To go out once a week as a mum of a 6 year old?

[Wonderinglike]

I'm a mum to the most wonderful 6 year old, who's a real mamas boy and would like to have me round constantly if he got the chance!

Through to chance and a few extra invites I've been out a bit more than usual recently (in the evening). Do you think that being out in the evening more than once a week with a young child is too much?

I think it’s fine. My baby is only a few months old and I go out around once a week and hopefully always will!

I think if you have the energy and want to absolutely aslong as your not rolling in at 2am every morning pissed up fighting with your husband being loud and then to hungover to get out of bed the next day.

Go out as much as you want to within the limits of what you can afford, what is fair on the other parent in terms of doing the bedtime grind and ensuring you both have the opportunity to go out solo, and spending time together as a couple. Plenty of parents are out most nights shift work. I go to the gym 2-3 eves per week for an hour. Some weeks I might meet friends twice on one week for the whole eve. At least one of my kids complains when I’m on my way out - I reassure them, say bye and go on my way.

Absolutely nothing wrong with you enjoy your life

Do you work full time? Long hours away from DC/DP?

If you're doing a standard 9-5 and home usually for tea/bed I don't see a problem with a couple of times a week, friends, gym, walking the dog.

If you are working lots and don't see DC for tea/bed maybe he's genuinely missing you. A bit of reassurance from you and DP and a few extra nights out short term should be manageable.

Yep, lots of people work in the evenings! I don't see my daughter 3 evenings a week because I work till 8pm.

Thank you so much! Oh no, I don't drink at all. Also the last train is at eleven but I hardly ever stay out that long!

Sounds perfectly reasonable that you should have some time out, well deserved you time

your child will get used to it and dad will get quality time with child

enjoy your own time and don’t worry 😊

Perfect ok as long as he's left with someone he's happy with. My parents went away for a week when I was 6 and I was very happy with my grandparents. The rest of the time, they were out at least twice a week.

Well I’m jealous lol

It’s not unreasonable to go out weekly, especially if he’s with his other parent!

my kids, particularly DS, hate me going out and get all clingy. I just reassure them and go out anyway as I need time to be with friends etc.

Everyone/ every family is different with this.
I think once a week to do a hobby/ socialise is a nice thing - a break for you and some one on one time for him and his dad.
I personally wouldn’t go out more than this with young children - I like my evenings/ weekends to be family time. I grew up with a mum that was always there and a dad that was always out … when I look back at my childhood most of my memories are of my mum!

Mum guilt is so insidious isn't it! Of course its fine and I think its very natural for your 6 year old to not want you to do it because he's a kid and wants his parents all the time, just see it as a sign that you are a good parent to him. That doesn't mean it would be good for him for you to give in to the guilt he exacts. If anything it's good for him to have the "mini" hardship of not getting his own way on this minor thing and learning that your needs and priorities are different to his.

I've been out two or three evenings a week since my child was born, so no! Their Dad is capable.

So I actually do think it’s too much, IF it’s every single week and IF it’s taking a lot away from family time. If your Dh doing the same would be disruptive. For example, if I went out on Friday and Dh went out on Saturday, when would we ever get time together? It doesn’t matter if the other is actually going out, it matters if it would be too much if they did.

I have a friend who went out to the gym 3 nights a week and so her husband went out 3 nights a week…meaning they only had one night together every week. And then eventually he just started shagging some woman from the gym on his 3 days. 😳

Obviously, an extreme example! I think it’s good to have time for yourself every week though, as long as it’s equitable and as long as it’s reasonable and not disruptive. 2 hours in the early evening for a class or to meet a friend for a coffee is different from 6pm-2am and too hungover to get out of bed til noon. The first is a pretty acceptable use of time once a week. The second is more of a once every 6 months sort of thing.

Get rid of the mum guilt! It's fine! I wish I could leave mine for a breather and me time but single parent and their dad is every other weekend 😂. Enjoy yourself for me pleaseee!! 🖤🖤🖤

I went out about once a week from as soon as I could leave my kids. At the time it was recommended that you breastfeed for a year so once my kids had their first birthday I’d go out once a week. My DH and I also went out together once a week. I think it was important for us to have time together. It was good fun and it was nice to have kid free time.
We were fortunate in that we had some amazing babysitters. I still keep in touch with two of them even though my ‘kids’ are now in their 30s.

I never felt any guilt leaving the kids and I don’t regret it al all.

Awk just go out.

See this hand-wringing. Go out and enjoy yourself, your child needs to see that you’re a real human being and your sole existence in life is not to pander to them. You’ll be doing the child the world of good, and this will be reflected in the choices he makes as an adult. Remember, you’re raising someone’s husband and dad here too.

Haha how exactly?

If you have the time then take it with both hands while you can!

I don’t have the same opportunity because my kids are SEN - would love this, make the most of it :)

Once a week every week when you have a little child, that's too much.
We choose to be mothers and this is one of the freedoms we sacrifice. I'm not saying bwver go out for every week is excessive. I never had a nught without my son for the first 10 years

Do fathers have to give up a regular social life or just mothers?

oh come off it.

You know, when I had my first child, 23 years ago, that’s how I felt too. And it really didn’t do me, or my child, any favours. I was a complete martyr to motherhood. It ended up making me miserable.

I

My 7yr old is in bed by 7.30pm, what time is your 6yr old going to bed? I can’t imagine you go out much earlier than 6pm so really it’s, what, an hour without you?