To go out once a week as a mum of a 6 year old?

[Wonderinglike]

I'm a mum to the most wonderful 6 year old, who's a real mamas boy and would like to have me round constantly if he got the chance!

Through to chance and a few extra invites I've been out a bit more than usual recently (in the evening). Do you think that being out in the evening more than once a week with a young child is too much?

No

Isn't your son in bed in rhe evenings? You need a life of your own as well as being a Mum

Your 6 year old DS “mama’s boy” sounds as though he’s becoming a controlling prince.

You and your husband show a united front and dismiss his whining about you seeing friends every now and then in the evening.

Yeah you're right!! I went out to a gig last night with my girlfriends and had the best time. Apparently my son asked once for me then went on to have a lovely evening with his dad!

Great!!

If you indulged him on this, he’d no doubt be appearing as the controlling DH in mumsnet threads in 30 years time!

@Cherrytree86it should be.
For both physical and mental health. It also sets a good example to your children and shows them from an early age that their parents have other dimensions to their personality.

Just imagine the likes of @Cherrytree86 as your own DM or MIL.

Judgey and nasty about any parent decision that you take that they don’t agree with. The scathing looks, barbed comments.

Just awful.

Your 6 year old does not get to have an opinion on how often you go out. His dad is there.

Here is @Cherrytree86 on other thread

your parents lifestyle of never being away from you thier child, never socialising and never going to bed past 9pm is NOT the norm, OP (well, not the norm for anyone under the age of 85 years old anyway). For most people that sounds deathly boring and monotonous. Life is for living

I think we have an odd bod on our hands here!

Noooo, I am just joking here! Honestly, I can’t believe anyone would think parents shouldn’t exercise, go out, etc. In real life, everyone I know, makes time for themselves whether they are a parent or not! But on here for many people think that being a parent (well, specifically a mother) means you should totally neglect yourself…and that that somehow benefits your child!!

Of course it’s fine

No, as a child in the 80’s most parents socialised one or two nights a week.
Continue to do that or he might grow up as one of those men who dislikes their partner/wife going out and will interfere with it by sulking.
Teach him it is normal.

No but it's totally down to what you and your son are used to. I travel a bit for work and people often ask if my son (also 6) 'minds'. I've done it since 2021 so it's all he knows, he grumbles when I leave and wants and extra cuddle but after that doesn't mention it.
Me and my partner both have our activity night - I do Mon and Wed, he does Tues and Thurs, plus I go out in the day or evening at the weekend pretty often. Routine is key, my son knows X night is my night and Y is his daddy's. I always make time for him at other times and would never be out for more than two nights in a row.

My husband goes to play football one evening a week, doesn’t bat an eyelid about going, leaves before the kids are in bed and back when they are! Would a dad ask this or be judged on it?? Some mums do evening exercise classes, same thing - still out the house. Mums can live too!

Of course it’s fine. Surely hes asleep for most of it anyway. I have 1 year old, do choir one night a week and probably go out another night every other week to the cinema or drinks

It’s not a strange post - I have kids similar ages and am probably out one night a month, husband even less. I think it would absolutely be fine for me to be out more and my kids would be fine (although they prefer when I’m around) but I love spending time with my kids. I’m finding the messages to tell your child to just zip it tricky to hear tbh. Two things can be true - your child can prefer you around but you may prefer some time to yourself. However, there is absolutely a way to be compassionate about this and no need to be harsh to your child when communicating a new routine to them.