they did, blocked and out of my life now! I don’t forgive, I can’t do that, I can’t forgive or forget what they did. It does fester unfortunately, but that’s just me! They and their partner can rot in hell for all I care now.

Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Yes forgive for yourself, you dont have to spend time with that person, or forget, or allow yourself into a position to let anything happen again, but let go of the anger/hurt through forgiveness... it does feel better.

I will never forgive some members of my family for what they did. I have given up hating them as it took so much of my energy. Have been NC for 20 years, no regrets, barely any thought of them.

So my take is give up the hate because it is exhausting.

I don't hate people who wronged me. I am indifferent to them. You may call it forgiveness, I guess.

No - I don't hate them, they're nothing to me. Even though they tried to make amends I have no time for them.

Why would i waste head space on them?

Rather hard to imagine forgiveness for someone who raped you. Or your child. Or who sexually assaulted you. Or your child.